Jaws at 50. A local retrospective

 

Scunthorpe. Bite Me!

The summer of 1975 changed my life and perceptions for ever.

Prior to that watershed I was just a daft 12 year old kid, fairly normal I think amongst my peer group although a bit shy and introverted.

I was into football even though I was not that good and followed the trends of the time in the collecting of football cards (sold with or without bubble gum),playing Top Trumps, watching black and white TV and playing outside at every opportunity.

I would like to spin a great yarn about the specific thing that impacted on my very existence in that summer 40 years ago.

Was it that I left home and travelled the length and breadth of the nation in railway boxcars and communed with hobo's?
Alternatively I may have joined up with best pals for an epic wilderness adventure in a coming of age type scenario.
What about running away to join the circus or being kidnapped by pirates, that sounds plausible.

Well, the truth be told it was the release of the blockbuster movie "Jaws" that did it for me.

It was in retrospect one of the greatest releases of all time but more significantly for me as a sub-teenager it was my first proper cinema experience of a real life action film.

I vividly remember going to see it at the single screen venue in Scunthorpe which was the nearest larger town to where we lived at that time in North Lincolnshire. My Father took me as it must have been rated for children if accompanied by an adult.

The release of a mega film in the summer months was unheard of as traditionally the run up to the Christmas Holidays was regarded as the best time to capture the market. It was a clever ploy given that the theme of the movie, a man eating shark, was set in a summer season in the fictional small eastern US coastal town of Amity.

For the rest of the school vacation with the images and sounds of shark induced death very much in my thoughts I dare not even dip my toe in the sea at Cleethorpes or wider afield on a family fortnight to the west coast of Scotland. As for a trip to the local indoor heated leisure pool, well, this was also pretty traumatic.

I was not alone in my phobia as many who also saw the film could remember the lines in the script spoken by Chief Martin Brody (Roy Scheider) about most attacks by sharks being in comparatively shallow water and quite close to the shore. It was irrational in the extreme but still a strong emotional influence nevertheless.

The whole idea of "Jaws" was that of Steven Spielberg based on a novel by Peter Benchley published in 1974 but even whilst the filming was underway using the natural beauty of Martha's Vineyard, Cape Cod, Massachusets the script was still being worked on by Carl Gottlieb and Spielberg.

This was not a typical Hollywood method but the main collaborators found the experience productive and ultimately successful. Writing was just keeping ahead of the on-location filming pushing the crew and cast to the limit but out of it came some very classic lines which not only captured the very tone of the killer great white shark but became infinitely quotable and memorable.

Best of all is "we're gonna need a bigger boat" which was improvised by Scheider's character  and has been applicable as a comic throwaway in many life and death situations subsequently.

The shark itself was, for the pre-CGi cinematic era, a mechanical wonder of a size and complexity not attempted before. The original schedule was for 55 days of filming but the production had to be continuously extended because of constant breakdowns by the quirky machine.

As for the soundtrack, it was a central part of the horror, suspense and action and yet was reputed to have been composed by John Williams in one sitting at Spielberg's house. The recording session involved the use of 12 bass violins in unison which caused the two theme  notes to resonate to the very core of my 12 year old bone marrow as I sat and cowered in my cinema seat.

The world to me, post 1975, would never be the same again.

Mary, Mungo and Midges- Scotland

 

Mary, Mungo and Midges

Scotland....
still part of the United Kingdom and my location for the past week for an early annual vacation with the family.

It is a magical place.

Mountains in and out of the mist, lochs and glens in and out of the mist and ravenous tiny, wee insects, something certainly to be missed.

Those pesky midges.

We giggled a bit on our first morning in Scotland seeing an obviously seasoned hill walker shrouded in a fine mesh veil over his head and face rather like a shy bride but for the rest of our week our admiration only grew for the man as we found ourselves pursued relentlessly by the beasties.Hiding behind an improvised net curtain or fly screen was inspirational.

Frantic scratching and itching gave, perhaps, a millisecond of relief from the incessant irritation and we had to resort to wholesale and mutual dabbing with a roll-on type insect repellent. The small cylindrical container with the chemical deterrent had a knack of becoming lost in a cagoule pocket, in the folds of a rucksack or disappearing under the car seat. These events incited huge panic amongst our party.

There were brief moments of escape behind the firmly fastened doors and windows of our vacation timber lodge but we had to draw lots to see which hapless individual had to go retrieve any items, such as food, from the car parked just thirty feet away. In the process we felt like we were sending a family member outside to confront a herd of zombies.

Other apparent midge free zones were to be found out in the middle of Loch Lomond on a water taxi ride, in a coffee shop of extortionate pricing (Mocha £3.10), at an altitude above 3000 feet (approx 1000 metres) where, according to my wife and daughter, the intrepid climbers of Ben Lomond, the sleat and snow in mid June were just too much for the creatures to maintain a direct course to extract blood.

I felt almost justified wandering into a McDonalds fast food restaurant to benefit from the rarified atmosphere, oh, and of course McDonalds has a Scottish Heritage making it permissible .

The week was very active with adventures on mountain bikes and in walking gear.

The changeable weather and threat of perforation by midges, should any bare skin be exposed, had no real impact on our determined pursuit of recreation and leisure after a very busy first half of the year in work and home life.

As that great son of Scotland, Billy Connolly said, "There is no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong choice of clothing".

I am at that age, early fifties when I have an over-active interest in and fascination of the climate.

Scotland presents a wonderful opportunity to witness this at close quarters.

In the floor of the glacial valley that contains Loch Lomond, (the largest area of freshwater in the UK), there can, in the course of a few minutes, be alternate scorching sunshine, drizzle and torrential rain, significant variations in temperature, howling gale and complete stillness. For example, a rainbow suddenly appeared to us, flat to the surface of the black cold water only to evaporate within seconds. It was a marvellous, fleeting vision against the backdrop of steep pine clad hillsides and, in the distance, some residual snow filled deep gullies that had so far resisted the spring and summer thaw. On that theme a local resident was heard to say "I love summer in Scotland....it is the best day of the whole year"

We could carry out our own weather forecasting quite easily.

If we could see the upper slopes and summit of Ben Lomond from the log cabin window, looking north, then we could usually count on a few hours of reasonably predictable weather. Just to be safe we could also see through to the Loch shore itself. There was either a glassy sheen of perfect calm on the water or a maelstrom whipped up by winds funnelled through the Glen so that the handful of boats, at anchor, danced around with the clink, clink of masthead gear in accompaniment.

Most of these sights were, unfortunately, viewed through a strange shimmering.

We had seen this before whilst on a Mediterranean holiday as a heat haze effect but in Scotland you can attribute this to the clouds of midges just gathering in the Highlands for another feast on the oh, so foolish, English tourists.

Jesse Rae- Scottish Hero

 

Rae of Hope

I have Scottish ancestors on my father's side consisting of my Gran from the far northern fishing town of Wick and my Grandfather from Tong on Stornaway.

Consequently, I have deep rooted genes which dictate that I go all dewy eyed whenever I hear the bagpipes, know by heart the words of Auld Lang Syne, can fashion a passable porridge from scratch and there are distinct ginger tones in an attempted or lazy growth of facial hair. Although of generous intentions I can be quite frugal and tight with money.

As head of my branch of the family I have also tried to perpetuate Scottish type traditions with observance of such rituals as first-footing at New Years and the cooking of Haggis, neeps and tatties on Burns Night.

I am the proud owner of a kilt in which I was wed but have not been able to secure around my middle-aged girth for some years now. It is brought out on special occasions to prove to incredulous friends that indeed I did honour my Scottish heritage and is always well received. In fact many have commented that the Thomson Tartan weave is quite familiar but they are not sure why. I gloss over the fact that the reason for the deja-vu moment is that Vauxhall cars used the pattern for seat covers in their Astra model hatchbacks in the late 1970's and early 1980's.

We have enjoyed many a family vacation in the Old Country regardless of the blood sucking intentions of the midge population.

That moment of approaching and then crossing the border from England to Scotland, in itself a bit of an anti-climax really, has in recent years been celebrated by the playing on the Car CD of a certain evocative and emotional track- that of "Over the Sea" by Jesse Rae.

It first came to public attention in, I think, 1978 or 1979 after a video version was broadcast on the Channel 4 media and music show of The Tube presented by Jools Holland and the late Paula Yates.

In it an armour clad Jesse Rae wields his broadsword on the top of a Highland Peak and then appears in the same attire on top of a New York skyscraper with the ill fated twin towers just visible in the misty distance. The lyrics, in the terminology of a Sociologist, rue the day that proud Scots were forced to leave their homes and make their way in the brave new world.

The theme and sound of the track remains quite unique and many may recall it on the basis of my description although in fact it did not do much in the very competitive pop charts of that time.

For my 40th birthday my wife sought out a supplier of the otherwise elusive 'Over the Sea' recording through an E Bay seller and confirmed the order by phone. The voice on the other end of the line, in a lilting Scots Border region accent, confessed that he did have quite a stock of the things in his garage and that my wife's interest was quite a rarity.

He asked if she would like the CD autographed. You would be understandably suspicious over such an offer of an added bonus from a complete stranger in spite of a favourable seller rating.

My wife envisaged a hasty scrawl of limited authenticity but it turns out that the vendor was Jesse Rae himself.

It is clear that he has fallen on hard times, mainly brought on by one of those disagreements with a bank that usually and in Jesse Rae's case did prompt financial ruin.

His career had promised much and he was courted by big record companies and the prospect of big money but it did not go strictly to plan.

In 1981 he wrote "Inside Out" which was an international sensation and hit for New York soul and disco group Odyssey and still gets airplay even today. It is all too clear that the reaping of royalties for the record was not enough to stave off bankruptcy in 2002. He also co-wrote "This Time" for The Human League.

In more recent years he has made a few live appearances at Festivals and has provided rugby commentaries on Borders Radio.

As with many short lived but nevertheless iconic figures in the oh-so fickle pop music industry there has been a fading into relative obscurity and anonymity apart, that is from the special place that Jesse Rae has in our own family tradition whenever we boldly venture into Scotland and engage with our proud ancestry.

Footnote; Jesse Rae was seen at the recent UK General Election in his full Highland regalia and looked mighty well.

Link to Over the Sea

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOad0FU9zF8

Listless

 

Looking forward

Things that I have not yet done;

Run naked across a wide expanse of beach
Shouted something rude across a street at Phil Spencer and Kirstie Allsop (if together at the time)
Jumped out of an aircraft
Swum across a wide stretch of open water, fresh or saline
Taken part in a full marathon
Painted something in oils
Won anything in any form of competition
Managed to devour an Oilmans Breakfast of 16oz steak, various other meats, eggs, chips, etc
Had my stomach pumped
Fallen through a ceiling
Been victorious in a game of Scrabble on holiday with my wife
Dressed up in drag
Been entirely happy in wearing boating shoes with no socks
Executed a hand brake turn on a public road
Thrown a McDonalds product out of a moving car window
Eaten a meal without some of the food dropping onto my shirt front
Kept my shirt tail tucked into my trousers on a continuous basis
Had two suits to wear on rotation
Busking with just a descant recorder
Dyed my hair
Played a full round of golf
Burglary
Been the first to be picked for any type of sporting activity
Morris Danced
Written anything that has been published for money
Ridden a cow
Stared at the moon and howled
Driven an Aston Martin
Waved a flag in anger
Placed a one way bet in a High Street Bookies
Preached to the public
Base jumped
Used a spray can to write anything on a wall surface owned by the Local Authority
Cooked a soufflé
Fired an air rifle at a living creature intentionally to harm
Had a moustache or a commitment to facial hair
Chased someone in the street
Kicked in a plate glass window
Jumped a queue in a supermarket
Been civil to anyone riding a horse through a town
Volunteered in a community soup kitchen
Shown disrespect to Marmite
Knowingly left dog mess on a public pavement or area
Baked a fruit cake without assistance
Had the tidiest garden in the street, unless it has snowed.
Walked across the UK
Allowed my hair to be stroked by a chimpanzee
Visited the City of Liverpool
Invested in Ostriches or Jojoba
Played the Stock Market for selfish gain
Paid the local newsagent on presentation of his first bill
Watched an episode of Channel 4's Shameless
Shown any interest in how many pairs of shoes Carrie from Sex in The City possesses
Stared at a guinea pig
Stayed awake for more than 36 hours- ever
Launched a ship on request
Journeyed to the USA
Purchased or owned a Japanese built motor car
Owned a firearm
Read a book in one sitting
Stolen eggs from under a chicken
Contemplated jumping off a motorway bridge
Been friends with anyone Welsh
A victim of a pick pocket
Been the Mr Big of a Betterware or other pyramid selling organisation
Sold a body part, mine or otherwise
Serenaded anyone after a quick course of how to play a guitar and sing
Advanced further than 3rd Cornet in a brass band
Learnt another language to any level of natural fluency
Had my car parked by a Valet Service
Cut and eaten my toenails
Kicked an elderly person who might be a bit annoying
Been in a fight with a serving member of the clergy
Spoken with the Queen
Dressed up in any form of World War 2 uniform
Been stranded in quicksand
Set fire to a public building
Driven an omnibus
Had a pair of leather trousers
Jumped into my pants when suspended between two chair backs and I've been in a hurry
Owned a Jaeger suit
Kept a silk tie from going out of shape
Found an item of treasure trove
Scuba- dived
Bowled an over in proper cricket
Thrown a hand grenade
Skipped along a public highway like a girl
Consumed more than five pints of Guinness in any one sitting
Been mistaken for anyone famous
Sat quietly in a church when not in a formal service or event
Made a daisy chain
Run anyone over
Composed a hit record
Washed my hair in a mountain stream
Climbed Snowdon
Walked along an active railway line
Played on a stair lift in a private residence
Skied
Owned a watch of a type favoured by flyers or nautical types
Completed even a single side of a Rubik Cube
Won a two player video game involving running and shooting
Changed a spark plug in an engine
Worn my wedding kilt with 'T' shirt and plimsolls
Skated on ice with ice skates
Had highlights in my hair
Had any appreciation for the music of Coldplay
Organised a barn dance or beetle drive
Pretended to be foreign
Knowingly lied to a policeman
Found that the other man's grass is always greener or the sun shines brighter on the other side
Resisted humming parts of hymn tunes in the company of non-church goers
Loitered in a public convenience
Forged any coinage
Re-slated a house roof
Tarmac surfaced someone else's driveway
Obtained monies by deception
Smoked a pipe
Leased an allotment
Danced across a pedestrian crossing during the rush hour
Hidden a bar of Galaxy chocolate from another human being
Startled a fox
Swum with Dolphins
Squashed a spider
Agreed wholeheartedly with the idea that a tin can say exactly what it does at any one time
Defaced a public monument
Ascended in a hot air balloon and by definition descended in the same object
Been to Africa
Excavated a hole and created a garden pond
Tickled a trout
Made up any form of explosive from readily sourced domestic ingredients
Drunk more than 1 bottle of wine in any seven day period
Sat astride the ridge of a roof
Taken any form of narcotics
Had my own adult sized duffle coat
Travelled in a three wheeler car
Laughed at a Koala Bear, however ridiculous
Found a truffle in a forest
Walked behind a waterfall
Understood the apparent appeal of adopting a donkey that lives away all of the time
Loosened my necktie before 5.30pm on a weekday
Arson in a Naval Dockyard
Walked along and rattled a stick on the railings of a public park
Rolled down a grassy bank
Held a dance floor enthralled
Used a public address system
Had any form of cosmetic surgery
Learned to waltz
Played a character from Shakespeare in a proper performance
Had my portrait painted
Imagined that I was David Bowie
Mastered the pronunciation of the longest place name in the British Isles
Managed a soccer team
Held a membership of a Health Club or Gym for more than 6 months
Owned a pair of classic Converse All-Stars bovver boots
Possessed a flat cap
Run with the bulls at Pamplona
Walked out of the surf in slow motion wearing light blue coloured Speedo's
Sold any secrets to a rogue power
Successfully rubbed my head and tummy simultaneously in front of witnesses
Burped the anthem of any sovereign nation
Farted before anyone in a position of authority
Chained myself to railings in protest
Had any thoughts whatsoever about world domination
Personally undertaken a medical procedure on NHS premises
Thrown a spear
Wasted my vote
Karaoke singing
Delivered a baby
Invented anything to revolutionise modern living
Participated in any form of subversive plotting
Limbo danced
Extracted a tooth from my own head or anyone I know
Understood why anyone admits to coming from Essex
Walked on the hard shoulder of a motorway, barefoot
Performed street magic
Desired  to hang up a dream catcher in my house
Worn a gold medallion
Upset a gang, the Mafia or a Triad
Perfectly cooked a meal on a disposable barbecue bought from a Tesco Express
Brewed
Purged my colon
Spray painted a piece of tatty furniture to pass off as shabby-chic
Pointed a laser pen at an overflying civil aircraft
Jumped over the turnstile in a tube station
Pretended to be a serving police officer
Slapped a horse on its rump to see what it does
Eaten more than 3 pork pies in one sitting
Served on a Jury
Got stuck in the mud in a tidal estuary
Worried a badger
Travelled on the outside of a train
Spoken disrespectfully of a Chelsea Pensioner
Sported a toupee
Worn my pants above my trousers
Pulled the emergency cord in a railway carriage
Excited the attentions of a security guard
Rummaged in the bargain and end of line shelf at the supermarket
Had an urge to shave off my eyebrows
Envisaged ever developing a dislike for corned beef
Ridden a unicycle to work

I wrote this list exactly 10 years ago to the very day. I am sorry to say that the only thing I can actually cross off my list is that I have only recently startled a fox. 

12 New Pence in Old Money

 

Plane Speaking

What did twelve pence purchase some fifty years ago?

That is an easy one for me as that was the cover price of my weekly magazine entitled "Speed and Power"- dedicated to planes, cars, trains, ships and science fiction. It was also the total allowance of pocket money that I received from my parents every seven days.

The publication started in 1974 but only ran for some 89 or so issues before it was taken over by the mega-magazine of Look and Learn.

I lost interest in it after that.

Rather geekily I have kept my collection together and from time to time I browse and reminisce about the amazing technology of that era although such has been the pace of progress in the last four decades that everything featured as revolutionary then does now seem rather crude, basic and clunky.

Speed and Power also did features on characters and events centred on transport and one from the November 7th edition of 1975 is worth re-telling.

It was about a 31 year old aviator, Douglas Corrigan from California who on July 16th 1938 took off from Floyd Bennett Field, New York with the intention of making a non-stop flight across America to Los Angeles.

This was quite a challenge over 2000 miles and particularly so in his choice of plane-a single engined Curtiss Robin, 8 years old with no radio and the most basic of instruments, some of which he had made himself. Corrigan was actually more of an aircraft mechanic than an experienced pilot perhaps lacking a bit of natural ability and aptitude for an endurance flight.

His map for the westerly journey was to be gauged using a page from a school atlas.

Corrigan's attire was only a leather jacket and his rations restricted to a couple of chocolate bars, fig snacks and some water.There was no parachute on board.

Fully laden with extra fuel tanks it took 3000 feet of runway to lurch airborne and gradually ease up to 500 feet, the required height to set off on the planned course.

Unfortunately, a combination of disorientation and stupidity saw Corrigan mis-read the compass set down on the floor near his feet. He unwittingly took up not a westward inland line but, following the wrong end of the needle, began one of the strangest flights in aviation history.

With no means of communication from those on the ground who quickly realised that he was flying in the opposite direction Corrigan remained oblivious to his error. At a cruising altitude of 3000 feet he found himself between two layers of dense cloud giving no chance of visibility of ground landmarks and certainly giving no hint that he was heading out over the Atlantic Ocean.

His actual view from the cockpit was impeded in a forward direction by a bolted on fuel tank and with another wedged in behind his seat. The only real view was acheived by rolling the plane sideways and looking out that way.

Ten hours into the flight a fuel leak washed around his feet and fearing a fire he frantically stabbed a hole in the floor pan with a screwdriver and by banking steeply any surplus liquid was able to drain off and a fireball disaster was averted.

The loss of fuel led Corrigan to consider an emergency landing but any serious thoughts of this would require daylight.

By his reckoning he would shortly have to climb to 8000 feet to clear the Guadalupe Mountains of Texas. At that height there was always a risk of icing up and sure enough a rain storm turned to sleet freezing on the fuselage and wings. De-icing involved poking a long pole out of the window to chip away at the covering on the wings.

Corrigan felt it would be wise to descend to slightly warmer weather and emerging through the cloud base he was shocked to see nothing but a mass of ocean.

At first he thought that he had overshot the west coast and was above the Pacific but then with horror realised the magnitude of his navigational error.

Now airborne for 26 hours he had reached the point of no return.

The sole option was to carry on and hope that the fuel supply lasted.

Ironically, Corrigan had asked for official clearance to emulate the exploit of his great hero Charles Lindbergh in crossing the Atlantic 12 months earlier but was denied permission on the grounds of the lack of airworthiness of the veteran plane. He was now doing it by mistake.

The fuel situation was a major concern but luckily a strong prevailing westerly had swept him along without depleting the on board reserve.

Two hours further on Corrigan sighted a rocky headland and with the engine straining on the last drops of kerosene he was able to land at Baldonnnel Airport, to the south west of Dublin.

The newspapers lapped up his epic story calling him "Wrong Way Corrigan", although many did not believe that he had flown the entire Atlantic in error. He was however a National Hero and returning to New York was given a ticker-tape parade along Broadway.

Corrigan denied any intention and laughed when the Liars Club of America elected him an Honorary Member.

Written ten years ago

 

Bhutan the other foot.

In these current times of obscene weekly wage levels for Premier League footballers fuelled by extraordinary deals with broadcasters it is nice to hear of a grass-roots story associated with the sport.

There was of course the recent honouring of a goal scored by Stephanie Roche in Irish Football in its attaining second place in the FIFA 2014 Goal of the Year Award beating many of the best male players in the world.

However, the most heart-warming recent story has involved the national football team of Bhutan.

The tiny landlocked country, known as Land of the Thunder Dragon, wedged between India and China has struggled to overcome geographical, social and economic difficulties which to a certain extent have to be well established before any thoughts can be given to leisure or recreation of the population. The hereditary rulers, the Wangchuck Dynasty have been in power for the last hundred years and have controlled citizens through imposing compulsory national dress and through the philanthropic ideas of Gross National Happiness whereby a happy harmony is imposed balancing the spiritual and the material. The Buddhist Culture is strong and has caused conflict with an ethnic Nepalese enclave  in recent years. The landscape in the Himalayas is striking but tourism is controlled.

The national sport of archery has been dominant and it was only until students, studying overseas, returned and brought back the idea of football that things started to progress. There had been no exposure to the world of football prior to this particularly as television had been banned until the late 1990's.

Bhutan joined FIFA in the year 2000 giving eligibility to compete in Asian Tournaments and a few Friendly matches with near neighbours but still involving great distances to be travelled.

The team was made up of part timers and those in education with sparse resources and skills to call upon.

There was some early success with wins against Afghanistan, Montserrat and Guam but in the 18 games since 2008 Bhutan failed to run out winners in any form of competition.

Consequently, the outcome has been that Bhutan have been, officially, the worst international team of the 209 member associations within FIFA with no points earned.

The standard of play or rather the extent of being outclassed was emphasised by a defeat to Kuwait some 15 years ago which at 20-0 remains a record score. This did prompt additional investment in the sport with infrastructure changes including artificial turf pitches, an Academy Structure and a support network of medical and ancillary services.

The players have seen a more formal pay regime put in place although at £100 per month there is no comparison to even the lower league salaries in Europe and the wider world.

In the second preliminary round of qualification for the 2018 World Cup a few weeks ago, Bhutan were to play an away tie in Sri Lanka, themselves ranked 173rd by FIFA.

The hosts fully expected a bit of a goal-fest and before the match media interviews with Sri Lanka's national coach and captain aired a feeling of being belittled at having to play such a lowly band of no-hopers.

The fixture list for the early qualifiers included Cambodia v Macau, Timor Leste v Mongolia and Yemen v Pakistan but Bhutan trumped the lot by winning in Columbo by a solitary goal by Tshering Dorji.

Hopes have been heightened for further points to lift Bhutan out of the bottom place of the rankings and the return match in the Changlimithang Stadium, ringed by snow capped mountains in Thimpu is eagerly awaited.

After the historic away win there was no bonus payment to the squad and certainly no trip down to the Bentley or Porsche Car Showrooms to browse the latest models as befitting top footballers.

The team did celebrate however in a visit to a KFC Fast Food Restaurant just down the road from the hotel.

Written Ten Years Ago Today

 

Child's Play

A recent Report from The Children's Society in the UK expressed concerns that teenagers are becoming increasingly unhappy with their lives.

Amongst the reasons cited for the disgruntled mindset of the current youth of the country are school, appearance, choice and freedom.

I am the first to accept that we are living in very different times. There are economic undercurrents, Environmental issues, World Unrest, we are up to a NOW!85 album for goodness sake  but when I was a teenager I never had time to even contemplate if I was worried about anything because I, like my peers, was just too busy getting on with things.

From getting up early to going to bed, early, the day was simply packed with activities.

Of course, during school term time there was the effort to get ready which in a household of 5 children was only kept from being chaotic by good adult supervision and a rota for the bathroom and the breakfast table.

We were always well turned out in school uniform, washed and brushed and with clean shoes. This enabled us to follow our Father as he strode off down the street to take on his role of Manager at a bank in the town. We would straggle along before peeling off at the top of the road to the school although on more than one occasion my younger brother just doubled back when out of sight and went home.

We did range about quite freely in our teenage years whereas with the modern phenomena of paranoia around stranger danger and the perception of crime many of todays young adults are driven about everywhere by over indulgent parents.

We stayed for dinner at the canteen. This was not one of these multiple choice affairs which feature in State Schools today and rival a reasonable bistro but with a menu that you could set your calendar by. Monday was fish fingers and chips, Tuesday liver and onions, Wednesday some form of meat in a pie, Thursday cold salad and Friday some other form of meat in some form of gravy. There was dessert  including flapjack, treacle sponge pudding, spotted dick, chocolate sponge and Angel Delight on a strict rotation basis whether or not complimentary to or inducing an adverse reaction when combined with the main course. All washed down with tap water and ,oh yes, pink custard.

As for lessons, well we just stuck to the basics of the three 'R's as they say with a smattering of science, languages, arts, crafts, music and strenuous physical exercise. There was none of the variation found in the current curriculum such as multi faith studies, media studies, citizenship and vague arty-farty subjects for which everyone gets a certificate of merit.

There was a level of mutual respect between the teaching staff and us pupils although it was borne more out of fear and retribution rather than anything enlightened. I do not think that I ever knew the Christian names of any of my teachers in senior school unless bastardised into a nickname or if it was unusually hilarious and capable of being sung or put in an offensive rhyme.

We did have a clear objective in our schooling years whether to go on to a University, Polytechnic or College or go straight into employment. I can appreciate some of the anxiety of the current teenagers about what to do with their lives post-secondary education given the lack of meaningful full time jobs in the UK economy.

As for money in our pockets, well, I only had my pocket money which until I got a paper round was based on one new pence per year of age. This did not go very far other than my monthly comic/magazine, goodies and my flirting with being a smoker, briefly, one rebellious summer.

I was never a saver and shamefully this still applies into my 6th decade on the planet.

In the absence of personal wealth the only option was to make your own entertainment and this we did large.

What was better than having competitive foot running or bike races around the housing estate with your mates or going into battle armed with home made bows and arrows against the kids from the nearby council houses?

The local streams and ponds were teeming with sticklebacks, frogspawn and newts providing endless hours of fun from daybreak to dusk. Just take a net on a stick and a jam jar.

There were trees to climb, gardens and allotments to trespass through, small shops ripe for a five finger discount if in enough of a group to constitute a distraction for the proprietor, things to set alight and wait for the fire brigade, doors to knock on before running off, people to follow at random through the town just to see what they were up to, Bob a Job week once a year with a licence to wash cars and use all of my Father's chrome polish on gleaming bumpers and hub caps, animals to stalk and worry, girls to chase, catch and kiss, small kids to impress with bravado and daring near the railway line, river and on the bridge over the by-pass.

It all now sounds borderline delinquent and illegal but I like to think that all of these things were enacted in the right spirit and with not a malicious thought in our heads. Some friends did get arrested or died though.

Any prowess at sport, in music or in performing arts was hard earned through many hours of practice and sacrifice of time and effort. That was probably why I never did much in any discipline in my teenage years. Todays youth are just waiting around optimistically to be discovered by talent spotters whether singing flatly and nasally under their headphones at the Mall ,on a You Tube video or through posted on Facebook.

I can sense their frustration if by the age of 17 they have not signed to a record label or modelling agency or are not otherwise entrepreneurial millionaires.

Teenagers today are very fashion and image conscious. We were never too concerned about our appearance. Take a look in the family photo album from my mid teens and you will know this to be true. My idea of style was a pair of Lopez jeans, formal shoes, button up shirt and a cardigan. Pretty square you would be entitled to say but I can assure you that I did not stand out as being any different to my contemporaries. My hair style, or lack of it, was a bit of a basin cut, floppy fringe and with the later mature growth of sideburns which, if shaved off after the summer, just left a white stripe down the side of my head.

Perhaps we were innocent and naïve compared with the current crop of teenagers who have multi-media and Wikipedia at their fingertips. Perhaps we were happy to look up in a book or just wait if a question was needed to be answered rather than demanding immediacy. Perhaps we lived in a time of guaranteed employment and a job for life. Perhaps the world did not seem such a scary place because we were not force fed scaremongering news on a 24 hour basis. We did, it should not be forgotten, live under the threat of nuclear world war, civil and social unrest and turmoil but the key factor to maintaining our sanity and off setting those very modern ailments called childhood stress and unhappiness was that we knew how to play and have fun.