Menaces and Perils

The lower shelves of a typical local High Street newsagents today are very different from those in my formative years (1960's and 70's). 

Not only is there a vast range of comics and magazines but these are pretty sophisticated in their print quality, highly commercial in their content and of course with a price tag to match. Even allowing for production costs and inflation what I used to pay pocket money pennies for is now anywhere upwards to a fiver. 

The current titles are firmly focused on a new film release or long running movie franchise, sports with football dominant but wrestling not far behind, offerings from cartoon studios and even lifestyle factors although when I was at that target age we did not have any real perception of such things beyond what our parents dressed us in and fed us on every day. 

The mainstay print matter of the children's comic had not really changed much from the time of my own father and his contemporaries in the 1930's and 1940's with the likes of The Beano and The Dandy for entertainment and more weighty knowledge and education based publications such as Look and Learn. 

The Beano and The Dandy reached an astounding 2 million circulation in the 1950's largely attributed to the fact that there was very little else available to attract the interest of the children of that decade. The key characters of Roger the Dodger, Minnie the Minx, Billy Whizz, Walter the Softy, Desperate Dan, Korky Kat and the enigmatic Black Bob really caught the imagination and became household names. 

These comics by D C Thomson were followed in the post war era by other titles to appeal to a slighter older age group and mostly males including Tiger which featured Roy of the Rovers, Eagle with Dan Dare, Valiant and Warrior. 

At the age of eleven I can recall the anticipation and excitement of purchasing a band new comic offering, Warlord (1974). 

This had, as the title suggests,a very militarised storyline re-enacting second world war conflicts and with my schoolmates being re-introduced to stylised german phrases of "Achtung", "Hande Hoch", "Donner und Blitzen" which were put to good use charging about the playground or our housing estate. 

Warlord was to my mind the last of such themed comics brought about by the moral stance of producers and stockists against toy guns and weapon based toys in the 1980's. 

Other comics fell by the wayside being unable to compete with television, video games, computer and media based technology. The heritage of the comic does however survive on the newsagents shelves as well as many print based publications now being available on line. 

My generation in particular retained a nostalgia for the comic and its individual and collective characters and this was very much behind  the emergence of Viz in 1979 and its position within ten years of being the biggest selling in its media category. 

Viz is loved or loathed, championed or villified, quoted or ignored but represents to me a natural progression for my age group from the innocently mischievous antics of the likes of Dennis the Menace and Beryl the Peril to a new edgy, streetwise, toilet humour, controversial and downright offensive outlook which is so relevant to current life and all of its situations. 

The almost Mission Statement message on the official web page of the comic, or magazine as it prefers to call itself pulls no punches.

Viz Comic is a British magazine published ten times a year. Since 1979, its irreverent mix of foul-mouthed, childish cartoons and sharp satire has seen its creators hauled over the coals by the United Nations, questioned by Scotland Yard’s anti-terrorist branch and exhibited in the Tate Gallery. Now well into its fourth decade and suffering from hairy ears, stress incontinence and piles, Viz is firmly established as a national institution, just like Broadmoor Hospital for the Criminally Insane, the DVLA and the Porton Down Chemical Weapons Research Facility.

Here is just a small selection of the fantastic Viz characters that kept me amused and embarrassed in equal measure. Do not read on if easily offended.

Barry the Cat – a  parody of The Beano's acrobatic crimefighter Billy the Cat. Barry is incompetent, hopelessly uncoordinated, and is immediately recognised despite his "cat-suit" disguise.

Baxter Basics – an extremely amoral and sexually deviant Conservative MP who first appeared at around the same time as John Major's Back to Basics campaign, and a transparent statement on the hypocrisy of politicians

Beeny of the Lamp – An Aladdin parody in which Sarah Beeny comes out of a magic lamp to help a young couple wishing for advice on buying a property.

Cockney Wanker – a swaggering, bigoted Londoner who speaks in rhyming slang.

Desperately Unfunny Dan – parody of barrel-chested Desperate Dan who tries too hard to amuse people with his superhuman feats of strength.

The Fat Slags – two enormous sluttish women living in Mansfield, San (Sandra Burke) and Tray (Tracey Tunstall), with huge appetites for both sex and food.

Grassy Knollington – a schoolboy conspiracy theorist who would spend every strip putting together and explaining complicated and outlandish theories behind certain events often to the exasperation of his friends.

Johnny Fartpants – a boy afflicted with extreme flatulence. Tagline: There's always a commotion in his trousers. He suffers from extreme, excessive flatulence which is not only offensive to the nose and ears, but destructive to those around him. His gaseous emissions have been known to destroy houses and other hard-surfaced articles, as well as injure people. He is always apologetic, and constantly reminds people that his colonic expulsions are beyond his control - despite his insistence on "keeping to a strict pump diet", which often includes beans and "cabbage water".

Peter the Slow Eater – a man who, as the title suggests, takes his time eating meals much to the frustration of his family, especially his kids whom he will not allow to leave the table "until everyone has finished eating".

Raymond Porter and his Bucket of Water – a boy who carries around a bucket of water which he uses to solve all sorts of problems.

Sid the Sexist – a young man with no sexual experience who boasts of his success with women. His distinct lack of tact or any social graces do not help him in his quest to "pull" women.

Terry Fuckwitt – an extremely dim-witted boy. Fuckwitt continuously mistakes situations, objects and people for each other.

1979 was my 16th year and Viz was the perfect  escape publication for me or at least as much as it could be for a quiet, shy, unconfident and rather geeky lad with no firm political or other life threatening affiliations in a sleepy Yorkshire town.