Chess for Aliens

It is a game played on a chequered coloured board of eight squares by eight.

No, there is no significance to the dimensions, just regular and constant.

I am not sure if there is a hidden meaning or whether it represents a secret code to unlock the secrets of the universe or a portal into another dimension.

Each side has an equal number and range of playing pieces.

I accept that in the real world of intergalactic gamesmanship this is never the case and there is, as you allude to, always a dominant and superior master race keen to put down lesser beings.

The front line of pieces is taken up by the pawns, ok, I suppose you can call them puny underlings. They are the foot soldiers, no, unarmed apart from their range of movement which admittedly is a bit limited to two and then one forward step at a time. It is advisable to try to keep them on the board, well if you want to call them cannon fodder and expendables then that is you own view. These pieces are useful to mix it up amongst the higher value pieces and they can often sneak in and take them by surprise. No, they do not have any special powers such as invisibility, stealth, transportation or inter dimensional travel.

They may be a concept you find difficult to grasp.

If you have happened to see Star Wars, which is a must for any alien culture seeking to take over the Earth and its peoples the pawns, yes pawns not an aquatic species from the shallow oceans, are the same as the Imperial Forces.

Alright they do seem pretty dispensable. You have a point there.

Behind the pawns are the main and influential chess playing figures.

At the outer flanks are the castellated pieces. They can range up and down the board in straight lines in both dimensions (yes, just the one overall dimension) and are good at covering longer distances in any game.

Adjacent are the knights represented by a horse head figure. The move in a horsey motion which is two forward and one aside. Yes, it is a bit random and unusual but you would be surprised how many combinations and how much versatility that gives in a game situation.

Sitting next to them are the bishops. They are, on a conventional set of chess pieces quite alien looking in their own right. I will not get into an explanation on the role of the church in world history at this stage as it may be difficult for you to grasp. It is complicated at the best of times. They can move diagonally across the board and are quite a potent force.

In the middle of the back line are the King and Queen.

It is a monarchy which again you may not be able to comprehend if your own culture has evolved to a much higher plain of intelligence and social composition.

The queen is the most mobile of the pieces and can range about the board generally at will. Yes, the king figure is a bit dead and lifeless but the crux of the game is to protect the king from being trapped and eliminated.

There are, as you intimate, simpler ways to kill a king but the game of chess has been around for centuries and the art of acheiving that final winning move has evolved into a very extensive sphere of tactical study, let alone involving philosophical, social and cultural aspects of human existence.

Who plays chess? Well, it is open to all ages and children used to be encouraged to learn from an early age but that has tended to be supplanted by video games which are more stimulating and, I accept, violent and manic. Typical players do tend to be those with a bit of time on their hands and it is a pleasant way to pass an afternoon or an evening. It is a game of strategy, deception, bluff and bluster and so in my mind does somewhat reflect many traits of our species here on earth.

As an invading force you would be best advised to study the game of chess as a microcosm of humanity. Some of the world's greatest leaders and minds were chess players and their mental agility and broad thinking will have been nurtured by the challenge of the game. Indeed if you look through momentous political events in history there will be signs of tactics similar to those at the heart of chess. At various stages in mankind the figures represented by the pieces have come to prominence in the form of military, feudal, religious and monarchical power and the consequences have been fundamental in shaping how society is today.

Fancy a game?

The prize?

How about complete control over Planet Earth........