Monday, 11 February 2019

English Lesson 4

One of the many radio re-runs that I find myself laughing out aloud to is "I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue" which is a very long running improvisational comedy show which over its many decades has featured the very best in comedic and entertainment talent.

A regular feature in the show is the offering by the participants of definitions of words towards the Uxbridge English Dictionary.

For any student of the English Language this must be most confusing as although the donor word is a bona fide one the meaning as described is only intended to elicit laughter or gasps of shock and awe.

The letter D featured here has a heavy Welsh influence for which I can only apologise.

Here is a bit of a compilation of definitions either broadcast since its launch in 1972 or just held in a remarkable database produced by Kevin Hale, undoubtedly the greatest fan and authority on the subject.

The list is in no particular order; (see earlier lists under English Lesson 1, 2 and 3)

Dictator- a humourously shaped root vegetable

Disconsolate- definitely a particular Embassy

Disappear- to insult a member of the Upper House of Parliament

Dunderhead- what a sculptor says after he's completed the top of a bust

Dilate- live long

Dipthong- washing a flimsy undergarment

Dentist- a man who repairs damaged cars

Dissident- a foreigner pointing out the damage to your car

Disguise- pointing at the foreigner who is pointing out the damage to your car

Dilatory- how to make contact with a member of the Conservative Party

Doughnut- eccentric millionnaire

Dragnet- stockings for men

Delight- turn off at the wall switch

Dogma- a bitch

Diptheria- someone who is an expert on recessions

Diversion- translation into Welsh

Direction- an aroused Welshman

Drawback- problems associated with those who are not circumcised

Dyspepsia- Coca Cola is easily the best over other soft drinks

Direct- a destructive Welshman

Delectable- Teresa May on current performance

Derelict- erotic experience in Northern Irish City

Dandelion- a big camp cat

Defunct- losing your sense of rhythm

Deserted- someone stole the pudding

Domineering- an earing shaped like a domino

Decease- to stop stopping

Dover Sole- Kentish music

Dossier- a French tramp

Digression- Welsh fighting talk

Donation- the place where Homer Simpson is King

Damnation- Holland

Disdain- to be rude to a native of Copenhagen

Debasement- de room under de ground floor of de house

Deft- ebsolutely med

Demistifier- a retired magician

Diffident- novelty toothpaste

Discount- pointing out a member of the nobility

Dodo- a repeat of The Simpsons

Dukedom- birth control for aristocrats

Dubai- Debbie from Birmingham

Decrease- doing the ironing

Diversity- a Welsh seat of learning

Doodlebug- sketching an insect

Dynamite- taking a flea out for lunch

Defuse- a safety measure in de plug

Doldrum- entertainer of a queue at the Department of Social Security

Dismiss- being rude to a female teacher

Dialog- a very poor piece of wood

Demister- castration tool

Delaware- to have seen a episode of Only Fools and Horses

Dunstable - to have shaved

Dumbstruck- hit by a man in a white van

Disgruntled- a pig with a sore throat

Disarray- giving directions in China

Ditto- one of the Marx Brothers fired for being too "samey"

Downloads- description of share prices in a post-Brexit Britain

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