Thanks to that extra set of repetitions the last time I was in the gym (18 months ago) I was able to hang on and support my own weight whilst dangling down from the loft hatch after the aluminium ladder had collapsed beneath me.
I suppose, on the law of averages, I was about due such an incident.
In my daily work of house inspections I am up and down into and out of loft spaces. By my reckoning that's about 6 such ascents and descents every day. The floors walked App on my mobile phone can be submitted to verify the regularity and frequency of this. So, across a typical diarised month of appointments, allowing for flat roofed properties, already converted roof spaces and lower floor flats I place my trust in my own ladders or if something is built in at the property I do the same with those around 60 to 70 times.
Extrapolated across my thirty plus years in the Profession and the stats represent a big number.
Most homeowners have fitted very good foldaway or retractable ladders to get access to that void at the top of their property as our consumer society dictates that we have a lot of surplus stuff to store away for posterity or "just in case". They want something sturdy and reliable to use so that any stowage requirement can be swiftly dealt with.
Apart from the incident a couple of days ago now I have had just the one other dodgy experience with a loft ladder, suffice to say and obviously I survived a few moments of fear and anxiety. I am quite nimble at dodging the occasional ladder which, on opening the trap hatch, suddenly decides to shoot out and down without prior warning.
If I have any reservations about the arrangement to get into a roof space I simply use my own equipment although this does, in some cases, involve lowering the built in ladders to make space to get past.
Ironically on the day that I fell out of the loft I had already done the hazardous bit of exploring the far recesses of the cavernous void by torchlight. This had entailed careful footfalls on the ceiling joists mainly by using the toe of my shoe to move aside the insulation material to find them. There were some boarded out areas but these were just old internal doors laid loosely. These can easily give way or just pivot at the point of least support.
Getting into that loft had been easy enough and so I had no second thoughts or reservations about getting back down again.
I cannot explain how the ladder came to collapse.
It was safely and appropriately angled with a good firm base on the floor and yet it swung out in the opposite direction, snapped off at its timber mounting above the hatch and ended up in a heap on the stairwell landing leaving me suspended in mid air.
At this stage the noise of failing alloy had alerted the homeowners to the fact that something out of the ordinary had happened but they simply called to ask if everything was alright. I was too pre-occupied with holding on to respond at first although realising that I could get hurt from letting go and dropping to the ground I managed to make a plea for help.
I like to think that it was in a calm and dignified manner although I cannot be sure. The man of the house swore when he saw the scene in his normally pristine home but was very concerned for the welfare of the Surveyor with the flailing legs and faltering voice (not calm and dignified in reality)
In true heroic rescuer style he grabbed my legs to support my bulk and uttering the comforting "I've got you, don't worry" he encouraged me to release by grip and ease down on to his shoulders. It was an awkward moment and I actually ended up sitting on his head before being embraced in a bear hug and lowered to the linoleum.
As only two grown men can react after a moment of pseudo-intimacy we stood apart and I apologised profusely for what was quite a bit of damage to the hatch area and of course the mangled ladder. Perhaps we should have talked about football or something overtly masculine.
The fortunately for me not-post mortem ensued.
He was a regular user of the ladder and being heavier than me he couldn't understand its failure.
I could see that he was thinking ahead to a conversation with a Claims Handler for an ambulance chasing firm acting on my behalf but I reassured him that there was no blame to be had in what had simply been an accident.
After all I only had a bit of a twinge in my thigh and a good deal of embarrassment but was altogether unscathed.
I left the property in one piece but left my details with an assurance that if the repairs were to be costly he was to contact me for payment.
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