Blotting your copy book

Just a bit of an apology today. It must be something that the hot weather brings out in some of use- remorse.

To explain:

My day job involves taking detailed notes about the physical form and condition of, mostly, houses.

This means that I carry around a pen all of the time in readiness to record longhand my observations.

The pen actually spends very little time in the writing position as in the logistics in getting my equipment and ladders together from car to front door it can find itself behind my ear, gripped in my teeth, stuffed in a pocket or simply held in place under the strong spring of a clipboard.

I stopped, long ago,  putting a pen into my inside suit jacket pocket because of the inevitable seepage of ink following even minor squashing or compression.

In actually walking around a house I lose track of the position of the pen knib and that is where my need to apologise comes into play.

That inky pen end just ends up leaving a long straggly line across wallpaper, plaster, door fronts,
Kitchen units, staircase banisters and many more nicely presented finishes. One particular area of risk is the soft furnishings such as heavy curtains or other decorative hangings.

If this occurs out of sight of the homeowner or occupier I can try to remove the unsightly blemishes with a bit of spittle and the sleeve of my shirt but not always fully effectively. That darned biro ink just goes and smudges at will even under the best intentioned efforts of spit and polish.

I can be under constant scrutiny during an inspection which is understandable from an interested or distrustful host but I can deploy diversionary tactics and try to return to the crime scene a bit later on in the inspection. The offer of a cup of tea or sending my shadow to find some paperwork gives me a window of opportunity to cover my tracks.

Often as not my crude graffiti type tag is left in situ.

There is the rather nervy anticipation of an irate phone call or letter of complaint in the after inspection phase but amazingly this has never materialised.

I can only speculate that the discovery of and subsequent blame for the inky mess is directed at a member of the respective household, perhaps a small child, a stroppy teenager or careless spouse.

I am not proud of my clumsiness and uncoordinated pen skills and so offer an apology, a sort of blanket one as my customised efforts are likely to grace a good number of the 30,000 and more houses and homes that I have visited in the course of my work in the last three and a bit decades.

Dictionary definition of to blot your copy book- to do something that spoils the idea that people have of you