English Lesson 20

Already up to the letter "T" in this celebration of the madcap humour of the panellists of the BBC Radio Classic "I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue". 

The skeleton schedule of, in particular, BBC Four Extra in the perpetual UK Lockdown may have meant that new work remains on the pre-broadcast planning files but fans of ISIHAC will be revelling in the regular re-runs of the shows from the last few decades. 

This extract is thanks to Superfan Kevin Hale who has painstakingly compiled what must be a complete record of the output of the show and its wacky, irreverent, often rude and politically incorrect definitions of ordinary words. 

Here goes;

Trolley- a bit like a Troll

Tentative- fears about going camping

Telepathy- can't even be bothered to change channel on the TV

Tadpole- tracing some distant ancestors to Krakow

Tripod- a 3 legged device to carry offal

Tycoon- someone who made millions from selling neckties

Thermidor- a Spanish Lobster Fighter

Toadstool- porn version of "Wind in the Willows"

Tally ho- carvings on the bedpost in a brothel

Trash- Yorkshire skin complaint

Tapas- a subtle touching of someone's bottom

Tombola- a man who throws cats

Toronto- what a drunken Lone Ranger calls his sidekick

Transistor- a Nun with strangely large hands

Trampoline- where a hobo hangs his washing

Titilate- delayed puberty

Toilet- a little bit of work

Turpentine- a Geordie highwayman

Tarmac- saying thanks to a Scotsman

Tapioca- a disappointingly average dance routine

Taffeta- Welsh goats cheese

Trigonometry- a device that a cowboy uses to track down his horse

Tomahawk- a fruit of prey

Truncheon- midday meal of a Policeman

Toucan- a couple of tins

Tint- the opposite of tisn't

Tortoise- slow Musketeer

Torpid- a partly made torpedo

Testicular- a Vampire who talks a load of bollocks

Tutonic- to go with two gins

Tiddlywinks- going to the toilet in the middle of the night

Tailback- restorative surgery on a Manx cat

Tissues- things of importance to a Yorkshireman

Twofold- beginners origami class

Tannoy- being a loud nuisance

Tapestry- the art of plumbing in the Renaissance

Thermos- the Greek God of picnics

Testicle- an exam question that makes you laugh out loud

Tickertape- temporary repair of a wrist watch strap

Torrid- something nasty in Yorkshire

Trifle- three barrelled shotgun

Tinker- a philosopher from Ireland

Tyrant- the anger expressed when asked to put on a necktie to enter a restaurant

Typhoon- a brand of tea that gives you wind

Twinge- Sean Connery describing children of the same age

Turbine- windy headgear

Tatter- poor quality milliner

Truculent- hire of a heavy goods vehicle