Sunday 14 July 2013

Al Fresco and the Barbecue Kid

Cooking outdoors can be a challenge.

There is the weather, unpredictable at best even in the supposed peak summer periods. There is the flora and fauna of the local environment which can exert an influence, those pesky wasps and the scorchable, smouldering bits of dry vegetation downwind amongst many other factors.

Then of course the neighbours may be upset by all that goes along with the outdoor cook such as the blaring and distorted music soundtrack , the inevitable effects of alcohol on sunburnt and frazzled souls and resultant loud voices at last free of inhibitions notwithstanding a drifting cloud of charcoal odours and burnt meat.

These are potential and persistent problems but do not seem to discourage or perturb an Englishman seeking to emulate his Australian and American counterparts who are the world renowned authorities and experts on the art of barbecuing.

My own barbecue efforts are passable in that the food is cooked and edible albeit not a little bit blackened and carcinogenic.

The secret of a satisfying cook-out is not to be too ambitious with the menu.

Stick to the old and trusted faithfuls of quarter pounder burgers and pork sausages and then gradually develop the range to encompass say, a vegetable kebab as an exotic possibility.

I only ever use those cheap disposable barbecues which can be purchased from my local petrol station convenience store and for no more than £4 a pop. It is important to check that they are dry and combustible as in the past I have found them to have been stored in a damp locker on the forecourt and completely unusable even when saturated with highly flammable white spirit.

A good shake and shuffle of the packaging out of the line of sight of the shop staff can determine if the constituents have not fused together over the winter months as part of the previous seasons unsold stock.

I buy two at a time , not because they are on special offer, but as a consequence of them being very small in size to such an extent that the grill is crowded when occupied by only four burgers.

The lighting stage is critical to get an even burn of the irregular lumps of charcoal. Some versions are already impregnated with an accelerant but more recently a sheet of fuel saturated fly-type paper sits on the surface and upon ignition melts and hopefully sets off a chain reaction in the underlying contents.

The maxim of a watched kettle never boils can be adapted to "a watched barbecue never has an even spread of temperature in spite of best efforts to put your face close to the eyebrow scorching heat for the purposes of huffing and puffing to get the embers to glow".

There is a tipping point in the lighting process between abject failure and a rip roaring and perfect cooking medium. Again, a small teacup with about a centimetre of white spirit comes in handy as an encouragement to reluctant charcoal and if applied at an early stage there can be little or no persistent taint detectable in the taste of the food.

I feel part envy and part sadness for those with a high-tec powered barbecue range as everything is so clinical and controllable. Surely that takes away a good proportion of the challenge of having a cook-out but at least more or less guarantees that a palatable and sustaining meal can be produced.

The manageable heat output also gives much increased scope in the menu extending to the likes of chicken thighs and wings, pork or lamb chops and even the odd fish or bit of bivalve seafood.

The downside however is that the purpose built apparatus needs to be thoroughly cleansed and put away as opposed to the glorious value added feature of a disposable barbecue of, as the name suggests, just throwing it away.

Do check that the charcoal is fully extinguished before actual depositing it in a wheelie bin as the pungent aroma of melting industrial grade petroleum based polyethylene thermoplastic can produce a distinctive aftertaste which can rapidly diminish any pleasant gourmet experience associated with that perfectly outdoor cooked burger in a sesame seed topped bun.

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