Fobbed Off

Most places seem to have them nowadays but I just had to ask "Do you have Close Circuit Television monitoring your forecourt?".

The owner of the motor vehicle garage, through the partially opened sliding glass screen in his small office at the side of the workshop said that he did and gestured to something just out of my sight, presumably a monitor and recording machine.

If you are thinking about using a local garage for the first time for car servicing or repairs you may feel that this is as important a consideration as whether they are in a fair trade or good garage scheme or have not been too criticised on an on-line review site of which there are many for small independent businesses.

In my case the question was not part of the decision making process, in fact this was my third bit of patronage of the establishment in recent years.

The place is nestled on a bit of spare ground likely to have belonged at some time, if not still, to the Railways and the main vaulted roofed workshop is actually an infilled arch under an active rail freight line from the Port Docks westwards into the hinterland of Yorkshire and beyond. There are not many arches suitable for such use still around in this city, I can only think of one other location, coincidentally under a continuation of the same line but farther east.

The reason for my curiosity was borne not out of a concern to mitigate vandalism or deter inner city criminality which may or not involve my vehicle when on the premises but out of morbid embarrassment of what I had done on said premises just on the previous evening.

To explain;

I had dropped off my car on the previous morning, nice and early for its mandatory (being older than 3 years) annual MOT. The smallish forecourt can only take about half a dozen parked vehicles before the Proprietors have to use kerbside spaces in nearby streets.

My early-bird arrival ensured an easier drop-off and also my transition from motorist to cyclist which involved lugging my mountain bike out of the back of the car and putting on rain-gear and a rucksack with change of clothes and paperwork for my forthcoming day at the office.

Although before 8am the motor engineers were already grafting away and had been doing so from some unearthly hour given their good reputation which brought in a lot of local business for the six days a week that they were open.

I handed over the keys through the glass screen. They could have the car all day and I would try to bike back before they closed at 5.30pm.

If I was too late, which was probably guaranteed given the 8 mile ride from the office along riverbank path, through derelict docklands, the city centre, tracks along the course of discontinued railways and a mighty heap of broken glass and debris along the route I said that I would use my spare key and collect the car later on in the evening.

Fortunately my face was by now known by the owner and my offer, which I only realised later on for its foolishness, of letting them do the work and then driving off without payment seemed acceptable.

I suspect that it was not so much a matter of my honest appearance being my bond, as they say, but that he knew where I lived.

The day went broadly as planned apart from a soaking on the way to the office and the same prevailing conditions on the return after 5pm. Even the best knobbly bike tyres and a keen eye for that twinkling warning of broken shards of glass cannot always help in avoiding that ominous loss of pressure that means a dreaded puncture.

I was only about a half mile from the garage at the time of involuntary deflation but did not fancy hauling my damp self and muddy bike into a reasonably clean car and so made straight for home.

It was about three hours later that I found a spare car key, still on its pristine fob embossed with the original supplying dealer and putting on wet weather gear again I set off, this time on foot, for the garage.

It was a nasty night. Cold and drizzly but with a quick marching step I kept warm and covered the short distance rapidly.

The railway bridge that spanned the main road and overflew the workshop archway was just visible in the gloom.

My car was parked on the forecourt, bumper just inside the open plan pavement. In the rain, or as I call it, a Mexican Car wash, it looked pristine especially given  the passing glare of traffic on the busy main  road.

I stepped over the imaginary boundary line and made a 360 degree tour of the outside of the car.

I could not see an MOT Certificate on, for example, the drivers seat and so concluded that the garage owner was experienced enough not to give away anything without payment. Being self employed I could sympathise and respect  that but was disappointed that my demeanour was not, after all, as trustworthy as I thought.

I pulled out the spare key, or rather the remote control fob and pressed it.

Nothing happened.

There was no intermittent flash of orange from the indicators and hazards.

I pressed again.

Still nothing.

Perhaps the otherwise brand new fob needed activating, you know where there is a small tab to be extracted to activate the battery.

I could see nothing to pull.

It was a mystery.........or was it for the simple reason that it was the spare key for my wife's car of the same manufacturer?

By this time fatigue from the 16 mile round trip cycle plus that puncture and rain was making me a bit cranky.

I am not really sure in that state of mind but I believe that I may have danced around the parked car like a madman gesticulating with the key fob thing and expressing frustration at anything to do with machines, automation generally and specifically German car manufacturers.

All of this was in full sight of the road traffic and pedestrians , incidentally on one of the busiest routes to and from the city centre .Even on a dark,dank wednesday night there was a high level of footfalls , cars, buses, articulated supermarket supply trucks and vans.

My rant could have been for a mere few seconds or actually a bit longer before I realised the futility of it.

I slunk off into the night a bit embarrassed and not a little bit afraid of being scooped up by a Tactical Police Squad somewhere between the garage and my home. I kept to the shadows and used a few alleyway shortcuts, just in case any civic minded bus passenger or pedestrian had reported my evidently suspicious behaviour.

As for the likelihood of my Rumpelstiltskin type performance being captured on CCTV?

Well, the garage owner kept a dead pan face when I paid up the next morning but it could take say, ten years or so, for the footage to be aired on the likes of "You've been framed".

No worries there then.

Roof Space;The Final Frontier

One of my favourite daily-work  pursuits is going into a roof space.

This can involve a full upper body workout in scaling near vertical loft ladders, a breath-intake squeeze through a hatch which may not be compatible to your natural body shape, a dusty crawl through the back of a cupboard in a dormer bedroom or a balancing act and a leap of faith from the top of my own portable ladders.

These activities are normally undertaken in an empty property and I have often felt it necessary to let my office know that I am entering the void and to contact the authorities if they do not hear from me in about 20 minutes. If I forget to let them know I have reached the landing again it can be interesting.

The initial stare into the dark can be intimidating but also very exciting. A fumble around the edge of the hatch under torchlight may reveal the luxury of an electric light switch and even better if it is wired up to a working bulb or fluorescent strip. Otherwise, it is just a concentrated beam that sweeps the far extremities to determine whether I stray beyond the comfort zone of the top rungs.

In our very materialistic world the recesses of a loft provide a very useful storage facility for redundant technology, vinyl records, boxes of surplus clothes and books, indeed all the now unwanted trappings of a functional 21st Century family life.

Go back, even just 30 years and many homeowners will not have required to go into the roof space other than to lag the water tanks, lay some insulation, chase the trail of a mouse or fetch down the Christmas decorations. A further 20 years back and most households probably boarded up the hatch opening altogether as they had nothing to put in it.

It can often as not be the domain of the man of the house. In asking the lady of the house about the whereabouts of the roof access this is usually met with the response that it is upstairs somewhere and that she has never ever been up there as her husband looks after it. This is a prompt for me to expect a potential stash of pornographic or car magazines, a fully functioning and landscaped train set, mini-bar and a beloved collection of old love poems or letters from former girlfriends.

My colleagues in London tell me that they do not bother to drag around ladders for loft inspections because in the expensive real estate market of the Capital just about every such space has been converted for residential occupation. I am sorry for them as they will not be party to that excruciating pain of ascending an aluminium ladder in stockinged feet following the insistence of the property owners that shoes must be removed upon entering to protect the carpets. I tolerate it as a form of self-inflicted foot massage but with no commercial or therapeutic applications whatsoever. In fact, having glimpsed one of those physiological diagrams of the pressure points on a sole of the foot I am probably, unwittingly condemning my kidney and spleen to unwanted attention.

Where the loft is in use on a more regular basis for storage or even a leisure pursuit there is a stowaway ladder to tease into a down position.

Releasing the spring action or magnetic hatch gives a couple of seconds in which to decide whether to run for your life to avoid being skewered to the floor by a tarnished metal extending spike or to work out what make, model and type of action is required to get it to work.  I have come across some marvellously intricate versions in 1950's houses and bungalows. These would not look out of place extending from the fuselage of the First Class section of a De Haviland Comet. A smooth, hinged, articulated movement, somewhat creaky from lack of lubrication of key points but a quality piece of equipment. The whole contraption slides down effortlessly and is custom made for the ceiling to floor clearance. It is a pleasure to feel a good solid footfall.

In contrast the B&Q or Wickes two section ladder could be made out of recycled Pukka Pie trays. In between these two extremes there can be a real cause for concern. A hybrid ladder, part Empire Exhibition and part DIY once trapped my fingers above head height and I had to twist and contort my body to get above the pinch point to release myself. Another light and flimsy ladder just folded at the mid point when I was at the mid point which was, some months later, still not amusing.

The step off from the top of the ladder is critical. If there are roof timbers to grab onto that is helpful but this is not always possible. An original loft space does not present too many problems in that the ceiling joists are all visible and in a pre 1960's property of reasonable and sturdy cross section of wood. Cover up the same with thick quilted insulation, chipboard sheeting or the formica panels from old wardbrobes and conditions resemble a minefield.

Touch rafter but I have not, yet, in all my loft excursions had the misfortune to fall through a ceiling or put my foot through but statistically I am well overdue. Caution is the key word and to be aware of a faint creak, a springiness or an unexpected lower level on the chosen path.

Obstacles are many through the roof space either loose or stack-boxed personal belongings or the regular horizontal cross collars which can be hurdled over in slow motion or limbo-danced under. The former can result in splinters in the groin area, the latter a complete covering of dirt and grime and abrasion of my bald patch.

The main aim of the activity is to get to the far end of the void and work back through the mental checklist of inspecting the structural pieces that make up the frame and covering of the roof. Torch in one hand and the other seeking handholds in a shuffling motion gives no scope to avoid the full facial attack by cobwebs, some active, some just in use as a longer term larder of flies and moths. A most unpleasant feeling.

In one rural cottage I was mystified by a sense of something else with me in the roof space.

I turned off my torch and there was a faint disturbance of the stagnant, dust laden atmosphere but when swept with the beam there was nothing to see.

This went on for a few minutes. Dark and there was  movement, lit up just still. I speeded up the frequency of on/off lighting and finally caught sight of the bat. I had not been up close to one before. A black, leathery winged mouse. Cute really.

More damaging visitors are squirrels who can nest and wreak having by chewing through electrical cables, insulation and laggings as well as leaving half a forest in the eaves. The droppings of mice are to be avoided but it may take a handful and an inquisitive sniff to realise that infestation is present.

Many things can be completely forgotten if placed in a loft.

I have mentioned discoveries to the homeowners who have been fascinated by such things as old newpapers from the year the house was built, six bottles of vintage wine, shop signs from their old family business, a bicycle, mannequins, ancient suitcases and shipping trunks and those now rarely seen Tea Chests.

I hesitated to retrieve a dusty diary whose contents did appear to confirm that the writer knew that their Uncle Jack was carrying on with his brother's wife and was anguished about it being too much of a damaging family secret to disclose.

I left the diary concealed behind the water storage tank where I had found it. In due time and after that house had changed hands a few times it would be discovered and simply regarded as a memento of personal lives in more innocent  times and not at all worthy of a thirty minute, shouty and confrontational feature on the Jeremy Kyle Show

Classic Porch

A porch has had a part to play in the history of  British housing, or at least it used to.

In the Victorian era it was an opportunity to be ostentatious in ceramic tiling when such things were otherwise regarded as being a bit vulgar.

A well scrubbed and polished black and white or multi-coloured chequered floor was a step up from the traditional ox-blood painted plain concrete.

Terrazzo, an Italian inlaid floor, reminiscent of a Roman Tessare was a more expensive option.

On the inner walls of an open porch were bright and gawdy glazed tiles from the continent, mostly Dutch up to a raised glazed moulding below a gloss finished plaster panel on which further fibrous plaster covings could be positioned.

The 1970's and a period of escalating domestic fuel prices heralded the enclosing of the porch as a heat saving measure. Double outer doors were popular, typically with glazed upper and lower panes but negotiating these required a bit of a shimmy and deft step particularly if there was a reluctance to open up both at the same time.

Later developments in UPVC were quite bland except where Conservation Area or Listed Building Status dictated installation of a more sympathetic architectural style fitting.

Most contemporary porch structures affixed to modern housing tend to be more of a stick-on type appendage with little thought of visual empathy or even practicality.

In some cases, however, the design and construction of a porch can be a real work of art.

Take the example below, a treasure, a rare extravagance in crafted wood with slate roof, decorative bargeboards topped with a pointy ended wooden finial, herringbone panels,inset tiles and an unusual Mandarin type feature,  stained glass windows and to the recess a pair of bench seats for visitors to shelter if no-one is at home or for residents to enjoy a view of the tended garden and a glorious sunset at the end of the working day.

Now you see it........

You can easily pass by this front door, a fairly typical one to be found in a terraced street from the inter-war period, in this case from 1926, without a second thought as to what lies behind it or what stories it could tell of its succession of owners and occupiers.

One remarkable thing is that the door is all original having escaped ripping out and replacement with, in the 1970's a hideous aluminium fitting in a hardwood surround (Damn you, Everest Double Glazing) or more recently a fairly plain and featureless UPVC equivalent.

It is in a classic 1920's style with leaded and stained glass inserts and a look of solidity and security but at the same time being welcoming and homely.

Of course, the door glass can be easily broken if anyone is minded to do so and the slim wooden panels either side of the door will run wet in the winter from condensation.

If you look closely the whole frame is just that little bit out of alignment which can be attributed to early years settlement or, in this location in Hull, East Yorkshire, wartime damage.

Just inside the door are some wonderful door chimes, wired up and ready to announce visitors with a sonorous tone.

I seem to remember that my Grandparents may have had similar at their 1930's built house.

None of these multi-tune, populist anthem type chimes or synthetic electro- sounds but a good and melodious resonance that would make opening the door very exciting.

Off the hallway is a large glazed door.


This will have been a later alteration from the original solid panelled doors and probably regarded as quite high-tec and progressive at the time.

Of course, the glazing is very hazardous being of a non-safety grade type.

Another potential hazard by our present day perceptions includes lead paint which was widely used well into the 1960's.

A further door from the hallway leads to the
bathroom, the only one in the house.

It is a small room and in many similar houses has reverted to a living room with sanitary facilities relocated to the more preferred first floor position.

This door features an original leaded and stained glass panel.

The bath is really heavy cast iron and enamelled finished, the sort that could take all of the family in one sitting.

This one is in really good condition with no staining or chipped enamel, actually as good as new.

The splashbacks and tiles are also unblemished but such fittings and finishes are usually the first to go under new ownership.

It seems a bit strange following on with a living room after a bathroom but they are, after all, next to each other although not so aligned as to be able to sit in the tub and be warmed by the open fireplace or get a glimpse of the television.

The surround is more post war in style but again beautifully preserved and giving no indication that it will have been in use just about every day over the lifetime of the house.

The living room bay windows have kept their wooden frames and distinctive leaded glazing.

Looking closer, the small and fragile panes have fractured in places and under the influence of alternate heat and cooling there is quite a distortion to the upper light.

Amazingly, the window as with most of the others, is fully operational.

This kitchen unit will have been much admired by callers to the house.

A large combined unit, it will have been built as a DIY project by the man of the house or through a commission of a local joiner.

Nothing else is really required by way of storage with the upper lockers for dry goods, the sliding display cabinet for crockery and the shelving below for tins and all of the other domestic utensils, pots and pans.

This particular unit remains in authentic paintwork and is still well suited to everyday use.

On a brightish March day the roundels of coloured glass give an almost mystic illumination in the rooms of the house.

In the rest of the rooms much of the original decor is retained including dado and picture rails, Lincrusta papering and beneath the carpets quite a few layers of canvas or linoleum, lining sheets and old newspapers from the last forty years or so.

The house will, when built in 1926, have been more likely a rental than owned as letting was, in that era, the dominant form of occupation.

The Title Deed for the property refers to the developers and financiers as The Alexandra Land, Property, Mortgage and Investment Company and The Minerva Land, Building and Mortgage Co Ltd.


I may have gone a bit gooey-eyed at discovering this property today but I very rarely come across one in such a well maintained and preserved condition.

I am not so naive as to think that the almost museum like status will be preserved and indeed the people for whom I was inspecting the property had big plans to just eradicate anything old and give the whole place a modern and contemporary feel.

Perhaps I am guilty of seeing everything through rose tinted glasses- as they say.

That red stained glass gives a good effect.

From our Beverley Correspondent.

Breaking News; Blooming big part falls off character town house in Beverley, UK


27th March 2017
From the East Yorkshire Newsdesk

Part of a large ornamental embellishment  has fallen to the ground after breaking off the dormer projection of a prestigious house in the well thought of market town of Beverley.

No-one was injured but an area of about 1 metre square or in old money, 9 square feet around the 3 storey Building shows the point of impact and may have to be cordoned off if any spare string can be found in the kitchen cupboard. 

There can be clearly seen a dusting of red brick clay from the object which can be accurately dated from 1899. 

It fell to the ground, in fact onto the pathway of the neighbouring house at the side of the building some time over the preceding night. 

Weather conditions at the time were bright and clear and so the damage cannot be attributed to Storm Griselda or any other "so-called" adverse weather. Fake weather may have been to blame. 

A few chubby pigeons and a handful of belligerent seagulls are known to frequent the street and it is not beyond speculation that inattention by either species whilst on a fly-past could have been a loosening factor. 

Photographs illustrate the size of the fancy masonry which the homeowner likened to the Football World Cup (the one that replaced the old Jules Rimet when Brazil pocketed it after their historic hat-trick of wins in that tournament).

 

As big as an ugly baby's head

It is understood the item is are about the size of an ugly baby's head with knobbly features and the pediment underneath. 

Looking upwards the former mount for the object is still visible pointing into the sky like a forlorn Brian Cox, the popular stargazer and self appointed Guardian of the Galaxy. 

Lookalike World Cup

The spherical example of a Victorian brick makers artful skill is a bit fractured and wonky in appearance after its plunge to earth. 




One matching feature remains at the well to do property in a highly regarded residential street in the town. 

The underside of the lump of shaped clay suggests a previous repair and insertion of a metal rod to fix it to the apex of the house. Unfortunately standards in building have declined since the halcyon days of the late 19th Century and inferior materials and shoddy labour could have contributed. 

There are no plans, according to the homeowner, to reinstate the piece as it looks quite at home amongst the spring plantings in the front garden . There may be some mileage in promoting the site as a visitor attraction in future years. 

Nothing else has ever been reported to have fallen off the building although in the late 1970's some youngsters living at the house would often be seen leaning out at the precarious height gesturing at friends and acquaintances or trying to sober up rapidly after a bout of under age drinking. 

"There is no risk to the structural integrity of the building," was the opinion of the homeowners son, a so-called Surveyor, aged 53. 

"Public safety is our priority so we have taken a number of precautionary measures. We will keep the dog indoors and the homeowner, Margaret will be issued with a hard hat to be worn during gardening although the final colour is yet to be decided upon"

End.

Nooroz 2017

I know, I know....Nooroz was earlier this week ( in fact at 10.28am UK time on monday 20th) but it has taken a few days to get everyone and everything together to celebrate. Since first time of writing in 2015 a lot has happened in ours and the wider world. This year is extra special as it is the first Nooroz in the UK for Medhi's children with whom he was recently re-united after two plus years. Where I wrote about 5 participants in 2015 it is significant that in today's celebration there are 11 of us. 

The bright spots, burnt into my retinas from my foolish unprotected gawping at the full eclipse of the sun this morning, have only just about faded away.

The black disc of the moon was clearly visible through light cloud and although I was disappointed not to see mass hysteria and panic at the devouring of the sun by the ravenous celestial monster in the heavens it was quite a sight to behold nevertheless.

Next time around for the same phenomena I will be sure to have some heavy duty goggles which gives me 10 years to save up my loyalty points from Industrial Welding Supplies Inc.

It was a good precursor, however, for preparations to celebrate Persian New Year or Norooz (various other spellings are available) this evening under the cultural guidance of our Iranian friend Medhi.

We have enjoyed a total immersion into a different mindset through our friendship which has seen us enjoying the delicacy of sheep's head, cooking with saffron and many fragrant spices and herbs,discovering new tastes from huge parcels sent from Iran by Medhi's mother, eating a lot of crispy pan bottom cooked rice, drinking sophisticated blue flower tea and gallons of premium Persian tea laced with cardomom.

There will be five of us in Hull this evening joining the 300 million others around the world in a celebration of renewal and rebirth on what is the first day of Spring.

This is an ancient ceremony recognised by the United Nations as one of important cultural significance and first entering Persian historical records in the 2nd Century AD but even then already well established from 548 to 330 BC.

The marking of the Spring Equinox is rooted in  the Zoroastrian tradition and even attributed to Zoroaster himself.

The exact moment or Tahvil,  part of a 12 day festival, this year falls on March 20th in Tehran and in our hosts place in East Yorkshire, UK, later on in the evening.

In the run up to Norooz many religious traditions have come together and there are great gatherings and activities. One particular is the lighting of bonfires "Chahar Shan be suri",  to signify the shedding of old troubles and ill fortune and participants leap over the flames to get rid of their woes and troubles. Everyone takes part with a risk of bodily scorching or singeing but it is a joyous thing that is done.

On the night of Nooroz there is the laying out of a ceremonial table display known as the cloth of seven dishes or "Sofreh-ye haft sinn".

Gathered together are possessions of Holy Book, flowers and fresh shoots, bowl of goldfish, mirror, candles, painted eggs and seven foods all beginning with the Persian letter "S". The table stays dressed and laden for thirteen days of the festival.

To celebrate we have attempted to seek out as many authentic Persian items as possible in our home area and have had to venture further afield for the more problematic.

The main foods are;

Sabzeh- lentil, barley or wheat sprouts to signify renewal.

Samanu- a sweet pudding made from wheatgerm for affluence.

Senjed-the dried fruit of the lotus tree to represent love.

Sir-garlic for medecine and health.

Sib or apple for health and beauty.

Somaq-berries to act as sunrise and

Serkeh, vinegar for age and patience.

Much of this is ceremonial so traditionally a meal is served such as Sabzi Polo Mati comprising rice, herbs and fish.

At the end of the thirteen days there is "Sizdeh Bedar" meaning "getting rid of the thirteenth" and greenstuffs are thrown into rivers or lakes as a symbolic return to nature.

We, as hosts, will do our best to honour the sentiments and meanings of Norooz and by doing so learn yet more of the Persian heritage and way of life. Five of us will be attentive and thoughtful......I cannot say the same for the newly acquired Goldfish who seems a bit under-awed  by the whole thing.

(Actually written for 2015, our first participation in Nooroz)

King of Hornsea

I like a bit of a challenging trail when putting together a bit of writing.

Today's starts from a brief reference that I came across in the pages of an account of a 2014 Archaeological dig at a site on St Lawrence Street, York.

I am often stationary at the traffic lights right at that point which is a major junction just outside the defensive walls. There has been fairly frantic construction activity over the last 12 to 18 months  and the site is now under a large student accommodation block . The standard (for historic York) excavation process prior to the development unearthed a great and diverse range of items, mainly ceramicware from the Roman occupation of the city through the Anglo-Scandinavian era (Vikings), the Middle Ages and the following :

"Twelve sherds of unusual form were present, these clearly all originated from objects of a single design, but despite the number of sherds no single original object could be reconstructed. The sherds were from flat fish-scale shaped tiles stamped Wade & Cherrys Patent Hornsea on one site and are widely known as ‘acorn tiles’. 

The tiles are roofing tiles which were known as fish scale or acorn tiles, and they have a raised rim on the top half of the uppermost side of each tile which overlaps with a rim on the lower half of the adjacent tile. The design was aimed at reducing the area of overlapped tiles on the roof, and the rims were designed to hold the tiles firm on the roof"

The fragments for a product dating from the 1860's from the small East Yorkshire coast town of Hornsea were found in very auspicious company in the York excavations.

I was intrigued about the use of the descriptive terms as "unusual", "fish scale"and "acorn tiles" and this led me to recall that I had recently been working opposite a house in Hornsea which seemed to have all of the attributes of an unusual appearance and yes, the external walls were clad in what seemed like the scales of a fish.

The house occupies a prominent corner position overlooking the town Memorial Gardens, an ideal location to showcase its unique elevations.

Wade and Cherry's Tiles were an association of John Cherry, a brickmaker and who appears to have been the more flamboyant of the pairing, Joseph Armytage Wade referred to by the title of a book about him as "The King of Hornsea". This alludes to his championing of the town which included his support for the arrival of the railway line and various entrepreneurial enterprises.

Interestingly Wade and Cherry also appear in the records of the United States Patents Office for engineering inventions mainly it seems, pumping equipment which they needed to remove groundwater from their clay pits which were at the end of Marlborough Avenue, subsequently the location for the iconic Hornsea Pottery and now a shopping Freeport complex.

The York Archaeologists referred to the  sherds (fragments) as roofing tiles but in fact the clever design, each shaped something like the ace of spades, so that their form renders the amount of lap smaller than in ordinary tiles, were equally suited to vertical hanging on external walls.

Now to the science and technology of the design:

 "A flange, or raised rim, of dovetailed or under-cut section is formed on the top half of the uppermost side of each tile and on the lower half of the undermost side.This interlocks with two neighbours from the course above, and on the opposite face, again slightly chamfered or dovetailed, is a flange to fit with the lower course. This holds them firm, excludes wind and rain and makes render pointing unnecessary."

The Hornsea clays are a heavy boulder type originating, I believe, from the retreat of the glaciers at the end of the last Ice Age. Hornsea itself spreads our over a series of low hillocks or Moraines from this time in prehistory. The clay is well suited to both commercial products and fancy ceramics.

The York discovery suggests that Wade and Cherry distributed their distinctive tiles regionally if not wider afield. Urban regeneration, wartime damage and yet more demolition and clearance will have relegated many of the buildings clad or roofed in the wonderful acorn tiles to, at worst hardcore rubble and at best a corner of a reclamation yard.

These tiles are very much sought after today, and the best example thought to remain is situated at the corner of New Road and Westbourne Road, Hornsea.

I stop at giving an accurate address or infringing copyright and privacy with a photo. You have the clues as to what to look for and where, so just go.

Just as additional background. The aforementioned Joseph Armytage Wade also ventured into property development and in the 1860's, perhaps the height of his wealth and influence he bought land on both sides of New Road. He will have sold off the plots to individual purchasers and a Legal Conveyance dated 8 January 1879 made between (1) Joseph Armytage Wade and (2) Alfred Maw it seems, afforded an opportunity for Wade to sell off a good stock of the acorn tiles for the construction of the property in question.

Although not strictly specified in the small print there is a strong suggestion that any villa or house shall be built of good white or stock bricks or such other material as shall be mutually agreed on between the said Joseph Armytage Wade his heirs or assigns and the said Alfred Maw his heirs or assigns and which may be deemed by the said Joseph Armytage Wade not to be a disfigurement ".

He may have been the professed King of Hornsea but that Wade was quite a shrewd cookie as well.

Pevsner's book on The Buildings of York does refer to a 12th Century converted church, Old St Oswalds in Fulford as having a Wade and Cherry Acorn Tile roof and this would be worth a drive out some time. If anyone has any other sightings of the distinctive fish scale tiles I would be grateful. Perhaps there is a case for a geeky tile spotting movement.

City of Cultivation

The question occurs frequently.

What is my favourite bit of a house?

I admit to appreciating a nice bit of brickwork on a chimney stack, the subtle corbelling of courses at the top of a main wall, a classic brick bond pattern, some dressed stonework forming a header over a window or a door (with or without a Yorkshire Rose motif) , an authentic sash cord operated window, a slate bed damp course and fancy church window shaped airbricks.

However, if pushed to commit to an answer I would definitely opt for the roof space, loft, cockloft, roof void, attic or many of the other names for that interesting area.

If not developed into a habitable room or boarded out for hobbies or storage the aforementioned void can act as a bit of a time capsule hearkening back to the original period of construction.

I have come across some great details when those dark, dusty and cobweb bedecked spaces have become fleetingly illuminated by my torch.

Rustic poles forming the main structural support for an old roof can often be found, defying all principles of modern engineering. Straight from the tree these rough hewn boughs have assumed the loadings of the roof plus a couple of centuries of wind, rain and snow with the barest minimum of complaint and deflection.

Willow laths were used to underdraw old clay pantile roofs and these have also proven to be durable in spite of attack by rot, devay and insect.

The more substantial roof structures in post trusses are beautifully crafted and assembled and I have sometimes been known to follow the trail of carved Roman Numerals etched into the wood by the joiners as they re-assembled, on site ,the framework from an earlier dry run in their workshop.

Skilfully crafted joints and inserted dowel pegs are a joy to behold in their simplicity.

The sizing of timbers is interesting from obviously over-engineered rafters, purlins and collars from the 19th century through  to the latest computer designed factory formed trusses where the slimmest profile of timbers are specified with no human involvement.

A few builders and roofers have left their mark with scratched initials and a date on the party wall or chimney breast- a good proportion of these in my home city being testament to the 1940's repair work required during the devastating blitz of wartime.

It is therefore understandable how I can get quite excited over the prospect of a good roof space over even the  most mundane of properties.

I was therefore a bit disappointed this week when a loft hatch, anticipated to reveal a sturdy Post War Corporation Specification roof framework instead opened out onto, well, just a mess of seemingly random items.

Instead of an arrangement of wood and underfelt I was confronted by the sight of bamboo poles, green tying up string, various electrically operated fans, high intensity heat bulbs and a twisting network of shiny truncated metallic foil ducting.

These loft installed things did explain a few unusual features in the rooms of the house below.

Ceilings in the ground floor and first floor rooms had been very untidy with roughly applied patches which I initially attributed to some very poor wallpapering skills. There was a lot of hollow soundings to walls which I thought might be a crude attempt to soundproof onto the adjoining property which was in occupation as flats and therefore potentially noisy.

The house, I had been told was occupied by tenants but after having been let in by "a friend of a friend" as he described himself there were only the barest signs of habitation, a bed without legs, a solitary chair, albeit a bounteous  supply of Pot Noodles and an overriding odour of fustiness and moisture.

I am the sort of person who has experienced just about everything after 30 years of working in the property sector. I have an open mind when coming across lifestyles, personal practices, domestic arrangements, differing attitudes to domestic cleanliness and hygiene.

I like to think the best of people and especially as I may only spend say 30 minutes in their house in the context of the whole of their lives.

With both feet firmly planted on the top rungs of my ladder and beholding that strange assortment of seemingly random objects I realised that I had come across my first proper roof space drug cultivation project, either shortly to commence or being wound up after the harvest.

I had a quick glance through my legs, down the stairwell to see where the casual acquaintance of the occupier had got to but perhaps he was not aware, after all, of the cottage industry in the making.

I recalled a colleague in Scotland who had reported to the Police his finding of a large block of cannabis resin in a loft. His public spirited act gave him an all over warm feeling until he remembered that he had left his business card on a table in the hallway. I refused to walk next to him or take a ride in his car for some time after.....just in case.

I slid the grubby hatch cover back into position and made what I thought was a swift but reasonably nonchalant and dignified exit from the property.

That could have been the best roof of the week.... but I would never know.

A typical 1950's Corporation Roof....................

Don Draper's Grandad

The slick and sophisticated world of advertising and marketing as depicted in the episodes of "Mad Men" is actually nothing new.

It has been a fundamental trait of humans to promote themselves and their services in order to earn a living and attain the respect and admiration of their peers. The prehistoric cave paintings may have been a promotional tool for a mammoth hunting contract and ancient Egyptian symbols an attempt to entice the affluent citizens to buy something, or at least hire a glyphic.

Here are a few bits of advertisements from the late 1800's and first decade of the 20th Century found in the pages of brochures and programmes for agricultural shows and exhibitions in the English Midlands and North.

I am not sure that Don and his associates at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce could make these any better as for their era they are just simply on message.

Who said that hard hitting marketing campaigns were only from the modern consumer society?

An early rival to Coca Cola

Increasing awareness of Health Benefits for Pigs

A sort of headache pill for cattle

The 1880's equivalent to the iPhone Account

Sheep Dip - Because they're worth it

Sexing up the sale of Dairy Appliances

Early pioneering self storage 

Don Draper's Grandad could obviously teach him a few things about the hard sell to a discerning public.

Mills and Boon; Made in Hull

After yesterday's writing about the prominence of the Oil Feed Mills as an industry in Hull I found a few advertisements from manufacturers in the city.

These colourful prints will have been full page adverts in brochures and programmes for the large English County Shows and competitions which were events that attracted many thousands of people from the rural areas and towns in the mid to late 1800's.

Little is needed by way of description or explanation from these marketing marvels, many of them if not all, works of social commentary and commercial art in their own right.

 Waterloo Mills Co Ltd

Edwin Robson of Hull

Below is the reverse of this advertisement

The Classic Waterloo Cakes from Hull 

Made in Hull; Cakes

Waterloo Round Feeding Oil Cakes were a major product that was made in Hull and distributed nationally and globally.

It was part of the catalogue of products by the Waterloo Mills Cake and Warehousing Company Limited based in the Wincolmlee industrial and commercial district of Hull and manufactured for agriculture.

Above one hundred thousand tons were sent out under the learned testimony of a Doctor Augustus Voelcker, Consulting Chemist of the Royal Agricultural Society.

The description as a cake may seem unusual but aptly described the size and purpose of what was a mixed food for livestock, and specially adapted for young animals to bring them on strongly and healthily.

Product endorsements, although mainly by the company themselves went along the lines that "It is now almost universally admitted that in order to produce the greatest weight and best quality of meat in the shortest time a mixed food must be used and with this view the Patent Round Cakes have been introduced"

The Waterloo Round was patented in 1873-74 and the marketing literature for the company proudly boasted that "upwards of eight thousand prizes have been awarded to stock fed on them".

The 1886 Norwich Show brochure bore a full page advertisement for the product under the rather menacing and protectionist warning that "as there are now inferior imitations of these cakes in the market the public are cautioned to buy only such as bear the Waterloo Brand. None others are genuine".

Oil-cake is the residue obtained after the greater part of the oil has been extracted from an oilseed. Oil-cakes are rich in protein and most are valuable food for farm animals. The typical composition of selected oil-cakes is

Much of the ingredients were readily sourced from around the globe and shipped to the major east coast Port of Hull where a number of processing and manufacturing industries were established and became household names during the nineteenth century.

Oil-cake from large-scale oil mills was often an ingredient of compounded animal feeds. Some seeds, such as castor beans, yield oil-cakes unsuitable for direct incorporation into animal feed as they contain toxic substances.

No secrets were given away in the advertisements but Dr Voelcker was rolled out with more endorsements. "I am glad that you make no mystery about the ingredients of your Waterloo Round Cakes and that the various feeding materials of which the cake is composed are all well known articles of food and of the best quality procurable" and"The high appreciation of the merits of your Round Waterloo Cake by practical feeders and fatteners of stock, I take it, is mainly due to its uniform composition, its fresh condition and prime quality of all of the foods which are used in the preparation of the cake. These feature favourably distinguish the Waterloo Round Cake from similar compound feeding cakes"

The skyline of Hull was for many years dominated by the factory buildings associated with Oil Mills but only one or two have survived. The silos and warehouses had little alternative uses, fell into obsolescence and were demolished to make way for industries of the modern era.

The Waterloo logo was widely recognised as an important export from Hull and contributed to the collective wealth of the city in its halycon era.

Waterloo Mills Cake and Warehousing Company Limited will have done a lot of business at "Present Price £7 5s per ton and free on Rails at Hull.

Go West!

In 1886 the following advertisement was to be found in the Catalogue of The Royal Agricultural Society on the occasion of their Norwich, Norfolk meeting which took place over the five days commencing July 12th.

The event was a major social gathering over and above the main purpose of competing for prestigious prizes in livestock and produce.

It was also a focal point for those employed in agriculture although unlike in earlier times there was no category by which stockmen, shepherds, bee keepers, gamekeepers and their working families could market their services to prospective new masters and mistresses.

By this period of the 19th Century the numbers of those who gained their principal income from agriculture had dwindled significantly as a consequence of mechanisation and a drift by the workforce towards the rapidly expanding towns and cities where there were many more, although not necessarily easier ways to earn a living.

There were great opportunities for those who wanted or felt they had no other option than to migrate to the Americas or father afield in the Commonwealth.

One such destination under the lure of "Free Grants of Land" was in the nearest British Colony  of Canada.

This new and exciting land was reachable by the shortest sea passage to America, in an average of under nine days.

Land parcels of 160 acres were on offer to those given to settlement in the great wheat producing prairie lands of Manitoba and the Canadian North West. After disembarking from the Atlantic crossing it was a case of traversing the vast distances by the Canadian Pacific Railway which had only started up a year or so earlier.

Amongst the 200 millions of acres available under this promotion there was some small print to the effect that "further quantities can be purchased on reasonable terms". It was not just Manitoba that sought new enterprising and hard working farmers as grants of between 100 and 200 acres were also on offer in the other Provinces of Canada.

The beauty parade and land enticement was targeted at tenant farmers and others with moderate means who had thought about engaging in agriculture but would never had had the chance to acquire freehold land in the British isles where a small and elite class held a disproportionate amount of the rural areas.

Improved farms, suggesting that earlier pioneers had tried and failed were advertised with comfortable dwellings and out-buildings in Ontario, Quebec, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Prince Edward island and British Columbia from three pounds to twelve pounds an acre.

If anyone felt homesick then they were reminded that all of this promised land was within only a few days journey of Great Britain.

Those with money to invest were attracted by excellent opportunities for their capital. Assisted passages were granted by the Canadian Government to key workers such as agriculturists, farm labourers and their families and domestic servants.

Persons seeking a new life and livelihood in any part of America or elsewhere were advised to read, before a decision was made, the reports by Professors J P Sheldon and W Fream, from the College of Agriculture, Downton, Salisbury and of Professor Henry Tanner, Director of Education under the Institute of Agriculture, South Kensington, London and the Guide Books published under the authority of the Imperial and Dominions Governments.

These reports and other literature contained such basic information as maps, guidance on related financial issues, advantages offered to farmers, land regulations, demand for labour, rates of wages, cost of living, assisted passages and were available for every class of enquirers, gratis and post free on application to The Offices of the High Commission for Canada or Agents of the Canadian Government whose offices could be found in Liverpool, Glasgow, Belfast and Dublin.

It was not all however a case of the grass looking greener as Canada was still very much a frontier country in the last quarter of the nineteenth century.

People in major Canadian cities were often plagued by malnutrition and disease. In 1885, Montréal had the highest death rate, at 54.25 deaths per 1000 people, “owing to the violent attack of small-pox from which the city suffered in 1885, there having been no less than 3,193 deaths from that disease.”

Throughout Canada, young children were most vulnerable to malnutrition and disease—53.71% of those that died in 1885 were less than 5 years of age. Causes of death included premature birth, smallpox, malnutrition, lung disease, diarrheal affections, diphtheria, cerebro-spinal and throat diseases, and circulatory system diseases.

Immigration declined from 1883 to 1886, from 133,624 to 69,152 people. More immigrants were choosing to settle in the United States than in Canada.

In 1885, 75% of the 105,096 people who arrived in Canadian ports settled in Canada. In 1886, the percentage dropped to only 56% of the 122,581 people who arrived in Canadian ports.

It would be, to the good folk of Norwich, a difficult choice to make however their existing situation and prospects.

Skegness; Capitalist Playground?

I found this wonderful wording in the loose pages of an Estate Agent's broadsheet brochure amongst my collection of old property sales which date from the early 19th Century until the mid 20th. It shows a certain flamboyance in description and quite a licence to wax lyrically about the seaside town of Skegness, or Skeggy on the Lincolnshire Coast.

Unfortunately any means to identify the specific address or location to which it refers is missing as only 3 rather yellowing and fusty smelling pages have survived. Sadly, the writer also remains anonymous. I hope that his or her talents were not wasted solely on penning sales details.

The only clues are the brief mention of the sale being subject to the residue of a 99 year lease from the 6th April 1879 and with two grandly named parties, Cecil George Assheton Drummond as occupier and Henry Vivian Tippett, Land Agent of Skegness.

Skegness is situate on the southern section of the Lincolnshire Coast. 

The North Sea stretches away to the East and North East. To the South East the high land of the Norfolk Coast line is quite visible. 

Nature has been lavish in her bounteous treatment of this delightful resort, and long before Science and Architecture began to assist in its adornment and development, Skegness had distinguished patrons from all parts among whom in his boyhood days was the late Lord Tennyson. 

Miles of beautiful sandy beach, quite firm and safe, provide a charming natural Promenade for adults and a playground for children. The tide twice in the twenty four hours like a steam roller levels and smoothes the surface of the beach and leaves it delightfully fresh and full of salt when upon which old King Sol throws his benign rays and produces that delightful, mysterious, energising, health giving something called "Ozone" which gives this place its magic power of invigoration and recuperation. 

The Golf Links of no mean order have been established at Seacroft, about one mile away. An 18 hole Links runs along the Sand Dunes towards Gibraltar Point, which now enjoys the reputation of being among the best sporting Links in the country and in in the hands of and managed by a strong club. The hard worked City business man journeys to Skegness and does his round of the Links on the glorious Sand Dunes in a bracing and salubrious air and returns a new man.

The Cricket Ground near the railway station is about nine acres in extent and is believed to be as nearly level as any ground in the country. There is a constant flow of matches through the season. It is adorned by rows of pine and sycamore trees forming a border. There is also a capital cycle path encircling the ground, 2 and a quarter laps to the mile. The Pavilion is on the west side with convenient dressing rooms and a refreshment buffet also a good covered-in ladies gallery. 

The Pier is perhaps one of the finest erections of its kind in England; it is 614 yards long, stretching across these lovely sands into the sea and at the eastern end of which there is a spacious pavilion, concert room, etc. The visitor has the selection of the Promenade upon the pier or at the sea end of it he can quietly sit and enjoy a view of the ever changing restless sea. 

A Steamer runs from the Pier to Grimsby, Cleethorpes, Hunstanton, Cromer, etc. Sailing and rowing boats are there in abundance. 

Sanitation. The energetic Urban District Council of this resort has been well and scientifically advised, and has not been afraid to call upon the Ratepayer for a sufficiency of funds to construct and produce a system of drainage which is pronounced to be most thoroughly up to date and complete.
Water. The Earl of Scarborough has just provided a new supply of water for the town by sinking a well to a great depth at Welton le Marsh, where he has succeeded in tapping the same strata from which an abundant supply of the same pure beautiful water is obtained as the famous Willoughby Water which proved such a boon and joy to Lincoln during her period of trial. It is pumped into a reservoir on the high hill at Welton and gravitates to Skegness. 

Skegness is near to the charming undulating woodlands of the Wold Country. Tennyson's famous Somersby is within driving distance. The town of Spilsby-of Franklin notoriety-is also near. Skegness and District abounds in copy for the journalist and poet. 

As these are Sales Particulars only, we leave the rest and return to the property we are offering which affords the Capitalist or the person desirous of finding a centre to which the busy man and his family may be attracted and enjoy the advantages of the finest beach, sea and bracing climate in England.

Bracing, Breezy, Sunny Skegness. 

The clues provided by the named parties are enough for a bit of research suggesting that the property was potentially the whole of the site of The Pleasure Gardens, Seashore and Cafe Dansant in Skegness and bordered by South Parade, The Grand Parade and North Parade and what was being advertised for sale was a Building Lease. In the mid 1800's Skegness was a small fishing village but largely due to the Earl of Scarborough and his Land Agent, the previously mentioned Henry Tippett a master plan was drawn up for large scale development.

As the photographs show the grand scheme was built through making Skegness the pre-eminent resort town on the Lincolnshire Coast within reach, by rail, of the major urban and industrial regions of the English Midlands.

I would be pleased to hear from anyone with more background information about what was obviously an interesting property opportunity in good old Skeggy.

One man and his dog

According to a study by researchers at the auspicious Oxford University in league with the Consultants Deloitte there will be a potentially significant shift in employment over the next twenty years.

Based on my experience of the last twenty years what else could we expect, what with the decimation of traditional heavy industries, redundancies in previously thought jobs for life and even a thinning out of the Professions.

The latest research predicts that more than a third of current jobs in the United Kingdom are at risk of being taken over by a robot.

I am not surprised by this. My generation were brought up with vivid Science Fiction visions of a robot race. The Laws of Robotics gave some comfort although these were of course only in writing and any robot dead set on mischief would surely overlook these . Scary and  sobering a though it was although balanced out by the exciting prospect that if this worse case scenario did not occur then our lives would be so much easier thanks to a subservient robot population doing all of the boring chores and daily tedium.

Artificial Intelligence has developed at lighting speed in my lifetime and seemingly with an even more rapid pace in just recent years. The robots of my childhood were clunky and chunky, a bit like dustbins with fairy lights but gradually these came to be more humanoid in shape, dimensions and behaviour even back to the Cybermen on Doctor Who and now with a very lifelike demeanour and attitude.

The Oxford University academics Michael Osborne and Carl Frey calculated how susceptible to automation each UK job is based on nine key skills required to perform it;

social perceptiveness,
negotiation,
persuasion,
assisting and caring for others,
originality,
fine arts,
finger dexterity,
manual dexterity and
the need to work in a cramped work space.

The research was originally carried out using detailed job data from the United States O*NET employment database. The analysis for UK jobs was made by adapting the findings to corresponding occupations in the UK based on Office for National Statistics job classifications. For the purpose of the UK study, some US occupations were merged. In these cases, the probabilities were calculated as weighted averages of the probabilities of automation for each US occupation within the group.

Some job names have been edited for clarity. Where average salary has been mentioned, the median has been used. Figures are not available for occupations in the military, or for politicians. This may excite the conspiracy theorists. If robots did take over not only our jobs but our lives then an army would be needed to destroy them and politicians to well,.....I'm not really sure about their role in such a scenario.

So who are the potential losers, the fairly safe and those whose jobs remain firmly in human hands?.

Social workers, nurses, therapists and psychologists are among the least likely occupations to be taken over as assisting and caring for others, which involves empathy, is a crucial part of the job.

Roles requiring employees to think on their feet and come up with creative and original ideas, for example artists, designers or engineers, hold a significant advantage in the face of automation.

Additionally, occupations involving tasks that require a high degree of social intelligence and negotiating skills, like managerial positions, are considerably less at risk from machines according to the study.

Your job is safer if you negotiate, help others or come up with original ideas.

In contrast, while certain sales jobs like telemarketers and bank clerks may involve interactive tasks they do not necessarily need a high degree of social intelligence, leaving them exposed to automation.

As more advanced industrial robots gain improved senses and the ability to make more coordinated finger and hand movements to manipulate and assemble objects, they will be able to perform a wider range of increasingly complex manual tasks.

However, manipulation in unstructured environments — like the tasks that must be performed by a house cleaner — are still beyond the scope of automation for the foreseeable future.

Sophisticated algorithms are challenging a number of office and administrative support roles, particularly in legal and financial services.

Machines are already beginning to take on a number of tasks carried out by legal professionals by scanning thousands of documents to assist in pre-trial research.

It is said that the factory of the future will employ just one man and one dog. The man is there to feed the dog. The dog is there to bite the man if he fiddles with the robotised machines.

Office outing of the future

As for my own job. Well, I had better start digging that bunker and stockpiling supplies for my new role as Chartered Surveyor to the Human Struggle against the robot masters. After all, it is predicted that I may have a lot more time on my hands.

Take the test.......http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-34066941  I await your call to join me.

(First written in January 2016)