Iggy Pop

In the artificially induced sub tropical temperatures of Hull there is a grumpy Iguana.

Before anyone hearkens on about global warming it is important to explain the previous sentence.

It is a hot, humid and oppressive atmosphere but not unusual for the interior of a beautiful glazed building that is the Victorian Conservatory in Pearson Park, Hull.

The Iguana, called George, is one of if not the best loved reptile in the City having been in residence for a good proportion of his 16 years (about 80 years old in human terms) apart from a mysterious twelve month exile to a park facility in the east of Hull.

George is a large lizard. Sticky out tongue to tip of tale he measures about two metres and in his senior years his original bright green scales have mellowed in to pearlescent sheen of rainbow colours, almost fluorescent in tone and hue. Apt for the city is his black and amber striped tail which is in the colours of the Premier League Club.

Visitors to his smallish enclosure greet him like the old friends they are and he acknowledges by bobbing his proud head up and down. In the natural environment of his home territory which could have been anywhere between Mexico to Paraguay, Brazil to the islands of the Caribbean this movement of the head would mean many things to other Iguana's. It could be a challenge to another male intent on intruding onto his turf or a cheeky come-on to a female.

In Hull the same ritualistic nodding probably equates to "Now then, nice to see ya" or a similar sentiment.

His caged surround include a wooden open sided bed area with a deep and warm-looking layer of bark chippings, a large tree bough on which he lounges comfortably although precariously for his size, a recess with brackish water and a large stainless steel feeding bowl containing a rough cut vegetable and fruit mixture. He is a herbivore, no doubt resisting any foodstuffs squeezed through the mesh by well meaning, adoring but misguided fans.

He must secretly revel in his confinement as in the wild habitat of the South Americas he is the prey of birds and the locals have also enjoyed his species as a staple of their diets for the last 7000 years. As reported in terms of familiarity with most creatures an Iguana tastes just like chicken and has been referred to as Bamboo Chicken.

George does not move about much unless he falls off the tree trunk in a moment of inattention or where the counter balance of his tail fails. In a constant temperature of 75 to 80 degrees Fahrenheit he is probably best advised to stay still and keep cool.

His social interaction has been rather limited but in recent days he will have sensed, through smell, sound and the reaction of his regular visitors the presence of another of his species in the building.

George is getting on a bit and someone in Parks and Gardens is obviously lining up a successor in anticipation of his sad demise.

Then new Iguana is a bright green female, bred in captivity and purchased by the City as an addition to not only George but the tropical fish tanks, Australian bearded dragons and impressive canopy of broad leaved equatorial plants.

It is important to emphasise that the female is not at all a partner or mate for George.

The Iguana is a fiercely territorial creature and the two, although neighbours, will not ever meet.

There will be no coming together to produce little Iguanas-that is clear.

They will however be expected to form a double act for visitors and the process has an essential component- the naming of the female.

Pink Post-It Notes and an unreliable ball point pen invite suggestions from the visitors. The range and derivation of potential names is diverse to reflect the multi-cultural and eclectic composition of the population of Hull.

Historical figures put forward have included Martha, the wife of George Washington and Betty, the spouse of General George Custer.

Sportsmen have contributed Angie (Mrs George Best) and Mary Joan Foreman, wife of the former boxer and grill specialist.

Films and Entertainment suggestions have included Amal, the new Mrs George Clooney and Mellody the partner of George Lucas.

Literature is topical as Philip Larkin lived just opposite the Victorian Conservatory and Sonia Orwell has been scribbled down by some academic type (although George Orwell was born Eric Blair).

Perhaps put forward by an American tourist is Barbara, the constant companion on State business for George Bush Senior.

Fictional characters have also figured with Judy in the running, wife of the animation favourite George Jetson.

I am sitting on the fence a bit in my favourite for the naming ritual.

Close up the lurid green Iguana is not a pretty sight. Her loose jowly skin hangs down and flaps in the slightest vibrational movement. There are large black rings around her beady eyes. There is a certain tiredness in her demeanour. She is a bit Old School as Iguana's go.

That makes the naming easy......Mildred, as in George and Mildred in the 1970's sit com. It all makes sense. I can only apologise with all due respect to Yootha Joyce who made that role her own but the resemblance is uncanny.