Coastal Erosion.

I am very well qualified to provide an up to date report on the current state of the Holderness coastline, the fastest eroding in Europe.

My credentials are not academic, scientific or geographic.

I have not augured the boulder clay or carbon dated the glacial deposits.

I cannot profess to knowing the actual physical forces promoting the saturation and slump of the soil.

I have not sat in a precariously balanced clifftop chalet whilst a lifetimes collection of garden ornaments tumble into the North Sea to emerge millenia later as fine particles forming a new stretch of beach at Clacton.

My experience, well it is from parking up on a work day and falling asleep at, in turn, every one of the current cul de sac roadways terminating at the cliffline.

Only just today I revisited Ulrome, a wonderful spot just at the southern cusp of Bridlington Bay and with a sweeping eyeline view out to the Flamborough Head lighthouse. The keepers of the light must feel really smug on their chalk plug of a headland whilst their near neighbours and brethren towards Spurn Point struggle to retain a foothold in England.

The Ulrome resting place is fast diminishing. No expensive or extensive coastal defences are warranted unless you staunchly defend the right to see a plastic Walls Ice Cream flag stiffly flapping as a guarantee of a good British seaside holiday. The cafe owners at Ulrome have optimistically claimed the top of the cliff for a seating area for customers but have they not realised that it takes less and less visitors every day to reach full occupancy.

I suspect that on a very blustery and showery monday, today, it is more a time to re-arrange the stock than be run off your feet serving snacks.

The strength of the wind, in rocking the car gently made for a good power-nap.

I can also recommend the parking area and viewpoint at Mappleton for a restful break. This is a fairly recent venue occupying an elevated position above the massive imported granite rock reef which is intended to protect the strategic, as in the only, road, south of Hornsea.

It is amusing to keep half an eye and one ear open and alert to the comings and goings of visitors to the car park ,not for the sake of people watching but to avoid being blown up with the enthusiastic retrieval and display of corroded and unstable ordnance from the adjacent Cowden  Beach live firing range.

I remember that tuesdays in the 1980's was air attack day with coastal strafing by A10-Tank Buster aircraft. Having observed the pitifully poor aim and deployment of missiles and heavy rounds by the US Army Air Corps on such days I am not surprised on the wide availabilty of cold war memorabilia.

My favourite location for a snooze and peruse is Tunstall a bit further south.

This is a positively cosmopolitan and hectic environment with a large and well patronised static caravan park, facilities and a boat compound.

My late Father in law, George ran a cobble fishing boat out of Tunstall and I can certainly appreciate the attraction of the place.

The Holderness coast may be fast receding, some 3 miles and many rural hamlets have disappeared to the sea since the Doomsday Book, but it does have two dominant factors in abundance- a lot of sea and a very big sky.

I find these things very therapeutic and cannot help but drift off in their presence.

I am comforted by my calculation that if I park seventeen and a half  feet from the current precipice I have at least a full year of undisturbed sleep with no worries of being roughly deposited on the sandy beach below ,car and all.