Thursday 4 August 2016

Order and Chaos

The following is a list of Laws that have at some time been enacted or remain on the Statute Books across the 50 States of the Union in the USA. I cannot vouch for their validity of truthfulness as I have relied on an unknown source for them but found them appealing being either hilarious, anachronistic or downright ridiculous. They are in an alphabetical order as far as their State origins are concerned and each of the 50 is represented although some have more than one entry. It may be possible to accurately guess the State from the theme and tone of the laws.

It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
No one may tie their pet dog to the roof of a car.
There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
It is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.
You may only throw a frisbee at the beach in Los Angeles County a lifeguard’s permission.
Women may not drive in a house coat.
A man can’t go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
It is illegal to permit ones llama to graze on city property.
You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.
No person shall pretend to sleep on a bench on the boardwalk.
Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.
It is illegal to sell your children.
No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday
Coins are not allowed to be placed in one’s ears.
You may not fish on a camel’s back.
You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.
Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
One-armed piano players must perform for free.
Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.
The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.
If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.
It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.
“Fake” wrestling matches are prohibited.
Spectators at a boxing match may not mock one of the contestants.
One could possibly land in jail for 20 years upon urinating in the city’s water supply.
Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.
You may not step out of a plane in flight.
It’s illegal to take a lion to the movies.
It is a park rule violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt.
At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
The last Sunday in June of every year was named log cabin day
It is illegal to sleep naked.
All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts.
Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.
Though clotheslines are banned, clothes may be draped over a fence.
It is illegal to teach others what polygamy is.
In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.
If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.
It’s still “legal” to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.
It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder.
Nudity is allow, provided that male genitals are covered.
Women may walk in public topless provided they have their nipples covered.
It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun.
The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
It’s against the law to sing off key.
Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.
While having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled.
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
Beer and pretzels can’t be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon.
It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.
It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance.
It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone to pretend to have sex with a buffalo.
Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.
One may not test their physical endurance while driving a car on a highway.
It is illegal to place a container filled with human fecal matter on the side of any highway.
Babies may not be carried on the running boards of a car.
A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish.
It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley.
It is illegal to display a confederate flag on a courthouse.
No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
Movies that show police officers being struck or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.
If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them.
It is a crime to share your Netflix password in Tennessee.
One must acknowledge a supreme being before being able to hold public office.
It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.
It is illegal not to drink milk.
It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon.
Birds have the right of way on all highways.
All residents shall bathe every Saturday night.
It is illegal to tickle women.
It is illegal to attach a vending machine to a utility pole without prior consent from the utility company.
No person may walk about in public if he or she has the common cold.
Roadkill may be taken home for supper.
It is a class A misdemeanor to wave a burning torch around in the air.
It is illegal to throw rocks at a railroad car.
It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.
You may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April without an official permit.
Skiing under the influence of alcohol is prohibited.

Source; The Dumb Network;

Big Government. Small Brains. Dumb Laws.


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