English Lesson 19

So, already we are at the letter "S" in the compilation of definitions of English Words from the BBC Radio Series "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue" which has been producing such nonsense since 1972. The definitive list has been the labour of love of Kevin Hale, a Superfan of the show and I have dipped in and out of it shamefully exploiting his hard work.

The words and definitions are confusing enough and I apologise, again, to any Students of the English Language amongst my readers for adding mayhem and misdirection to their struggle.

There is, understandably, some political incorrectness and a lot of toilet humour present but please remember that the words and meanings do date back some considerable years to an era when people just spoke their mind with no sympathy or empathy for the offence that may have been caused at the time and subsequently.

I like to think that we are better for the experience of such things and much more in tune with others. S is a particularly prolific letter.

Saxophone- hotline to a major salt producer

Shambolical- padded underpants 

Sanctity - droopy bosom

Sycamore- not as well as I used to be

Sweet Trolley- the art of seduction of Trolls

Stylist- directory of pigs

Stalactite- drunken prisoners of war

Shingle- Sean Connery's opinion of what a bachelor is

Scooby Doo- responsible dog owner

Supercede- sperm sample from Clark Kent

Spectacular- a short sighted vampire

Shellfish- a bit like a shelf

Shampoo- a fake literary bear

Suffocation- a holiday in Lowestoft

Superfluous- we went on holiday with super airlines

Sycophant-much prefer Dec

Splinter- Chinese 100m athlete

Subjudice- Israeli underground railway

Synagogue- that look on seeing porn for the first time

Scum- it has arrived

Sex- what the Queen gets her coal delivered in

Shitzu- a crap animal park

Stifling = country dancing for Scottish pigs

Shrewd- a rude shrew

Sorcerer- even more than a saucer

Surcharge- cash for questions

Scullery- a place for head hunters to keep their trophies

Stalagmite- a prison for fleas

Shamrock- a polystyrene boulder

Skid Marks- racing driver brother of Groucho

Secular- junk mail in Liverpool

Satire- lots of cushions

Sewage- payment for a lawyer

Scandal- footwear to be ashamed of

Substitute- underwater hooker

Satellite- setting fire to your bum

Sedate- but meant nine

Shallot- no more onions

Shambles- imitation brambles

Star Struck- transport for the stage show of Kylie Minogue

Stopcock- condom

Strawberry- a grass hat

Smirks- cigarettes in Newcastle

Semolina- signalling with a pudding

Systematic- a robot nun