A failure rate at 67% is, in my opinion,an indication that something is not really viable or sustainable and should be stopped immediately. Unfortunately, such a pitifully poor statistic can only be judged in hindsight.
More unfortunate is the fact that from 1914 to 1918 the specific statistic was being generated by the 115 Zeppelins of the German military. A total of 77 craft were shot down, crashed or otherwise terminally malfunctioned but not before they had terrorised the civilian population of the UK in the first incidences of aerial attack in what became known, much later in the second global conflict, as Total War.
Count Von Zeppelin had been pioneering large airships and their application to military use in the late 1800's and with the first progression from patented blueprint to actual airborne prototypes as early as 1900.
A bit cumbersome, quite unpredictable to manoeuvre and very volatile in their hydrogen fuel inflation there must have been some scepticism from the authorities about their practical use.
However, in the early stages of the first world war they were very highly regarded for reconnaisance over the front lines and for a few silent forays and bombing missions over Paris and other allied targets. The time was right for an otherwise prominent, ponderous and highly flammable blimp as neither small arms fire from the trenches, anti-aircraft fire or pursuit aircraft were sufficiently advanced or potent to constitute a threat .At an operating height of around 3000 feet and propulsion speeds of 85 mph nothing could touch the imposing Zeppelins. It was therefore a natural strategic decision to use the airships in a much more offensive role.
The Kaiser did not want London to be bombed from the air or at least there was a strict directive not to inflict damage on any of his favourite and historic buildings in the capital. Next choice for the onslaught of the first aerial assault on mainland England was, strategically, Hull, an important east coast Port within good range.
The first mass Zeppelin raids were commenced in early to mid 1915 . Adverse weather and winds prevented the primary target being reached. Hull had a reprieve but Great Yarmouth was bombed and recorded the first home fatality of bombardment from the air.
It was not long before Hull resumed its infamous label as the most attacked city, by Zeppelins, outside London.
The silent menace of the airships was both sinister and terrifying for the civilian population of Hull. The Zeppelins would leave their mooring masts and hangers at dusk, head across the North Sea and make landfall on the east coast in the early hours of the morning. The combination of darkness, cloud induced invisibility and the prospect of a torrent of high explosive bombs and incendiaries caused many citizens to stay outdoors in public open space and parks for the peak threat periods.
The prospect of after-dark attacks led to the description of these hours as 'Buzzer Nights'.
One documented account of a typical attack illustrates the rising tension and fear.
Zeppelin Raiders had been spotted in the North Sea at 7.25pm. A blackout was ordered in Hull at 9.30pm. The first airships appeared over the town of Hedon, 5 miles to the east of the city at 11.47pm. In the subsequent slow and circling bombing run from 3000 feet altitude a total of 32 devices were dropped with a loss of life and widespread devastation to buildings and infrastructure. The Ordnance was intended for maximum destruction by explosive impact or a firestorm. Canisters containing the explosive Thermite mixed with tar and benzol were most effective to set buildings alight.
The target areas of the extensive docks, wharfage ,warehouses and the centre of the city were also close to or inclusive of dense areas of terraced housing and many women and children were killed. A poster and propaganda campaign showed a searchlight captured Zeppelin under the title of 'The Baby Killer'. The largest Parish Church in England (almost a cathedral) , Holy Trinity, Hull narrowly escaped destruction after the adjacent Edwin Davis Department Store, only 27 feet away collapsed under incendiary attack (This prompted their relocation to Bond Street),
The people of Hull, under the menace of attack expressed anger at the apparent lack of civil defence measures of either land based guns or interceptor aircraft. More socially disruptive was a very unhelpfully devisive campaign by the Hull Daily Mail newspaper speculating that residents of the city with German origins may be signalling to,or assisting in target spotting for the Zeppelins. A number of longstanding family run shops and businesses of settled German migrants, now British citizens,were attacked by small ,angry mobs. This was widely condemned by the vast majority of the population as the work of mindless thugs. The air raid sirens were frequent from June 1915 to the summer of the following year.
Such was the arbitrary nature of the wind and weather in the flight planning of the raiders that Hull was on alert even if not the main target. It was easy for the Zeppelins to follow the course of the Humber immediately south of Hull to reach the Midlands and as far west as Liverpool. The looming mass of an airship in proximity to the city even en-route elsewhere must have instilled great fear and trepidation. The burgeoning statistics of failure for the Zeppelin fleet did prompt developments in technology to try to offset the high losses of men and machines. The L-designated models of the first attacks were replaced by successive M and P Class models, the former with 6 engine propulsion, a ceiling height of 13,000 feet and bomb carrying payload of 4 tons.
Another well documented attack on Hull took place in early March 1916. This involved 3 of the P Class Zeppelins. Captain Scheutze commanding L-11 had originally intended to attack the naval shipyards at Rosyth near Edinburgh but was driven south east. The weather was atrocious with snow storms, dense snow and ice bearing clouds and swirling winds which at 54mph largely checked any chance of progress by the straining engines. The gondola slung under the gas filled balloon was icing up and inhospitable to Captain and crew. Unable to control the craft in such conditions the Captain contemplated abandoning the mission. After discounting Middlesborough, the tertiary target of Hull was considered. Navigation by sight, usually following the course of railway lines was difficult and L-11 could have been anywhere along the eastern side of England. Then a series of explosions were spotted through a break in the cloud cover. The sister P Class airships had found their default targets in Hull. The Captain completed his objective.
A later attack by 9 Zeppelins in the August of 1916 caused a further 9 deaths, again predominantly defenceless citizens. Gradually tactics by ground based gunners and intrepid flyers became a tangible threat to the Zeppelins and operations against mainland England scaled down significantly. The manufacturing, fuelling and mooring stations of the Zeppelins in the axis countries also came within range of allied attacks. The last recorded Zeppelin over Hull was in March 1918 with one fatality on the ground, a lady, dying from the shock of the return of the aerial threat, and not directly from enemy action.
At great loss to life, Hull had nevertheless survived as a frontline city in the new phenomena of Total War. What was not foreseen or anticipated at the time was the even more severe devastation of Hull in the Second World War by the same enemy but with battle hardened and considerably more efficient flying machines.
(previously published as 'Buzzer Nights' on 9th November 2011)
Monday, 7 March 2016
Sunday, 6 March 2016
Rites of Spring (Part One)
I have had bad experiences with garage doors.
As a youngster I unwittingly stood too close to the concrete counterweight on the manually operated up and over door at my childhood home. I seem to recall that I should not have been messing about with the garage door anyway but having been brought up in the Thunderbirds TV culture the opening and closing of a door was exciting and always accompanied by a rendition of the theme tune from that series.
As the door slammed shut the pendulum shaped concrete bulk shot down onto my foot. It was very painful at the time and as the bruised and battered toenail shrivelled, died and fell off over the course of a few days following I had a persistent reminder of my larking about.
Just this week I had cause to remember that incident as the large double sized doors to the integral garage at my own grown up house developed a problem and refused to open more than stooping height.
I was understandably cautious to investigate the cause given my traumatic experience in the past.
Technology where garage doors are involved has not progressed much really in 40 years, compared to other everyday domestic aids. There may be remote control and powered systems on the market but the principle remains the same; the door opens and shuts.
I flicked the switch for the motor to stir into action and the heavy metal sheet door stuttered down from its pathetic attempt at opening. Pressed a second time the mechanism took up the strain but the usual smooth motion was awkward and within a couple of seconds the door stuck again.
I approached to investigate, fearful that something would happen to threaten my appendages,by edging slowly, crab like and attempting some protection to head, torso and genitals or as much as two hands can.
The problem appeared to be on the inner right hand operating arm.
It consists of a pivoting metal plate that moves in sympathy with the attachment to the back of the door itself. That alone is not enough to provide resistance to the opening and closing process. My youthful folly was with that concrete counterweight. I had, some four decades later, inherited a spring loaded version, a very tightly coiled green enamelled spring, as fierce and intimidating as any historic concrete thing could be.
It was however dead.
I mean that it was hanging down loose and totally useless as the looped connection to the operating arm had snapped off. Such is the tension in the spring that this failure must have been very audible, not to mention violent. I could see no trace of the missing part either on the garage floor or more likely, embedded like a bullet in the masonry or ceiling.
The previous owners of the house must have suspected that this would occur and had kindly left a brand new, replacement spring hanging up on the wall. This had mystified me at the time of purchase but made sense now.
It took some time to unscrew the fixing of the bottom of the spring to the garage door frame. This formed a critical anchor point for the mechanism and consisted of a threaded bolt with nut and washers. When coaxed free using a spanner and pair of pliers, allowing me to hold aloft the damaged coil, I saw that the fixing was not physically attached but just wedged into the inside of the spring. It was firmly embedded and could not be moved, even with manipulation of the coil like one of those Bullworker power and body building aids of the 1980's. I could not salvage it for re-use with the new spring.
I am not known for my logical thinking but decided to see what the arrangement was at the other side of the door.
It was different. There was a longer length of spring but with a distinctive bolt and round eye securing it to a mounting bracket on the frame. I took a photo of it to remind me of what to look for when I got to the DIY store later on in the day.
The door would have to remain inactive. As a family we had to go out of the front door and walk the long way around the terraced block to reach the car before leaving for work.
I was by now quite tired and poorly prepared, mentally and physically for what would be required in the next few hours to seek out what would no doubt be a rare and elusive bit of hardware.
(To be continued)
As a youngster I unwittingly stood too close to the concrete counterweight on the manually operated up and over door at my childhood home. I seem to recall that I should not have been messing about with the garage door anyway but having been brought up in the Thunderbirds TV culture the opening and closing of a door was exciting and always accompanied by a rendition of the theme tune from that series.
As the door slammed shut the pendulum shaped concrete bulk shot down onto my foot. It was very painful at the time and as the bruised and battered toenail shrivelled, died and fell off over the course of a few days following I had a persistent reminder of my larking about.
Just this week I had cause to remember that incident as the large double sized doors to the integral garage at my own grown up house developed a problem and refused to open more than stooping height.
I was understandably cautious to investigate the cause given my traumatic experience in the past.
Technology where garage doors are involved has not progressed much really in 40 years, compared to other everyday domestic aids. There may be remote control and powered systems on the market but the principle remains the same; the door opens and shuts.
I flicked the switch for the motor to stir into action and the heavy metal sheet door stuttered down from its pathetic attempt at opening. Pressed a second time the mechanism took up the strain but the usual smooth motion was awkward and within a couple of seconds the door stuck again.
I approached to investigate, fearful that something would happen to threaten my appendages,by edging slowly, crab like and attempting some protection to head, torso and genitals or as much as two hands can.
The problem appeared to be on the inner right hand operating arm.
It consists of a pivoting metal plate that moves in sympathy with the attachment to the back of the door itself. That alone is not enough to provide resistance to the opening and closing process. My youthful folly was with that concrete counterweight. I had, some four decades later, inherited a spring loaded version, a very tightly coiled green enamelled spring, as fierce and intimidating as any historic concrete thing could be.
It was however dead.
I mean that it was hanging down loose and totally useless as the looped connection to the operating arm had snapped off. Such is the tension in the spring that this failure must have been very audible, not to mention violent. I could see no trace of the missing part either on the garage floor or more likely, embedded like a bullet in the masonry or ceiling.
The previous owners of the house must have suspected that this would occur and had kindly left a brand new, replacement spring hanging up on the wall. This had mystified me at the time of purchase but made sense now.
It took some time to unscrew the fixing of the bottom of the spring to the garage door frame. This formed a critical anchor point for the mechanism and consisted of a threaded bolt with nut and washers. When coaxed free using a spanner and pair of pliers, allowing me to hold aloft the damaged coil, I saw that the fixing was not physically attached but just wedged into the inside of the spring. It was firmly embedded and could not be moved, even with manipulation of the coil like one of those Bullworker power and body building aids of the 1980's. I could not salvage it for re-use with the new spring.
I am not known for my logical thinking but decided to see what the arrangement was at the other side of the door.
It was different. There was a longer length of spring but with a distinctive bolt and round eye securing it to a mounting bracket on the frame. I took a photo of it to remind me of what to look for when I got to the DIY store later on in the day.
The door would have to remain inactive. As a family we had to go out of the front door and walk the long way around the terraced block to reach the car before leaving for work.
I was by now quite tired and poorly prepared, mentally and physically for what would be required in the next few hours to seek out what would no doubt be a rare and elusive bit of hardware.
(To be continued)
Saturday, 5 March 2016
English Breakfast or Bust!
£3.75 for an all day breakfast!
I am not sure it that is possible.
The food was great but I was consumed by fear and concern that the seaside cafe was operating not out of commercial principles but charity.
I can imagine the Bank Relationship Manager on the nearby cliff top ready to jump out of exasperation for the irrational business plan. Further along the precipice is Ronald McDonald who at last has found his match for the breakfast meal even though he was fully confident that day would never come.
I felt it necessary to examine the economic facts of my breakfast meal and carry out a risk assessment on the financial status of the owner/proprietor and the ongoing viability of their livelihood.
I did so not want the venture to fail because of me and my compatriot customers. Looking around the dining area I could see that the future prospects for the town were also dependant on the income from the budget breakfast with a group of out of town contractors from the new supermarket site, young mothers with a tangle of laden buggies, two obvious social workers discussing a case , the council street sweeper on a chat-up mission with a lady called Pearl (of a certain age) and with the remainder possibly family members or close relations of the owner and the one member on the staff, my hero the short order cook.
The oval serving plate with a suspiciously familiar Trust House Forte logo on it (therefore nil cost to my exercise), contained, from left to right, 2 mushrooms head side down, a tinned peeled tomato, two nicely thick bacon rashers, a perfectly fried egg, slightly dried sausage (suspected to be quorn) and around 50-60 baked beans of uncertain variety but in decent tomato sauce. In orbit of the main platter, a smaller side plate (no corporate logo) with 4 slices of toast and a separate saucer with a mug of coffee.
I would estimate the cost of materials to be around £1.50 but open to challenge if anyone has the actual time to pricecheck.
I did not get a tour of the kitchen so I have added a further 20 pence to cover the cost of lard for cooking. Therefore £1.70.
Production costs have included a few micro-therms of gas sourced from Russia (conversion rate as per today for roubles to pounds sterling), electric light for the duration of kitchen operations, wages for the cook on a pro-rata basis and a small allowance for depreciation and wear and tear.
Say, a figure for these inputs of £1.65 with sub total so far of £3.35. Main overheads have been considered as follows. Business Rates but subject to small business relief, equivalent market rent for the lock up cafe for the duration of my patronage and outgoings for PAYE and national insurance, say 40 pence. Aggregated total to provide the £3.75 all day breakfast- £3.75.
Just as I suspected from the start. The cafe is not a viable business at face value but priceless for service to the community with a menu of compassion, kindness, refuge and friendship.
may find it difficult to find a table next time I am in town.
I am not sure it that is possible.
The food was great but I was consumed by fear and concern that the seaside cafe was operating not out of commercial principles but charity.
I can imagine the Bank Relationship Manager on the nearby cliff top ready to jump out of exasperation for the irrational business plan. Further along the precipice is Ronald McDonald who at last has found his match for the breakfast meal even though he was fully confident that day would never come.
I felt it necessary to examine the economic facts of my breakfast meal and carry out a risk assessment on the financial status of the owner/proprietor and the ongoing viability of their livelihood.
I did so not want the venture to fail because of me and my compatriot customers. Looking around the dining area I could see that the future prospects for the town were also dependant on the income from the budget breakfast with a group of out of town contractors from the new supermarket site, young mothers with a tangle of laden buggies, two obvious social workers discussing a case , the council street sweeper on a chat-up mission with a lady called Pearl (of a certain age) and with the remainder possibly family members or close relations of the owner and the one member on the staff, my hero the short order cook.
The oval serving plate with a suspiciously familiar Trust House Forte logo on it (therefore nil cost to my exercise), contained, from left to right, 2 mushrooms head side down, a tinned peeled tomato, two nicely thick bacon rashers, a perfectly fried egg, slightly dried sausage (suspected to be quorn) and around 50-60 baked beans of uncertain variety but in decent tomato sauce. In orbit of the main platter, a smaller side plate (no corporate logo) with 4 slices of toast and a separate saucer with a mug of coffee.
I would estimate the cost of materials to be around £1.50 but open to challenge if anyone has the actual time to pricecheck.
I did not get a tour of the kitchen so I have added a further 20 pence to cover the cost of lard for cooking. Therefore £1.70.
Production costs have included a few micro-therms of gas sourced from Russia (conversion rate as per today for roubles to pounds sterling), electric light for the duration of kitchen operations, wages for the cook on a pro-rata basis and a small allowance for depreciation and wear and tear.
Say, a figure for these inputs of £1.65 with sub total so far of £3.35. Main overheads have been considered as follows. Business Rates but subject to small business relief, equivalent market rent for the lock up cafe for the duration of my patronage and outgoings for PAYE and national insurance, say 40 pence. Aggregated total to provide the £3.75 all day breakfast- £3.75.
Just as I suspected from the start. The cafe is not a viable business at face value but priceless for service to the community with a menu of compassion, kindness, refuge and friendship.
may find it difficult to find a table next time I am in town.
Friday, 4 March 2016
Daytrips with Uncle Joe
It is good to have a plan. This can range from a mental checklist of what needs to be done on a daily basis, perhaps a week's worth of places to go, people to see, menu's to prepare,others may have a month to month schedule for larger projects around the home or in a working environment, even a years worth of aims and ambitions and further beyond. I have personally had a ten year plan agreed with my wife for improvements around our house but I am not sure when it actually started or by definition when it is due to finish. In my mind it is decade of fluidity, not necessarily on a real time basis and not as contractually binding as it is made out to be. Most plans within these contexts can be scribbled on scrap pieces of paper, the back of a used envelope, on a fancy wall chart using coloured stickers and chinagraph pens, in a diary or journal or are etched deep in consciousness. Be prepared however for some element of disappointment as even the best laid plans can be subject to review, postponement and abandonment.
The Voyenno Topograficheskogo Upravleniya are a prime example. With an estimated 51,000 armoured and light tanks at its disposal the former Soviet Union required and amassed an astonishing amount of mapping intelligence to facilitate the potential for a strategic move westwards through Europe and to their, at the time, number 2 nemesis the British Isles. In quite recent years the back catalogue of Soviet Military Maps has been slowly revealed and to date over 90 large scale and very detailed maps of British towns and cities have emerged in the public domain. These were produced during the main Cold War years from the 1950's and even after the break up of the USSR in the 1990's as part of a very extensive global project masterminded for the purposes of world domination but secretive and often intended to mislead the enemy. This is perfectly understandable on the basis that maps of the Russian mainland and home territories were not considered to be truthful until 1998 when otherwise invisible and undetectable Top Secret Installations and locations of strategic importance began to appear on the new editions.
It is important, vitally important when planning a military campaign to have accurate information. The Soviet maps did not spare the necessary detail. The distance between trees in a forest is a good example of useful data, for example when determining a path for armour, artillery and troops .Spot heights are shown for the bridges in the mapped British Cities in addition to sizes of tunnels and even the composition of the road surface. The basis of the maps has been the subject of controversy and legal proceedings in that it is beyond reasonable doubt that they are grounded on the work of the Ordnance Survey. The emergence of the Soviet Maps has been held in contravention of Copyright and the OS, backed up by the legal system, appealed for any such maps to be surrendered for disposal. These are however still available for viewing and purchase on what appear to be legitimate commercial web sites.
There is a clear indication, however, that the mapping is a combination of a number of intelligence streams, again illustrating the large commitment of personell and resources to the project. Aerial views from satellites or spy planes would of course be available to a Super Power of the time. Annotations show references to Trade Directories in that businesses and industrial sites are named, pocket street atlases have been acquired in order to update records but there is also the scale of information that could only be sourced from quite large numbers of persons on foot and with strong local knowledge and connections. This street-level intel was pioneered to great success in the build up to the Second World War by Germany and Japan. Some anomalies have been indicated through the many academic research papers and presentations on the mapping sheets. Data on railway lines is significantly out of date with depiction of long since grubbed up routes within and between the featured towns and cities. The descriptions in English have sometimes been misinterpreted. A Nature Reserve has been misconstrued as somewhere 'Reserved' or of secret military importance. A sign for a Lorry Park hs been transcribed into Russian as an order to 'Park Lorry'. The maps were produced over the peak years of doctrinal conflict between Communism and Capitalism. This may explain why Racecourses, wide open spaces with racing tracks for the frivolous enjoyment of the privileged have not been recognised as such and have been depicted as airfields. The use of 'Court' in a typical British street address is translated as being part of the legal establishment. Roads appear on the Soviet Maps where none exist on the ground. This has been attributed to the misinterpretation of leafy lanes and access paths to back gardens which is a very characteristic feature of the suburban housing areas in this country.
The ninety or so British towns and cities in detailed relief include the obvious capital and main regional centres but also a few small, and at face value, not very remarkable places. These are however mentioned for strategic value including Barrow in Furness (Submarines), Chatham (Naval Docks), Milford Haven (Refineries), Billingham (Steel) , Rhondda (Mining) and Doncaster (Railways). It is apparent that there existed a higher echelon of mapping of Top Secret sites and installations such as the Aldermaston Research Facility, GCHQ at Cheltenham and the old golf ball early warning station at Fylingdales. I am mightily disappointed that my home city, Hull is not on the list given its size, regional importance and value as a shipping and freight port and Gateway to Europe.
The whole subject is fascinating to anyone remotely interested in topography, Cold war and modern history and military campaigning. So just men then.There may be more yet to emerge. The first realisation that what had previously been whispered rumour and hearsay actually existed and in vast quantities was when a printer in Latvia purchased a pallet of scrap paper from some army types who had been instructed to destroy the sensitive documents.
The Voyenno Topograficheskogo Upravleniya are a prime example. With an estimated 51,000 armoured and light tanks at its disposal the former Soviet Union required and amassed an astonishing amount of mapping intelligence to facilitate the potential for a strategic move westwards through Europe and to their, at the time, number 2 nemesis the British Isles. In quite recent years the back catalogue of Soviet Military Maps has been slowly revealed and to date over 90 large scale and very detailed maps of British towns and cities have emerged in the public domain. These were produced during the main Cold War years from the 1950's and even after the break up of the USSR in the 1990's as part of a very extensive global project masterminded for the purposes of world domination but secretive and often intended to mislead the enemy. This is perfectly understandable on the basis that maps of the Russian mainland and home territories were not considered to be truthful until 1998 when otherwise invisible and undetectable Top Secret Installations and locations of strategic importance began to appear on the new editions.
It is important, vitally important when planning a military campaign to have accurate information. The Soviet maps did not spare the necessary detail. The distance between trees in a forest is a good example of useful data, for example when determining a path for armour, artillery and troops .Spot heights are shown for the bridges in the mapped British Cities in addition to sizes of tunnels and even the composition of the road surface. The basis of the maps has been the subject of controversy and legal proceedings in that it is beyond reasonable doubt that they are grounded on the work of the Ordnance Survey. The emergence of the Soviet Maps has been held in contravention of Copyright and the OS, backed up by the legal system, appealed for any such maps to be surrendered for disposal. These are however still available for viewing and purchase on what appear to be legitimate commercial web sites.
There is a clear indication, however, that the mapping is a combination of a number of intelligence streams, again illustrating the large commitment of personell and resources to the project. Aerial views from satellites or spy planes would of course be available to a Super Power of the time. Annotations show references to Trade Directories in that businesses and industrial sites are named, pocket street atlases have been acquired in order to update records but there is also the scale of information that could only be sourced from quite large numbers of persons on foot and with strong local knowledge and connections. This street-level intel was pioneered to great success in the build up to the Second World War by Germany and Japan. Some anomalies have been indicated through the many academic research papers and presentations on the mapping sheets. Data on railway lines is significantly out of date with depiction of long since grubbed up routes within and between the featured towns and cities. The descriptions in English have sometimes been misinterpreted. A Nature Reserve has been misconstrued as somewhere 'Reserved' or of secret military importance. A sign for a Lorry Park hs been transcribed into Russian as an order to 'Park Lorry'. The maps were produced over the peak years of doctrinal conflict between Communism and Capitalism. This may explain why Racecourses, wide open spaces with racing tracks for the frivolous enjoyment of the privileged have not been recognised as such and have been depicted as airfields. The use of 'Court' in a typical British street address is translated as being part of the legal establishment. Roads appear on the Soviet Maps where none exist on the ground. This has been attributed to the misinterpretation of leafy lanes and access paths to back gardens which is a very characteristic feature of the suburban housing areas in this country.
The ninety or so British towns and cities in detailed relief include the obvious capital and main regional centres but also a few small, and at face value, not very remarkable places. These are however mentioned for strategic value including Barrow in Furness (Submarines), Chatham (Naval Docks), Milford Haven (Refineries), Billingham (Steel) , Rhondda (Mining) and Doncaster (Railways). It is apparent that there existed a higher echelon of mapping of Top Secret sites and installations such as the Aldermaston Research Facility, GCHQ at Cheltenham and the old golf ball early warning station at Fylingdales. I am mightily disappointed that my home city, Hull is not on the list given its size, regional importance and value as a shipping and freight port and Gateway to Europe.
The whole subject is fascinating to anyone remotely interested in topography, Cold war and modern history and military campaigning. So just men then.There may be more yet to emerge. The first realisation that what had previously been whispered rumour and hearsay actually existed and in vast quantities was when a printer in Latvia purchased a pallet of scrap paper from some army types who had been instructed to destroy the sensitive documents.
Thursday, 3 March 2016
Testing Times
Engage in conversation with friends or strangers and it is said that it will, from whatever pretence or subject it started on, eventually come around to a mention of Adolf Hitler, Immigration or the issue of what Social Class you believe yourself to be in.
The old Downton Abbey type demarcation between the Classes is long gone, Praise Be, but many still struggle to either identify with their ancestral roots or edge themselves up, through materialistic possessions, affectations and what older generations call "Top Show" or crudely, "Fur coat and no knickers, to give the impression that they are in the bracket above which they actually belong.
Social mobility and aspirations can blur any residual barriers. It is only the Elitist Ruling Class who have maintained their status, although in a bit more of an impoverished state since the abolition of slavery, domestic servitude and the money making exploitations within the old Empire. We know this to be a fact because they keep going on about it.
I get the impression that more of the UK population than ever regard themselves as Middle Class. This is not surprising because the heavy industries, manual labour and nasty, smelly jobs which made the country wealthy and the electric lighting and transport efficient do not exist anymore within our shores in any recognisable numbers. The Working Class are as rare now in our Census figures as the Ruling Classes which represents a very dramatic situation and with equally significant implications for the socio-economic composition of our Nation.
The Times on Saturday put together a survey to test its readers on whether they are Middle Class. The fifty observations were arranged across a double page spread with indicative photo's of the objects in question and a tick box. This subject aroused my interest and imagination and I have decided to compile a slightly less ambitious selection of 30 things that tell you if that you are Middle Class. Here goes;
1. You saw The Times on Saturday Survey on determining if you are Middle Class.
2. A nice pen was close to hand by which to complete the Times on Saturday Survey
3. There was a thick coffee table type book available on which to rest the Times on Saturday
4. It was quiet enough in the house to complete the Survey without disturbance
5. Items 1 to 5 above were completed whilst drinking a cup of filter coffee from a cafetiere
6. Instant coffee is relegated to the back of the cupboard on a weekend
7. The digital radio in the kitchen has only ever been tuned to BBC Radio 4 Extra
8. You have a pressure cooker but have forgotten how to use it
9. A bulb of garlic sits in its own dish on the kitchen worktop, untouched.
10.You would rather bake a loaf in the breadmaker at exhorbitant cost than buy one from Tesco's
11. You have a dishwasher and also a good supply of Fairy washing up liquid, unopened
12. Fridge magnets on display are from world wide destinations and not just from Clinton Cards.
13. One living room is called 'The Best Room' and has one wall in a contrasting papered finish
14. There is at least one German Manufactured car on the driveway
15. You once had a thought to install a bidet in the bathroom
16. There is more than a weeks supply of toilet paper available in the house
17. Books in the bedroom are on average about 3 centimetres thick from cover to cover
18. You have never purchased, coveted or admired net curtains
19. You possess more than one best pair of shoes
20. A set of crockery is on permanent display and is never for practical use
21. You have a garage but it has never ever had a car parked in it.
22. You regard recycling as your major contribution to saving the world from global warming
23. It is a matter of choice not necessity that you turn on the lounge gas fire
24. There is always a pile of unopened letters from your Bank in a desk drawer. You have a desk.
25. You are good for credit for an indefinite period at your local newsagents.
26. You have a dining room table and it is used for family meals on special occasions.
27. A meal in front of the TV is very naughty and subversive but strangely exciting to partake in
28. You have a raincoat, top coat and a smart casual jacket but a cagoule is only a cagoule
29. A haircut can only be obtained from a hairdressing salon
30. You never carry around any cash or paper money over £10 denomination.
Thank you for your attention. I am just going upstairs to assess if I can indeed wedge a bidet into the house bathroom. If I move the vast supply of loo paper into the garage this may surely be possible.
The old Downton Abbey type demarcation between the Classes is long gone, Praise Be, but many still struggle to either identify with their ancestral roots or edge themselves up, through materialistic possessions, affectations and what older generations call "Top Show" or crudely, "Fur coat and no knickers, to give the impression that they are in the bracket above which they actually belong.
Social mobility and aspirations can blur any residual barriers. It is only the Elitist Ruling Class who have maintained their status, although in a bit more of an impoverished state since the abolition of slavery, domestic servitude and the money making exploitations within the old Empire. We know this to be a fact because they keep going on about it.
I get the impression that more of the UK population than ever regard themselves as Middle Class. This is not surprising because the heavy industries, manual labour and nasty, smelly jobs which made the country wealthy and the electric lighting and transport efficient do not exist anymore within our shores in any recognisable numbers. The Working Class are as rare now in our Census figures as the Ruling Classes which represents a very dramatic situation and with equally significant implications for the socio-economic composition of our Nation.
The Times on Saturday put together a survey to test its readers on whether they are Middle Class. The fifty observations were arranged across a double page spread with indicative photo's of the objects in question and a tick box. This subject aroused my interest and imagination and I have decided to compile a slightly less ambitious selection of 30 things that tell you if that you are Middle Class. Here goes;
1. You saw The Times on Saturday Survey on determining if you are Middle Class.
2. A nice pen was close to hand by which to complete the Times on Saturday Survey
3. There was a thick coffee table type book available on which to rest the Times on Saturday
4. It was quiet enough in the house to complete the Survey without disturbance
5. Items 1 to 5 above were completed whilst drinking a cup of filter coffee from a cafetiere
6. Instant coffee is relegated to the back of the cupboard on a weekend
7. The digital radio in the kitchen has only ever been tuned to BBC Radio 4 Extra
8. You have a pressure cooker but have forgotten how to use it
9. A bulb of garlic sits in its own dish on the kitchen worktop, untouched.
10.You would rather bake a loaf in the breadmaker at exhorbitant cost than buy one from Tesco's
11. You have a dishwasher and also a good supply of Fairy washing up liquid, unopened
12. Fridge magnets on display are from world wide destinations and not just from Clinton Cards.
13. One living room is called 'The Best Room' and has one wall in a contrasting papered finish
14. There is at least one German Manufactured car on the driveway
15. You once had a thought to install a bidet in the bathroom
16. There is more than a weeks supply of toilet paper available in the house
17. Books in the bedroom are on average about 3 centimetres thick from cover to cover
18. You have never purchased, coveted or admired net curtains
19. You possess more than one best pair of shoes
20. A set of crockery is on permanent display and is never for practical use
21. You have a garage but it has never ever had a car parked in it.
22. You regard recycling as your major contribution to saving the world from global warming
23. It is a matter of choice not necessity that you turn on the lounge gas fire
24. There is always a pile of unopened letters from your Bank in a desk drawer. You have a desk.
25. You are good for credit for an indefinite period at your local newsagents.
26. You have a dining room table and it is used for family meals on special occasions.
27. A meal in front of the TV is very naughty and subversive but strangely exciting to partake in
28. You have a raincoat, top coat and a smart casual jacket but a cagoule is only a cagoule
29. A haircut can only be obtained from a hairdressing salon
30. You never carry around any cash or paper money over £10 denomination.
Thank you for your attention. I am just going upstairs to assess if I can indeed wedge a bidet into the house bathroom. If I move the vast supply of loo paper into the garage this may surely be possible.
Wednesday, 2 March 2016
Wear and Tear
There are some distinct advantages of being naked and a few social conventions and just plain legalities representing the down side of being unclothed, particularly in public.
One of the main positives of sporting the old birthday suit is the avoidance of injury or worse arising from the actual wearing of clothes.
The facts and statistics of clothing related accidents and incidents are well documented and in some instances make quite disturbing and gory reading. We, of course, take our clothes entirely for granted and throw on just about anything to cover up our naked forms. There is however no longer a satisfaction with just a loin cloth or prehistoric style bikini. Somehow you do get the impression that our ancestors were just patiently waiting for the invention of underwear and top clothes not otherwise a by-product of something they had just killed for food.
There are many forms of threat from clothes.
This may be from the use of hazardous materials in their manufacture, sustaining an injury from wearing inappropriate clothing for a particular situation or even down to the way we actually get dressed. Particular examples amongst these categories of hazard are not hard to find.
A lady was badly burned when her cocktail dress caught fire. The garment had, as a key constituent, nitrocellulose which is an ingredient in gunpowder. A small child was also injured when the chaps on his cowboy suit trousers caught fire because of the use of unsuitable and unstable chemicals in the vinyl. Clothes can also cause an outbreak of skin complaints and irritations amongst a minority of wearers more sensitive to certain substances. We may persist in wearing a favourite article of clothing because it makes us look good and stylish but in the full knowledge that it is a major source of discomfort. That is the price of fashion.
It is advisable to select appropriate clothing for the activity or environment in which you find yourself. This is plain common sense in, for example, Arctic or other inhospitabale weather regions when , you would hope and expect that individuals would attire themselves correctly. There have been many reports of Mountain Rescue Teams retrieving walkers and climbers from high ground upon the closing in of winter storms and blizzards and expressing their shock and surprise at finding the shivering and hypothermia suffering survivors in flip flops and shorts.
It is not only cape-clad Superheroes who run the risk of being dragged into the engine ports of their craft. I did have access to a dossier, a thick dossier, from the Health and Safety Executive listing the results of their enquiries into fatal accidents on farms and on industrial sites. Beware that lumberjack tweed shirt with the flappy sleeves when operating a power take off shaft on a tractor or a straw bailing machine. It may look the part for the job but it will make short work of helping to remove a body part in conjunction with a mechanical process. Flared trousers and inappropriate wearing of Kaftans close to revolving or linear belted production facilities can also impose some inconvenience if getting trapped and introducing flesh and bone to the industrial machinations.
A recent study of hunting accidents in the US made strong recommendations for those partaking in the sport to wear fluorescent coloured clothing, specifically 'Hunter Orange'. This was logical given the inability of gun-wielding types to differentiate between their colleagues taking a dump in the foliage where the flash of bleached toilet paper readily mimics the hippity hoppity action of a startled white tailed rabbit.
Injuries arising from what can be an everyday action of putting on your clothes are also widespread and were reported on in detail recently by an Association representing Chiropractors. The wrestling action of getting into that Christmas jumper, perhaps a bit tighter than remembered 12 or 24 months ago, can easily throw out a shoulder or cause a muscle-pull. Apparently bra's are responsible for much front pain and back pain and it is my understanding that the proper measuring up for a brassiere can have wonderful benefits for health, well-being and posture. Of comparative significance for the male of the species is certainly that millisecond in time and micron in space that determines if your foreskin gets trapped in the zipper or does not.
The ultimate in cautionary tales aound clothing came from my Gran. She regularly told the story of the demise of the American Dancer, Isadora Duncan in 1927 caused by her (not my Gran I emphasise) casual discarding of a long scarf out of a moving motor vehicle. The subsequent action of the no doubt stylish and chic silk garment catching around the rear wheel and axle caused her neck to break.
I have ever since my Gran first and then repeatedly scared us all with this fact, refused to wear my expansive Doctor Who scarf whilst riding in any convertible vehicle.
One of the main positives of sporting the old birthday suit is the avoidance of injury or worse arising from the actual wearing of clothes.
The facts and statistics of clothing related accidents and incidents are well documented and in some instances make quite disturbing and gory reading. We, of course, take our clothes entirely for granted and throw on just about anything to cover up our naked forms. There is however no longer a satisfaction with just a loin cloth or prehistoric style bikini. Somehow you do get the impression that our ancestors were just patiently waiting for the invention of underwear and top clothes not otherwise a by-product of something they had just killed for food.
There are many forms of threat from clothes.
This may be from the use of hazardous materials in their manufacture, sustaining an injury from wearing inappropriate clothing for a particular situation or even down to the way we actually get dressed. Particular examples amongst these categories of hazard are not hard to find.
A lady was badly burned when her cocktail dress caught fire. The garment had, as a key constituent, nitrocellulose which is an ingredient in gunpowder. A small child was also injured when the chaps on his cowboy suit trousers caught fire because of the use of unsuitable and unstable chemicals in the vinyl. Clothes can also cause an outbreak of skin complaints and irritations amongst a minority of wearers more sensitive to certain substances. We may persist in wearing a favourite article of clothing because it makes us look good and stylish but in the full knowledge that it is a major source of discomfort. That is the price of fashion.
It is advisable to select appropriate clothing for the activity or environment in which you find yourself. This is plain common sense in, for example, Arctic or other inhospitabale weather regions when , you would hope and expect that individuals would attire themselves correctly. There have been many reports of Mountain Rescue Teams retrieving walkers and climbers from high ground upon the closing in of winter storms and blizzards and expressing their shock and surprise at finding the shivering and hypothermia suffering survivors in flip flops and shorts.
It is not only cape-clad Superheroes who run the risk of being dragged into the engine ports of their craft. I did have access to a dossier, a thick dossier, from the Health and Safety Executive listing the results of their enquiries into fatal accidents on farms and on industrial sites. Beware that lumberjack tweed shirt with the flappy sleeves when operating a power take off shaft on a tractor or a straw bailing machine. It may look the part for the job but it will make short work of helping to remove a body part in conjunction with a mechanical process. Flared trousers and inappropriate wearing of Kaftans close to revolving or linear belted production facilities can also impose some inconvenience if getting trapped and introducing flesh and bone to the industrial machinations.
A recent study of hunting accidents in the US made strong recommendations for those partaking in the sport to wear fluorescent coloured clothing, specifically 'Hunter Orange'. This was logical given the inability of gun-wielding types to differentiate between their colleagues taking a dump in the foliage where the flash of bleached toilet paper readily mimics the hippity hoppity action of a startled white tailed rabbit.
Injuries arising from what can be an everyday action of putting on your clothes are also widespread and were reported on in detail recently by an Association representing Chiropractors. The wrestling action of getting into that Christmas jumper, perhaps a bit tighter than remembered 12 or 24 months ago, can easily throw out a shoulder or cause a muscle-pull. Apparently bra's are responsible for much front pain and back pain and it is my understanding that the proper measuring up for a brassiere can have wonderful benefits for health, well-being and posture. Of comparative significance for the male of the species is certainly that millisecond in time and micron in space that determines if your foreskin gets trapped in the zipper or does not.
The ultimate in cautionary tales aound clothing came from my Gran. She regularly told the story of the demise of the American Dancer, Isadora Duncan in 1927 caused by her (not my Gran I emphasise) casual discarding of a long scarf out of a moving motor vehicle. The subsequent action of the no doubt stylish and chic silk garment catching around the rear wheel and axle caused her neck to break.
I have ever since my Gran first and then repeatedly scared us all with this fact, refused to wear my expansive Doctor Who scarf whilst riding in any convertible vehicle.
Tuesday, 1 March 2016
Johnny Rubber
In 1734 a French Explorer to the depths of the Amazon Jungle, close to the convergence of the territories of Bolivia, Brazil and Peru was fascinated by a natural product which the native tribes used to great effect to waterproof their forest homes.
It was sourced from plentiful trees in the river basin by cutting into the bark and trunk and tapping the milky white substance. It was naturally springy and malleable, easily transported and generally useful in the everyday lives of the indigenous population. It came to the attention of some entrepreneurs as latex or gum elastic but in a roundabout and haphazard way the Goodyear Brothers, Charles and Nelson in 1839 found that combining it in a heat process with sulphur and lead, which became known as vulcanisation, produced a very durable, heat and cold resistant yet flexible material.
Rubber was invented.
Though Goodyear is often credited with the invention of vulcanised rubber, modern evidence has proven that the Meso-americans used stabilised rubber for balls and other objects as early as 1600 BC and another experimenter Thomas Hancock had a patent pending for a vulcanisation process 8 weeks before Goodyear in 1844.
Goodyear had a fairly limited vision for the new rubber but was keen to show what the wonder material could do and demonstrated its versatility by making jewellery chains, brooches and earrings of some rare beauty. An advanced vulcanisation process made the rubber a deep black colour, Ebonite.
In 1851 at The Great Exhibition in the United Kingdom a Scottish Chemist displayed his new clothing range of rubber in a cloth surround and so the MacKintosh became a must have item in the wardrobes of the well to do in Victorian society.
From fashion to industry rubber proved to be an ideal material even for mundane products. The dominance of steam power saw rubber gaskets play an important role in ensuring an airtight and waterproof seal between pipe runs and made fortunes for their manufacturers.
By 1873 the price of rubber on the world trade markets exceeded that commanded by silver.
In 1887 James Dunlop patented the pneumatic tyre and demand for rubber from the South Americas escalated into a frenzy only before seen in a Gold Rush.
Thousands were taken by rubber fever and made their way to the Amazon to get a share of the monies to be made. As with many similar exploitations of natural materials to feed consumer demand across the globe there seemed to be no real regulation by Governments and it was a free for all, very much along the imperial trade mantra of "trade by whatever means".
The losers in the frenzy were the native Indians who were mercilessly enslaved by brutal rubber barons or if becoming a nuisance or a burden, just beaten, raped or murdered.
The violence and torture was in part undertaken with the full knowledge and implied consent of many British backed companies marking a shameful episode in their involvement in Bolivia, Brazil and Peru.
The great Amazonian Explorer Colonel Fawcett witnessed or was availed of many atrocities perpetrated in the name of Britain leading to an official enquiry into the moral and ethics of those involved.
There was a huge loss of life also amongst the rubber hunters in the extreme climate of the region and from disease, attack by insects and wild animals including snakes and piranha's and increasingly down to conflict with beleagured tribes forced to fight to protect their territory and livelihoods.
The rubber boom could not be sustained as the supply was critically affected by the reckless tapping of trees without thought of replanting for future years.
In hindsight the peak years in South America were over by 1914.
Fawcett had noticed in his many expeditions in the Amazon that huge swaths of the natural habitat had been destroyed, a practice continued relentlessly to the present day under the same global trade justification.
It was sourced from plentiful trees in the river basin by cutting into the bark and trunk and tapping the milky white substance. It was naturally springy and malleable, easily transported and generally useful in the everyday lives of the indigenous population. It came to the attention of some entrepreneurs as latex or gum elastic but in a roundabout and haphazard way the Goodyear Brothers, Charles and Nelson in 1839 found that combining it in a heat process with sulphur and lead, which became known as vulcanisation, produced a very durable, heat and cold resistant yet flexible material.
Rubber was invented.
Though Goodyear is often credited with the invention of vulcanised rubber, modern evidence has proven that the Meso-americans used stabilised rubber for balls and other objects as early as 1600 BC and another experimenter Thomas Hancock had a patent pending for a vulcanisation process 8 weeks before Goodyear in 1844.
Goodyear had a fairly limited vision for the new rubber but was keen to show what the wonder material could do and demonstrated its versatility by making jewellery chains, brooches and earrings of some rare beauty. An advanced vulcanisation process made the rubber a deep black colour, Ebonite.
In 1851 at The Great Exhibition in the United Kingdom a Scottish Chemist displayed his new clothing range of rubber in a cloth surround and so the MacKintosh became a must have item in the wardrobes of the well to do in Victorian society.
From fashion to industry rubber proved to be an ideal material even for mundane products. The dominance of steam power saw rubber gaskets play an important role in ensuring an airtight and waterproof seal between pipe runs and made fortunes for their manufacturers.
By 1873 the price of rubber on the world trade markets exceeded that commanded by silver.
In 1887 James Dunlop patented the pneumatic tyre and demand for rubber from the South Americas escalated into a frenzy only before seen in a Gold Rush.
Thousands were taken by rubber fever and made their way to the Amazon to get a share of the monies to be made. As with many similar exploitations of natural materials to feed consumer demand across the globe there seemed to be no real regulation by Governments and it was a free for all, very much along the imperial trade mantra of "trade by whatever means".
The losers in the frenzy were the native Indians who were mercilessly enslaved by brutal rubber barons or if becoming a nuisance or a burden, just beaten, raped or murdered.
The violence and torture was in part undertaken with the full knowledge and implied consent of many British backed companies marking a shameful episode in their involvement in Bolivia, Brazil and Peru.
The great Amazonian Explorer Colonel Fawcett witnessed or was availed of many atrocities perpetrated in the name of Britain leading to an official enquiry into the moral and ethics of those involved.
There was a huge loss of life also amongst the rubber hunters in the extreme climate of the region and from disease, attack by insects and wild animals including snakes and piranha's and increasingly down to conflict with beleagured tribes forced to fight to protect their territory and livelihoods.
The rubber boom could not be sustained as the supply was critically affected by the reckless tapping of trees without thought of replanting for future years.
In hindsight the peak years in South America were over by 1914.
Fawcett had noticed in his many expeditions in the Amazon that huge swaths of the natural habitat had been destroyed, a practice continued relentlessly to the present day under the same global trade justification.
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