**** offside ref!

Sunday mornings in the leafy suburb where I used to live for 18 years should have been idyllic but often weren't.

This was because of the horrific airborne assault of verbal abuse that emanated from the amateur football league matches that took place on the multiple pitches on the nearby municipal recreation ground.

Even though out of sight perhaps half a mile distant, therefore sparing myself and family from an actual grandstand seat of the action that accompanied the shameful soundtrack, it was still quite an intimidating experience. My children, quite young at the time did, by mimicking the outbursts of the players, develop quite a colourful vocabulary that could rapidly stun anyone who happened to overhear it.

The local teams, usually consisting of workmates or pub regulars were, on the whole, quite an affable bunch but in the competitive atmosphere of a sunday morning footie match were transformed into bloodthirsty animals in pursuit of minor league glory.

When doing my usual sunday chores of washing the car, trimming the hedge or tidying the herbaceous borders I could only imagine the carnage from the pitch battle being played out on a very vocal basis a couple of streets away.

It appears that similar events take place on a regular basis all over the nation as illustrated the following newspaper report from 2010.

A veteran, amateur footballer who received six red cards in the same match has admitted his playing career is over after receiving a two-year ban. 

Paul Cooper, 39, got a second yellow card in the 80th minute for dissent while playing for Hawick United against Pencaitland in the Border Amateur League in November.

He then received another five red cards for verbal exchanges with the referee which lasted for five minutes after the original sending off. A dubious record for the sport.

The player, nicknamed Santa, said he realised it was his own fault he had got into disciplinary trouble.

"I completely overreacted after I had been sent off and I know I said things to the referee I should not have," he said."But I felt so frustrated as I honestly wasn't to blame for the incident that led to me being sent off" 

 A few mad moments have basically cost Paul his footballing career, a big part of his life for the previous 22 years.

"After the game I went to see the referee in his dressing room and I apologised to him for losing it and he accepted the apology." Mr Cooper said he was unable to attend a disciplinary hearing in Glasgow due to work commitments and then received a letter confirming his lengthy ban.
"Unfortunately I've been in bother before with bans and I expected six months," he said."But I was absolutely stunned when I got two years."

He said: "I will just have to go with the flow, accept things and find something else to do on a weekend"

Hawick United manager George Shepherd said he believed the two-year suspension was "way over the top. A few mad moments have basically cost Paul his footballing career," he said.
"He is a very good player and will be very much missed at Hawick United." Hugh Knapp, secretary of the Scottish Amateur Football Association, said the matter had been properly dealt with under its disciplinary procedures.

"Mr Cooper was given the opportunity to attend a hearing but decided not to," he said."He was also given the opportunity to appeal to the Scottish Football Association and again chose not to do that so the matter is closed."

Mr Cooper's club Hawick United were also fined £150. 

Perhaps the local residents will have benefited from the enforced lay-off of Mr Cooper and their sunday's are blessedly peaceful, as they should be.