Old Money Talks

Todays listening treat on BBC 4 extra was a 1957 episode from Tony Hancock as part of his "HHH..Hancocks Half Hour" series of that decade.

It was the first time of hearing for me and no more a delightful and clever piece of comedy writing from the duo of Galton and Simpson could it be. Alan Simpson only very recently passed away (February 2017).

This 30 minute broadcast was entitled "Agricultural 'ancock" with the synopsis being a plan by our deadpan and downtrodden hero to vacate his humble and rather grotty abode at 23 Railway Cuttings, Cheam and move to the country.

Although claiming to want a better life it is more the case of a potential rent increase on the hovel from 6 shillings a week to the local going rate of 36 shillings. He has also been claiming agricultural labourers subsidy although the nearest he has got to a rural life is a window box of carrots.

There have been concerns over subsidence issues at the house as when he first took up occupation it was only number 11 Railway Cuttings.

It turns out that he has actually been served Notice to Quit by the council.

It is time he feels "to buy his own farm". He wants at least 20,000 acres for about £50.

As always through the Hancock Stories any talk, even small talk,  about finances immediately attracts the full attention of the scheming, dubious rogue of a character, Sid and he arrives to offer assistance in sourcing a suitable establishment.

Hancock stipulates that there must be no skulduggery. He wants an honest deal.

Sid wants some cash up front. The script goes as follows .

Just as a note, I will not attempt to explain the old money terms as decimalisation came in when I was 7 years old. Just for fun ask someone over the age of, say, 60 to run through the finer points of pounds, shillings, pence, bobs, tanners, half dollars and the rest.

H- How much on account?

S- About 100 knicker will do for out of pocket expenses

H- You've got big pockets haven't you. I can only spare £22 10 shillings.

S- That'll do

H- Got any change?

S-How much?

H- £25, I want 50 shillings change

S- I've only got coins, is that alright?

H- Yes, I don't mind

S- Well here are we are then four half crowns and a two bob bit.

H- (repeats) Four half crowns and a two bob bit..that's only 12 shillings

S- What do you mean 12 shillings. Look at the date on that half crown.

H- 1927

S- Exactly and how much was the pound worth in 1927?

H- Compared with today?

S- Yes

H-About 60 shillings

S- There you are then, that half dollar is the equivalent to 7'6" today.

H- Yes, I suppose it is.

S- There you are then you've got a 1914 one that's about 8'6" and a 1908 one that's a ten and a tanner , a 1904 one that;s 11'3", an 1893 two bob bit that would have bought 25 bobs worth of anybodies stuff in those days. So there you are then that's a seven and a tanner, 23, 36, 44, you've got about 52 and 6. You're making a couple of bob profit. What are you moaning about?

H- I hadn't looked at it like that before. Yes, of course you're dead right. Have you got any other old coins you want to get rid of?

S- Certainly I've got an 1893 penny here, now how much was that worth in those days?

H- About £3 6s

S- I'll let you have it for 3 bob.

H- Thanks Sid, that's a bargain. I've got some 1957 half crowns here- are you interested?

S- 1957. Yea, well,moneys not worth much these days. I tell you what I'll give you two 1914 tanners for them.

H- Sold

S- If you get any more 1957 stuff or even '56 I'll take them off your hands

H- Ah, thanks Sid. It's a good job I know you otherwise I might have been lumbered with a load of worthless money.


You just get the impression that the story continues as does the scam. A comedy classic.