Pippin, Pippin, Pippin

I am not alone in thinking twice about taking a swim in the ocean.

It is a real fear amongst some of the residents of these here British Isles but quite irrational given that no-one is more than about 70 miles from the sea, even in deepest, greenest rural England. We are a seafaring nation whose history and a good proportion of accumulated wealth came from maritime related trade be from manufactured goods and raw materials to the less honourable movement of slaves and other forms of exploitation in the name of Empire.

We can, in this country, be excused from not taking more regular dips in the oceans around the nation because, lets face it, there are no really warm seas. A few brave endurance swimmers will take to the waves and you may be surprised at the level of ownership of wet suits but bearing in mind that water temperatures can at best be around 61F of 16C then such attire is a necessity rather than just for poseurs.

The sheer cold is enough of a reason in itself for not swimming in the ocean. Add to that the fact that you cannot in UK waters see what is beneath you due to the level of sediment in solution, there can be dangerous droppings off to the sea floor even a few yards offshore, a few nasty jelly fish and some extremely perilous currents.

I would now add to the list of excuses to just sit on the beach or quay the distinct possibility of meeting a killer shark.

Changes in ocean currents and temperatures have attracted new visitors amongst the large shark family into our inshore waters. Around 30 species are already commonly found but in the last couple of years the huge Basking Shark has been seen with more regularity off the southern coast of England.

Veggie shark

Granted, this bucket mouthed giant is a plankton eater, therefore a veggie and poses no risk to humans but it may not be too long before species such as the Great White Shark pay a visit.

That brings me back to my opening line. It was actually the Jaws film released in 1975 that had quite an influence on my coastal habits. It was a terrifying movie building on a menacing tension that started off quite innocently with a youthful skinny dip tragically leading to the first victim of that summer season on Amity Island.

I was 12 years old when the film was shown at the town cinema and those graphic images of waterborne death and mayhem were bad enough but compounded further by my very poor aptitude for swimming.

In the months and years following the Jaws film I would not even venture into the shallows for a paddle. A Saturday morning indoor heated Municipal pool session held the same feelings of anxiety and trepidation for me. Even in adult life and with appreciably more confidence in the water I have always had the ominous musical tones of the jaws theme in my head whenever the level of salt water has exceeded my kneecaps.

I did let my guard down once whilst on holiday in Australia.

I was, whilst happily splashing about in the Coral Sea intrigued by a line of yellow static buoys about a quarter of a mile out in the bay. Later discovering that these were anti-shark measures to protect beach users left me pale and cold. In the same vacation my wife's cousin, a keen diver himself, told us about a very recent double shark fatality just within sight of the Promenade.

The odds of being killed by a shark are a bit of a comfort at 1 in 3.7 million although I am concerned that there is no mention about numbers who are chewed, bitten or traumatised which although bad must nevertheless be seen as a most fortunate escape.

To keep these odds in perspective the chance of drowning is 1 in 113,000, being killed by a dog 1 in 116448 and quite similar from a lightning strike.

I can shorten my prospects for being a shark victim by not participating in the main victim activities which are surfing and board sports (65%), swimmers (32%) and the rest snorkellers.

There is currently, in readiness for the holiday season along the east coast of the United States , a public information campaign for visitors about most prudent behaviour whilst in the water. This is in response to a large increase in sightings of the cold bloodied Great White Shark following the warmer waters to locations which have not before witnessed this.

Jaws was based on the Massachusets Coast and as far north as Cape Cod the 2017 education campaign has stressed the key points for water users to stay in groups, keep close to the shore, minimise splashing which can mimic a distressed fish prey, avoid fishing areas and not to venture out for a swim, however romantic, epic or alcohol fuelled it may feel at dawn, dusk or during the night.

The anticipated spike in shark numbers coinciding with the huge numbers of holiday makers will increase the chances of a bit of a one sided confrontation .Some may be reassured by the further statistic that amongst some 15 billion separate human sorties into the coastal waters only around 50 to 100, globally. result in shark inflicted fatalities.

As for me, I have been meaning to catch up on my beach reading matter . I am also a dab hand at keeping the wasps off a sand infused picnic from behind the relative safety ,from sharks ,afforded by a gawdy wind break.

" We're gonna need a bigger shark repellent wind-break"