One of the great benefits of driving a lot in the course of my daily work is to be able to listen to the radio in the car.
I tend to switch between a few channels but invariably find myself tuning in to the great archive that is BBC Four Extra.
One of the many re-runs that I find myself laughing out aloud at is "I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue" which is a very long running improvisational comedy show which over its many decades has featured the very best in comedic and entertainment talent.
A regular feature in the show is the offering by the participants of definitions of words towards the Uxbridge English Dictionary.
For any student of the English Language this must be most confusing as although the donor word is a bona fide one the meaning as described is only intended to elicit laughter or gasps of shock and awe.
Here is a bit of a compilation of definitions either broadcast since its launch in 1972 or just held in a remarkable database produced by Kevin Hale, undoubtedly the greatest fan and authority on the subject.
The list is under the first letter of the alphabet but in no particular order;
Arizona- the person that 'ari belongs to.
Alloy- metal friend
Aperitif- Cockney dentures
Anachronism-a political system with no government and a poor sense of timing
Antelope- to run off with your mother's sister
Artery- shooting arrows at paintings
Abattoir- threesome in a monastery
Assassination- an arrangement to meet up with a donkey
Autobiography- car log book
Artefact- pretentious statistic
Adder- Derbyshire expression meaning "I've slept with that woman"
Abscond- to steal someones cream tea
Avoidable- what a cow with a headache tries to do
Abacus- Swedish swear word
Analysis- a rectal examination
Algebra- part of a bikini made from kelp
Atrophy- reward for winning at sport
Aromatic- high tech gadget of Robin Hood
Advisor- the best way to stop the wind getting in your motorbike helmet
Argy-Bargy. The owner of a canal boat in Buenos Aries
Anthropological- a natural time to propel a Telly Tubbu
Apetite- a cheerful drunk
Arsehole- someone, only later on, remembering the Capital of South Korea
Aberdare- a challenge to Benny, Bjorn, Agnetha and the other one
Asbestos- a Greek anti social behaviour order
Acne- a walking stick for dyslexics
Amish- a bit like an arm
Aggregate- a farming scandal
Aerospace- a dedicated place for your chocolate bar
Arson- to sit
Arboretum- a dockside restaurant
Alimony- backstreet currency
Alkaline- a queue outside an A A Meeting
Announce- 28 grams
Arcane- Liverpudlian bamboo
Aspire- the pointy bit of a church
Asymmetry- posh place to bury people
A La Carte- a wheelbarrow from The Arabian Nights
Aerobic- a chocolate pen
Abatement- a cold sufferer describing the lower ground floor of his house
Abort- a sea going vessel described by a resident of Birmingham
Accomplish- drunken sidekick
Acupuncture- a deliberate tyre slashing
Anti-disestablishmentarianism . a strangely named northern, female relative
Albino- Saudi Arabian children's comic
Apex- Gorrilla's wristwatch
Asphalt- something that men of a certain age should refrain from
Arsenic- what happens if you sit naked on a razor blade
AWOL- a dyslexic owl
Animate- a fondness for pets
Agog- a half built Temple
to be continued alphabetically at a later date....................................
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