Soilent Green

I am now receiving a lot of marketing literature about Funeral Plans and just about all of my favourite TV programmes are interspersed with advertisements on the same subject.

The first is down, obviously, to my age profile and the second, no doubt, attributable to a clever algorithm derived from multiple organisations pooling and sharing the data that has been culled every time I look at a product or service on line.

Deciding on how to go after death used to be quite simple.

There just used to be a burial plot in a Cemetery that had been established some generations of the family before. That space was typically purchased and held in perpetuity serving as a focal point for grief and remembrance.

Many a day out with relatives would include a visit to the graveside either before or after a trip out to the coast, a stately home, garden centre of farmers market. With the upsurge in popularity in all things ancestry I have spent many an hour walking up and down the rows in abandoned and overgrown cemeteries trying to make out familiar surnames from a very unruly family tree diagram.

Those vast acres in and around our towns and cities strewn with variously angled headstones, weathered or vandalised memorials soon reached full capacity. New sites for graveyards were just too expensive when greater pressure existed on land use for homes and amenities for the living.

Cremation, although an ancient ritualistic practice in many cultures over the Millenia only really became available in the post war years in the UK as Local Authorities developed such facilities together with rose gardens and parkland to relieve the pressure on, I hesitate to call it this, the system.

My late dear Father chose to be cremated in a wicker casket as testament to his thoughtfulness about the environment. However, things have moved on a pace in very recent years and even the emissions from Crematoria are a target for criticism by Climate Change Campaigners.

Such things have been the catalyst for innovative ideas for our passing.

You can have the remains of a loved one, human or animal, formed under huge pressure processes into a diamond and then this bit of carbon set into a piece of jewellery.

I'm not sure if I saw this in a magazine or dreamt it myself but precious remains can also be set into a watch to ensure ongoing close contact with the deceased as you go about your daily life.

It is therefore a natural progression for Washington State in the USA to legalise what is called "natural organic reduction" as an alternative to conventional burials and cremations.

That fancy term can be condensed into just a simple word- Composting.

There are two main methods of composting which appear suitably sensitive, practical and commercially viable.

The first, alkaline hydrolisis involves the body being subjected to heat, pressure, water and chemicals, typically a metal hydroxide known as Lye.

The other process which is to be offered following the Washington legalisation is the placing of the newly departed in a sealed vessel in which is introduced a mixture of woodchips and straw.

Such is the chemical reaction and biodegradable potency of this combination that relatives can collect the equivalent of two wheelbarrows worth of organic soil type mixture after just a month.

The residual material is for the family to use as they wish in their garden or in any form of commemorative activity requiring a nutritious and fertile mix.

Although the chemistry and biology may seem impersonal to those in mourning the outcome is actually akin to the most natural occurrences in wider nature and in this way relieves pressure on the environment in many positive ways in what is a global Climate Emergency.

I can see myself as a growbag. Yes I can but would I be best recomposing as tomatoes or potatoes?