Wildlife in the working day

It's been a day of confrontations with wildlife today. 

That might not sound too remarkable but I cannot recall having experienced such a sequence of events and certainly not in the course of a single day. 

The first was a stand off with the Peacocks who reside on a Business Park. 

I was dropping off a bundle of reports at the branch of a banking client when the birds, a mixture of pompous males and rather scruffy hens just wandered out across the car park blocking my way. I sat quietly in the car until they allowed me to move. Of course they repeated their picketing on the return leg of my journey. 

A bit later on in the day I was charged at menacingly by a bay horse. 

Granted, it was in a fenced off paddock but being a Townie at heart I was naturally fearful of the beast clearing the rather flimsy fence and actually causing me physical harm, either directly or in the course of my taking of evasive action such as jumping into the nearest ditch. 

After the threat from ornamental fowl and four legged mounts You would think that I would be on peak alert for any further potential encounters. 

You would think. 

So, why did I confidently push open the garden gate which bore the prominent signage of "Warning- goose on guard". 

I can explain. Just along the house path in a small fenced enclosure was the figure of a lone goose. I laughed at the sentiment of the sign as the animal in question was a static fibre glass one. 

I could see those callers to the property with mischief or mayhem in mind might be deterred by the very lifelike image but my visit had been pre-arranged , I was expected and on time and so just breezed on by. 

After seeing the homeowner at the back door he motioned for me to move quickly through a further gate and intimated that I should not, at any cost, look behind. 

Above all of this subterfuge I could hear a sound within earshot, a sort of aggressive but monotonous honking. Safely in the house kitchen the owner told me that I had been the only person ever to have outwitted the very large and fierce goose that had been taken on as a domestic pet but had soon developed the self appointed role of sentry and guard within the boundaries. 

I laughed nervously but not at what I had evaded but now from the new attentions of a very hyper-active Border Collie. The dog was a proper working one and its owner explained that it had to pretend to round me up and then give me a good sniff to familiarise and assess me. 

That was in addition to the uncomfortably close proximity of canine teeth to my groin. 

After passing that particular test the actual meeting at the property went well. 

As I made to leave the grounds the owner placed himself carefully between me and the dutiful goose whose patrolling included a few random and unpredictable movements and a rather rude spitting action.  I can appreciate why the people of Rome placed so much trust in the species as sentinels and guardians of the Seven Hills. 

I was mightily relieved to get to the kerbside and away from the marauding goose but then....just up the country lane where I had parked the car I saw that the scatty horse was looking in my direction with malicious intent.