Encouragement to Auntie Maud

Dear Auntie Maud,

I have just heard that you are having second thoughts about your purchase of a Stairway to Heaven

First of all I must say how pleased I was to hear that your utter conviction that your jewellery was valuable was in fact confirmed by one of the many 'Cash for Gold' companies and that its sale  permitted you to pursue your dream of purchasing the above item. Very different from your younger days, many businesses do now operate flexible opening hours but it is refreshing to hear that you were still able to verbally persuade the purveyors of the product to allow you to complete your order.

You were sensible in confirming that you were at the right shopping outlet because it is often possible to be confused by a similarly named retailer who is not able to provide a compatible item. I know the place you speak of personally, just down by the small stream and close to 'The Tree' public house where they often have an Eva Cassidy impersonator. I'm not entirely convinced that she is actually any good. I really like taking on the persona of Stevland Hardaway Morris if that is the case.

Like you, I am a bit nostalgic when there is a beautiful sunset and get very sad deep down if I cannot stay around to enjoy it. In such circumstances I often remember, as you might, when someone set fire to the wooded copse in the local park and all the fuss that it created amongst the large crowd that gathered to see what was going to happen. Once again I think about doing an impression of Stevland Hardaway Morris.

On a lighter note, if we all behave ourselves there is a rumour that an authentic Caledonian musician may give us something to ponder on. I have a date for your diary for one morning this week but it will be very early. If you find yourself bereft of anything to sit on head up to the woods as there is a bit of an entertainment planned which is expected to be quite amusing.

As you are very much security minded you might want to thin out your Privet to prevent anyone leaping out and startling you. It does make for good housekeeping anyway and will safeguard your favourite album of guitar tunes by that guy you like who played with Freddie Mercury. As always you do have free will and choice and it is your prerogative to change your mind at any time. If it happens to me I just pretend that I am, once again, Stevland Hardaway Morris.

It must be my age but I do often get a headache from the raucous sounds of Scottish music, I am sorry to say, and flatulence can be an unfortunate side effect from the medication. A 'silent but deadly' it may be but do not let that deter you from going ahead with your desired purchase even if the weather gets bad.

To conclude your purchase you will no doubt be leaving in your usual sensible shoes, just around dusk, and may come across that old friend of yours on the way, sensibly as always carrying a torch and giving directions with a bright but mellowy coloured beam. I do know her, she is very softly spoken and does tend to go on in a sing-song voice  about how much she enjoys the  literature of Alexandre Dumas set in  17th century France and involving the adventures of that trio of the kings swordsmen. Just be strong and do not be a pushover.

I know you will enjoy your Stairway to Heaven.

Your Nephew, James Page.
p.s. Thanks for the Rubber Plant as well.