Children of the Corn

It is just not that amazing, this years Maize Maze.

The growing season has been poor for that particular crop in our local area. I am not sure why because everything else in the farmers fields has sprouted, flourished, thrived and borne much produce. It has, by all accounts, been a year of bumper yields for the soft fruits and the usual UK grown fare but not for Maize.

It may be the climate which will be quite different in this country from the main and traditional growing areas in other parts of the world. The very wet June may have done for the new sprouting shoots causing them to tread water rather than reach up to the leaden and heavy rain sodden cloudy skies.

It may be the soil composition. In this area it is mostly heavy clays which may not suit the temperament of a crop found more extensively in the mid west and southern United States.

It will certainly be the lack of nourishing sunshine but then again that is not at all surprising for a typical British summer.

The posters and hoardings advertising this years Maize Maze up the road on the way to Beverley did get me all excited because I am not too old or boring to appreciate the combination of a challenge and a terrifying experience amongst a crop that always seems to feature heavily in movies about aliens or strange cults and phenomena.

If I happen to drive past a thickly planted field of Maze I half expect to catch sight, in my headlights of a lizardy textured limb clad in a metallic sheen suit either stepping back in or stepping out with equal potential for horror and disbelief on my part. However, the disappointing growth of this years crop negates any rational or irrational feelings because the maize in question is only two feet high.

One parent was reported in the local newspaper as being a bit surprised by the stunted size of the maize but nevertheless was pleased that his young children could enjoy the intricacies of the pathways, cul de sacs and the overall disorientation but yet be in full, continuous and plain sight of their supervising adults or responsible persons.

I can sympathise with this feeling because Me and The Boy suffered a mutual panic attack a couple of years ago in a Maize Maze. The crop was fully developed to a height of about eight feet and as dense as a blackout curtain. It was also a very hot and stifling day and getting separated from those whom we had followed at first we realised that we were hopelessly lost.

Of course, with a head down charge in any direction we would have reached the car park, ice cream tent or the periphery of the maze with no particular difficulty apart from , that is, the chance of stumbling across a family of leathery skinned aliens engaged in some form of activity which may be commonplace on their planet of origin but considered anti-social or nefarious on ours.