Name Calling

There has been a return to some of the old traditional Christian names by parents with their new borns.

After a good few years as the most popular boys name Jack has ,at last, been knocked off top spot by Oliver. There is close competition from Harry, Charles and Thomas followed by a cluster of good strong biblical names including Joshua, Jacob, Samuel, Joseph and Noah. In the mix are a few celebrity inspired entries from the world of sport, media and modern culture, such names as Mason, Brandon, Kobe and Carter and then the completely made up and meaningless amalgamation of words to form the likes of Dwaine, Jayden, Logan, Landon and Blaine.

The back pages of the Saturday Times newspaper supplements have small featurettes on new arrivals and every set of parents , bar none, seem to apologise for the choice of baby name as though obliged to give the poor thing a leg up in life by being called Piers, Barnaby or Jasper. It may be excusable if a longstanding and beloved name in their families but to attempt to engineer a stereotypical life in the upper echelons of business, commerce or the arts where so named individuals is cruel and callous.

In my own experience I knew a lad called Paris. He was incessantly bullied in the gruff northern town of his formative years for the sake of his fanciful name, made more comical by his rather plain and unimaginative surname, Watson.

On the same fantasy theme were Aramis and Andreas, again long suffering for their forename choice by loving but ultimately misguided parents. In contrast the toughest kid in the school was called Gerald, but it effectively shortened to the hard case of Ged.

My own Christian name, Peter, was in the top 10 for decades although now approaching my half century I find myself being the youngest so labelled. When pressed for an explanation for my name my parents alluded to a pop star of the 1960's from the British band, Hermans Hermits.

You can appreciate my surprise at being introduced to a Peter, aged about 6 quite recently. His mother used his name liberally in shouting down the garden as he was a bit of a mischief and I latched onto the rare sound of my own name and was keen to quiz the mother on her choice. I gave the usual back story and found that the lad was also named after a pop star, Peter Andre. Not a lot changes in 50 years if that is anything to go by.

A Christian name can be relied upon, generally, to give an indication as to the age of a person before you meet them. That may not be possible to say into the future as traditional names drift in and out of popular use.

I can look forward to  and fully expect to meet real characters called Arnold, Edgar, Vincent, Herbert, Edgar and Clarence and be chatted up by Ethel, Gertrude, Doris, Mildred and Gladys as I remind them of their own, themselves, elderly offspring. They are from a generation that experienced tremendous social and economic changes including conflict and recession.

Some of these names have little prospect of returning to the top 100 or even the top 200 of in popularity and will, if not already, just fade into extinction.

In the last week or so the fate of the old reliables has been no more accentuated by the death of two notables called Norman. One was the Hull comedian Norman Collier who was in his heyday in the 1970's. His trademark diction as though using a faulty and short circuiting microphone established him as a club and TV favourite.

The other was a quiet, unassuming but very entertaining man himself, Norman Jarvis, a local electrician.

We went on quite a few jobs together with Norman providing an opinion of the electrical circuitry in many a property whilst I looked at the condition of the house for a prospective purchaser. I could always  tell where he was in a building because of his cheery singing and whistling of the classics and perennial favourites. He was very thorough in his electrical testing, so much so that I would often complete my commission first and then hang around so as not to appear a slacker by comparison.

He was very practical and although I never had the courage or cheek to do it he encouraged me to return any light bulbs to the shop where they had been bought if they failed before their allotted hourly indication.

I liked working with Norman and I feel that we got on well even though there was quite a difference in age and outlook. He was always available to provide his expertise, even at fairly short notice, being semi retired after handing over the day to day workload of a thriving family business to his son.

His light may have gone out but the thought of Norman will always illuminate some of my best memories.