Debt, life and high finance

It could be true.

Alternatively, it could be a complete fabrication.

It is entirely possible to start a rumour that, through Chinese whispers, hearsay and gossip, develops into a full blown urban myth.

In this particular case I am not even sure when the event, that has now become stuff of legends, actually took place or is purported to have happened. The tale was already in circulation in the business community of Hull, East Yorkshire, UK when I first started work there in the mid 1980's.

How I first heard it may have been during those old style, long ,friday lunchtimes in a public house when some amongst our social group were quite used to downing five pints of John Smiths Bitter and then return to work for what must have been a long, drawn out and rather vague and blurry afternoon session.

Funny though, more business was transacted between 3pm and 5pm on the last working day of the week in some establishments than at any other time. The boozy and smoke filled sessions died out gradually under a combination of pressure of work and the introduction in some companies of alcohol breath testing.

The story?

A well known businessman in the town had been continually frustrated by his attempts to obtain money owed to him by a customer/associate/tenant/acquaintance. The status has become vague over the passage of time but is not really that important now.

Conventional debt collection channels had been followed.

Thirty Days to settle had come and gone.

One of those cheap thick mass produced rubber stamps for inking had been hammered onto a copy of the original Invoice. The tone of "Overdue Account" was polite but firm with the proviso that if the remittance had been paid whilst the reminder was in transit then apologies were due. The situation was not satisfactory as far as our man was concerned but there was no need to call in the cavalry.

Subsequent rubber stamps were applied with increasing vigour and urgency of message to yet more copy invoices as the amount remained outstanding.

The amount.....well, that was never mentioned in the story and could as easily have been a few pence, on the principle of the thing, or many thousands of pounds.

There was a complete lack of communication between the respective parties although such was, and still is, the parochial nature of commerce in Hull that there will have been many times when creditor and debtor will have passed in the street, on the road network or just missed each other at the sandwich shop or lunch time diner. Mutual friends and colleagues will have been aware of the increasing tension but it was not their role or purpose to mediate, interfere of get involved in any way.

Not many in the business environment of that time had a mobile phone. Those that were pioneering the medium could be seen struggling around with a shoulder bag containing a heavy battery and with ears glowing a disturbing red from the unfettered radiation of an oversized, by current standards, handset. The option of a text or quick reminder call was not therefore available, perhaps not for another decade.

A good old letter, threatening the use of a solicitor or a debt collection agency was to follow but was often just a ruse given that both routes entailed high administrative costs and fees which, for a smaller accrued amount was simply not viable.

The next to last resort, according to the tale, involved a physical visit to the last known residential or trading address of the debtor. This was unproductive. Those who made an art form out of persistent late or non-payment of a bill were well versed in evasion and avoidance tactics. Whole families could hide behind the curtains or furniture upon the signal of the designated look-out of the approach of someone intent on collection of monies or chattels. Staff, often unaware of anything more to do with the business than serving customers could legitimately swear ignorance as to the whereabouts of the boss or his likely movements in the forthcoming hours.

You can easily appreciate the utter frustration of our beleaguered individual. It was time to resort to the last resort and he could be forgiven for being forced into such a position.

Matters had not moved forward through conventional protocols. Every concession had been given but to no avail.

The next part of the story is a bit vague. Whether our man was driving around the City and just spotted the elusive debtor or it was a premeditated strategy to track him down by cruising up and down last known haunts is not clear.

Whatever the precursors it seems that a chain of events led to the unceremonious depositing of a live and rather frightened body in the boot of a large black saloon car.

There followed, well, I can only speculate, a bit of a grand tour of the highways and byways of the City of Hull by the two occupants of the vehicle, one sat in well sprung comfort and the other crouched, foetal like in the dark recesses behind the back seats.

The form of the conversation can only be speculated upon but was probably not on the subject of family, football, the previous evenings TV programmes and matters of world and national importance.

It appears that any indebtedness was settled during the course of that journey.

I did from time to time have to carry out work for the man although rarely involving the need for any contact other than a phone call to arrange an appointment.

Some years later that I found myself summoned to the offices of the innovative businessman to undertake further work. We chatted about normal things and found a few common interests and mutual acquaintances. This served to lessen my degree of nervousness in the one to one situation given the ongoing resonance of the whole legend in my mind.

He was, as I had always perceived, a down to earth bloke. He worked hard and expected others to be respectful and honourable in any business dealings with him and they could expect exemplary service and loyalty in return.

We got on well and the time passed quickly until he announced that we should drive out to the premises which required my professional attention.

Whilst he disappeared into an adjoining room to brief his secretary I made a quick telephone call to my own office, just to make sure, after all, better safe than sorry, that we did not owe him any money.