A bringing up

I often reflect on my childhood years.

They were happy and safe but I am aware that many of my generation were not so blessed.

My upbringing was and even in my 50's remains the life's work of my parents and that is a strong motivation for me as father to my own children, themselves in their 20's.

I was born in the early 1960's at a time when the profile of family life in Britain was in the process of a revolution.

Over the half a decade up to the 1970's the number of divorces increased from around 7500 to well over 110,000. It was the emergence of the single parent family with one and half million children in such a unit by the late 1970's and currently at a whopping 1 in 4 children.

I was not really aware of any of my contemporaries with only one parent apart from those where a father or mother had died prematurely from illness or in an accident. I put this down to my own circumstances and the environment in which I lived.

Sociologists attribute my situation as a consequence of social class.  Children found themselves invariably  classified under the sphere of occupation of their father in the traditional role of bread winner. Class was, until well into the 20th century, the determining factor for the chances in life that you could expect. Many may argue that this still holds true.

There were major economic changes in play in Britain to slow the rate of growth in the immediate post-war years. These included the decline in manual working, the loss of jobs in traditional Industries and strong competition from other emerging global economies which the older uk labour structure and in comparison, higher wages could not compete with.

In social factors there was a move away from larger cities and towns into better suburbs and new settlement areas. This saw a fracturing of family bonds with grandparents no longer to be found next door or just around the corner and gradually excluded from a daily or influential role in the lives of their grandchildren.

The trade off was improved housing, being healthier, warmer and safer.

Our family moved to a brand new house in the mid 1970's with open views to fields and plenty of space to roam about and play. Our Gran did make the move to live in the next street and my maternal grandparents were also happy to be uprooted from the South and moved to a nearby village within cycling distance if we wanted to visit.

I appreciate now that we were very privileged to be able to benefit from the wisdom and experience of both sets of our elders.

My generation were also amongst the first in the modern era to have such things as our own bedroom, pocket money and the determination, in my case, of my parents to give me and my four siblings everything that we needed.

This was perhaps the most revolutionary aspect of the period with children becoming the centre of attention by parents.

We were not required to give much in return and actually got away with making no real contribution to the smooth running of the family house apart from, when feeling guilty, to clear the dining table, wash up on occasion and keeping our rooms tidy.

This was a distinct contrast to previous generations who were expected to go out to work at an early age in order to contribute to the family income, be seen but not heard and speak only when spoken to.

As a family we always sat down to eat together at the table and we were encouraged to discuss and comment on any concerns or worries or just ask questions on subjects which had aroused our curiosity. I regard this upbringing to be the major character forming factor in my own life and it is a worthy model that I have tried to emulate with my own children.

My brothers, sisters and me did not realise at the time but it is now very clear that we were the epitome of a modern family and doing our best to make the most of the brave new, post nuclear age.

(source; Invention of Childhood BBC Four Extra)