Monday 30 January 2017

Just a Swift One Then

I was fascinated and amused by a short excerpt from a radio show today where one of the guests spoke about his championing of Tom Swifties.

I had not heard of this term before although in listening to the broadcast I came to the swift realiseation that most of my life has been spent as an unwitting perpertrator of it.

So what is a Tom Swiftie?

It is a play on words that follows an unvarying pattern and relies for its humour on a punning relationship between the way an adverb describes a speaker and at the same time refers significantly to the import of the speaker's statement.

In plain English it is where a very corny pun is attached to a seemingly straightforward sentence to get a laugh or a groan.

The original Tom Swift was a character in a serialised "Boys Own" stylised work by author Edward L. Stratemeyer (1862-1930). The hero appeared in such books as "Shorthand Tom; or, the exploits of a young reporter", serialised in 1894. Incidentally and better known to those of my generation was Stratemeyers writings about Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys which was televised in the 1970's.

The author loathed to use "said" in any of the dialogue revolving around the main character and so just about everything else was used to conclude a sentence as in "he...asserted, asseverated, averred, chuckled, declared, ejaculated, expostulated, grinned, groaned, quipped, or smiled"

It was not very long before someone decided to satirise the mannerism by using puns, and the so Tom Swifty was born.

There are many collections of Tom Swifties compiled by academics, linguists, comics and those who just enjoy word play and punning for its own sake.

James Joyce in his Ullysses is given credit for "they were jeung and freudened" although other examples pre-date those of Stratemeyer.

One particularly comprehensive source of Tom Swifties is The Canonical Collection by Mark Israel.

http://www.ccp14.ac.uk/ccp/web-mirrors/xtalview-mcree/pub/dem-web/misrael/TomSwifties.html

I have picked out a few of those which appealed to my sense of humour.

"The executioner has received the tool he needs", said Tom with a heavy accent.

"I'm wearing my wedding ring", said Tom with abandon.

"I insist on naming the first male insect", said Tom adamantly.

"Those hookers are putting notices in the personals", Tom advised.

"England is okay, except there seems to be at least one blood-sucking insect in every outhouse", said Tom aloofly.

"We had trouble with the propulsion systems for those moon flights", said the NASA engineer apologetically.

"Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I sleep in a wigwam; Tuesdays, Thursdays, and weekends I sleep in a teepee", said Tom very attentively.

"My wife is going to have a test tube baby", Tom injected artificially.

"That city will never be rebuilt", the prophets babble on.

"I just swallowed a fishing lure", said Tom with baited breath.

"My pants are too tight", Tom burst out.

"One can't dispute the fundamental importance of learning the alphabet", Abie ceded.

"I'm having an affair with my gamekeeper", said the lady chattily.

"I'm writing a poem about the rebels in Nicaragua", said Tom controversially.

"I can't be drowning in African waters!" pleaded Tom, deep in denial.

"All I ever do is fly unmanned aircraft", Tom droned.

"I used to command a battalion of German ants", said Tom exuberantly.

"Have it monogrammed", was Tom's initial suggestion.

"I collect fairy tales", said Tom grimly.

"Have you anything by Hugo?" asked Les miserably.

"Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete!" Tom repeated.

"I don't think I'll have the pickled fish today", said Tom unerringly.

" I expect to catch the world's largest freshwater species" said Tom superficially.

There are on going competitions globally to submit your own Tom Swifties of which "there seems to be no end "he said ad infinitum or at least until you get sick of it he finished ad nauseum.

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