Gone for a Burton

An Executive of a sweet manufacturer was challenged by a customer about changes in one of their longstanding and traditional trademark products. 

The complainant was, as they say, of a certain age. 

That descriptive term meant to me, when I was growing up in my teenage years, a person of about 30 years old. 

That sort of seniority was certainly representative of an ancient soul to my generation at that time. 

However, as I have grown older “a certain age” has naturally changed proportionately to the effect that in my twenties it was forties, thirties to fifties and when I reached that 40 bracket it referred to persons in the fifty plus range. 

I will be 55 years old in a few months time and have come to the full realisation that, yes, I am now firmly of that category. It is not all bad. 

Well, I mean by that there are marginally more positives than downsides. 

My age explains and to a large extent excuses my behaviour in many, many situations that I find myself in. 

For example, I love seeing live performances of music and theatre but insist on doing this from a sensible and comfortable seat rather than stand in the middle of a concert hall floor for hours. 

Certain noises cause me anxiety and stress, the most common being an over revving car travelling too fast or being driven inappropriately along a pedestrian or cyclist dotted street. 

I am no longer prepared to just “go with the flow” as was indeed my philosophy in earlier times and insist on something more like a fixed schedule and timetable for travelling, eating and everything else confronted in a normal day. 

I am opening myself up to criticism from even close family for being boring and unadventurous but that is not entirely true. I am still up for anything at any time but it just has to be meticulously planned and predictable. That’s all. 

Anyway, back to the opening scenario of the confrontation between the confectioner and a member of the general public, actually a very loyal and faithful customer who would defend the reputation of that company’s products and brands to the very end. 

The specific goodie in this case is well known and had been in sweet shops and supermarkets for decades. 

If I describe it in its generic form you will easily guess the maker and item. 

Imagine a sort of sandwich construction of five layers although if seen in a cut through cross section there is a symmetry and duplication of the bands from top to bottom. 

The sequence goes chocolate, biscuit, mallow, biscuit, chocolate but in actuality there are just three elements in that arrangement. Please note that I am faithful to the absence of jam in the original mix. 

This combination gives a soft, squishy texture which conceals the crunch of the outer choccy veneer and the biscuit wedges. 

The taste experience is, as a consequence, a surprise and a delight not just to those trying it for the first time but seasoned enthusiasts as well. 

The revelation that the snack item is perfectly round is a bit of a giveaway and no doubt the focus group to whom the product was presented for suggested names were spoiled for suggestions. 

The actual famous name may seem a bit dated and olde worlde but you must remember that the item first appeared in 1948. It was the post war era of optimism and also the halcyon era for the movie genre of Cowboys and Westerns. 

The solid chocolate encased circle could not conceivably have been named by the principal manufacturers as anything other than “Wagon Wheel”. 

Over the years it became a mainstay of the packed lunch, the after school and pre-teatime treat, a party favourite and one of the first things to be placed in the shopping trolley in the ritual of the weekly family shop. 

However, there has been a quiet revolution in recent years in the world of the Wagon Wheel and this has not gone unnoticed by its regular consumers. 

It appears to have reduced in size. 

The originally crimped edges that were nice to snap off in your teeth as a precursor to the anticipated multi flavoured and textured sandwich were planed off for a smooth outer edge. 

This assault on food heritage has not been confined to this product. 

We, of a certain age, have seen the walnuts being removed from Whips, Toblerone pyramids reduced to mere hiccups of nougat and chocolate, Milky Bars contracting to wafer thin bars and of particular affront to me personally, the sale of Sherbet Fountains in lidded plastic tubes rather than the old soggy prone paper with brittle exposed liquorice stick. Other famous brands have been renamed as company's have failed, merged, been bought out or have just disappeared altogether.

As for the defence by that Wagon Wheel manufacturer to his interrogation?

Well, they claim that those of a certain age who perceive that they have shrunk are relying on childhood memories when of course our immature hands were that much smaller. 

The cheek of it! As if we would be fooled by that.