Just coming to the final letters in this tribute to the BBC Radio Comedy Show, "I'm Sorry I haven't a clue".
The letter "U" is actually one of the least quoted in the show and so I have supplanted a few of my own interpretations which I hope you will find in the spirt of those painstakingly listed by the ultimate superfan Kevin Hales.
If you just imagine the superb timing and exceptional delivery of the many greats of the comedy scene then perhaps my efforts will just about be acceptable. Here goes...........................
Undertaker a half hearted shoplifter
Urdu what you get in a Liverpool salon
Upholstery the first floor of a pub
Umbrage a bit of an argument between two umbrella users
Undercarriage being run over by a train
Uretha a soul singer taking the piss
Usury Japanese for usually
Unimpressed extracting a typesetter from the machinery
Uganda encouragement to have a look
Unscrew a single prison warder in France
Unholy a vest but not made of string
Uranus rudely pointing at someones derriere
Unicorn The worst joke ever
Undeterred A skid mark
Unison Male only child
Undermine The person on the ground floor of the maisonette you live in
Underpants A man trying to disguise his poor level of fitness in front of a woman
Utopia A valid remedy for a jellyfish sting on your foot
Underdog A successful arrest by a police dog handler
Umpteen Adolescent sexual activity
Upstairs Star gazing
Useful In think you've had enough to eat
Urban a lady driver loses her licence
Upset to get a better television
Uncanny open a tin of beans
Umpire a hesitant Count Dracula
Urchin Telling Kirk Douglas about his best attribute
Upstart a high quality call girl
Unique encouragement to steal
Undergraduate starting to count students in French
Unite an impromptu sexual encounter
Universe a very short poem
Until a shopkeeper goes to the bank with the days takings
Upkeep a castle on a hill
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