Saturday 23 January 2021

English Lesson 21

Just coming to the final letters in this tribute to the BBC Radio Comedy Show, "I'm Sorry I haven't a clue". 

The letter "U" is actually one of the least quoted in the show and so I have supplanted a few of my own interpretations which I hope you will find in the spirt of those painstakingly listed by the ultimate superfan Kevin Hales. 

If you just imagine the superb timing and exceptional delivery of the many greats of the comedy scene then perhaps my efforts will just about be acceptable. Here goes...........................

Undertaker        a half hearted shoplifter

Urdu                  what you get in a Liverpool salon

Upholstery         the first floor of a pub

Umbrage            a bit of an argument between two umbrella users

Undercarriage    being run over by a train

Uretha                a soul singer taking the piss

Usury                Japanese for usually

Unimpressed    extracting a typesetter from the machinery

Uganda            encouragement to have a look

Unscrew           a single prison warder in France

Unholy             a vest but not made of string

Uranus              rudely pointing at someones derriere

Unicorn             The worst joke ever

Undeterred         A skid mark

Unison               Male only child

Undermine        The person on the ground floor of the maisonette you live in

Underpants        A man trying to disguise his poor level of fitness in front of a woman

Utopia                A valid remedy for a jellyfish sting on your foot

Underdog           A successful arrest by a police dog handler

Umpteen            Adolescent sexual activity

Upstairs              Star gazing

Useful                In think you've had enough to eat

Urban                 a lady driver loses her licence

Upset                  to get a better television

Uncanny             open a tin of beans

Umpire               a hesitant Count Dracula

Urchin                Telling Kirk Douglas about his best attribute

Upstart                a high quality call girl

Unique                encouragement to steal

Undergraduate     starting to count students in French

Unite                   an impromptu sexual encounter 

Universe              a very short poem

Until                     a shopkeeper goes to the bank with the days takings

Upkeep                 a castle on a hill



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