Laugh Out Loud

If you are feeling at all down in the dumps I can recommend to you the radio archive of the BBC comedy show "I'm sorry I haven't a clue". Now in something like their 65th series it is a sheer joy and delight to listen to the wordplay and banter of a vast array of great personalities from British entertainment , in fact an A to Z of writers, performers and witty individuals from the last few decades. The following is a very small sample of a game played on the radio show where alternative definitions are proposed for the Uxbridge Dictionary. 

Adultery: What happens after puberty.

Allocate: Greeting for example, to Ms Winslet.

Alternative: To modify a member of the indigenous population.

Bicker: Even more of a ballpoint pen

Bideford: Mass produced car for old ladies

Bigamist: A particularly heavy fog

Boycott: A small bed for a male child.

Bratwurst: The very naughtiest of children.

Britanny: A bit like Britain.

Brouhaha: A hilarious drink.

Buckingham: A rodeo pig.

Busking: Owner of many buses.

Butresses: Lustrous bottom hair

Canopy: Tin of urine.

Capitulate: The mistake BP made in the Gulf of Mexico.

Car Park: How Noah saved the fishes from the great flood.

Castanet: To go fishing.

Chinwags: Wives and girlfriends of Bruce Forsyth

Conservatory; A method  of pickling Boris Johnson

Depend: Opposite the shallow end.

Dialogue: An awful piece of wood.

Dialysis: To ring your sister.

Dreadlocks: Fear of canal holidays.

Endear: This is where it stops.

Escalator: An Australian word meaning to delay the questioning of a lady.

Example: Much thinner.

Exorbitant: The now retired first insect astronaut.

Extractor fan: One who used to like farm machinery.

Farthing: Something a long way off.

Fauna: A whirlpool bath for young deer.

Feasible: Able to charge for.

Felicity: To knock London over.

Final: The last thing you hammer into a coffin.

Finish: A bit like a Finn

Giblets: Very small gibs.

Gladiator: An unrepentant cannibal.

Goblet: A very small mouth.

Godspeed: It’s raining.

Grandstand: A shelf designed to display a large quantity of money.

Grapple: A cross between a grape and an apple.

Gregorian: Someone unsure of his name.

Hamstring: Underwear for pigs.

Handicap: A very useful hat.

Herbivore: An animal that only eats Volkswagon Beetles.

Hollyhock: The act of pawning Christmas decorations.

Likelihood: Probably a gangster

Mirth: A French moth

Perspire: How a steeplejack charges

Pot Pourri; The smell of a dry Teletubbie

Referendum; The last time I ask you about anything

Shootout: Someone selling shoes on the black market

Windscreen; Underpants