I have made the decision not to become an airline pilot. I do have some aptitude for the job in that I can read a map, even upside down, and I look pretty good in a uniform with a hat. I used to buy my work trousers from a large manufacturer's factory shop and they were rejected stock from a large order with British Airways. I felt at home in them. I developed a Pilots attitude and swagger. I could not afford the obligatory sunglasses.The absolutely decisive factor in my thought process has been my long term dedication to the improper use of the 'Miles to Zero' function on the trip computer in my car. I could see myself getting into some bother if I applied this same sorry practice to a career in the flying seat. I have not, as yet, run out of fuel through my reckless gambling on the accuracy of the range function but could well imagine the havoc, upset and carnage arising from an airborne first for running on empty. It was just today that my computer showed that I had a 10 mile window of opportunity to find a petrol station. Unfortunately, I was well aware that the nearest re-fuelling stop on this occasion was at least 12 to 13 miles away over quite a remote and undulating rural area. I was forced to adopt my contingency practice of getting up to cruising speed and then knocking the car into neutral and freewheeling for as long as possible before dropping down to a speed to cause distress, inconvenience and annoyance to fellow road users. On a hilly route this is quite viable and with no significant broadcasting of the fact to other motorists that the car is technically out of mechanical control and not adhered to the road by traction and drive. I did manage a few full cycles of freewheeling through a downward slope and up the other side before engaging fourth gear to get back to the national speed limit ready for the next obstacle. Over a keenly measured 8 miles further, on the separate analog trip computer, my critical range figure did not change from the 10 miles to go. Something economical, frugal and therefore, by definition of lower environmental impact was taking shape. On a nice straight road with minimal perceived gradient I actually bowled along surprisingly well without using up my scarce fossil based fuel. I thought that I had discovered the secret of perpetual motion when in fact, I was driving very, very close to the car in front and getting a good slipstreaming effect. This, in effect, fuel saving or fuel conservation measure caused me to speculate on the engineering that would be required to make this available to all motor vehicles in order to increase the timescale for the inevitable depletion of the world's resource of oil. My car has a Bluemotion technology badge and set-up giving very good fuel consumption indeed. There is a rather annoying display prompting me to change gear for maximum efficiency so how difficult would it be to have a similar display to indicate when to disengage the engine and indulge in a bit of freewheeling? The physics would involve computerised correlation between speed and resistance which are already programmed into modern cars. It may be necessary to design in an inclinomter or gyroscope but I am sure that these are lying around NASA workshops like popcorn on a cinema floor.The theory is that the motorist would not have to do anything apart from apply common sense and use an overide button or ejector seat when freewheeling became a hazard or a bit anti-social. It may be that fen dwellers or those who very rarely stray out of their deep valley homes would benefit from my proposals but they must rely on other oil based products and would enjoy a spin-off advantage on that basis. The more I contemplate my proposal the more achievable it certainly appears. I can envisage the Readers Digest Book of the Road having colour coded route planners showing the most suitable freewheeling routes between the major towns and cities. This rationale may make it superbly fuel-wise to travel from Hull to London via the Pennines, Welsh Mountains and Malvern Hills before sweeping in to the capital from Highgate Hill. Unfortunately the prolonging of the worlds oil supply would be at the cost of taking about 2 days for the journey which would normally take just about three hours. Whilst not likely to be acceptable as a consideration today or even tomorrow I will put my idea on ice for about a decade then wheel, or free wheel it out to a very grateful human race.I do therefore have plenty of time to apply a fancy scientific name to my theory. Currently, 'Pulse Technology' is in pole position although I am warming to 'Pump and Run' or the abbreviated "MiSER" which stands for the ever so ecological "Miles Saving Earth Resources". I may negotiate a share of royalties for any other name suggestions if forwarded to me over the next, say, 5 to 8 years.
I have yet to calculate the value to humanity of my speculative genius but at least 1 million Nectar points, a collection of wine glasses, a coin collection of the history of flight , an incomplete collection of plastic figures of the England football team or the equivalent in Green Shield Stamps would appear to be a good starting offer.
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