Rhubarb, Rhubarb

There are many new technologies being marketed to homeowners or those, in particular thinking of building their own house on the unique selling points of being Ecological, Environmentally Friendly and Ethical. The magazine displays at WH Smiths are crammed full of such publications under titles appealing to  architectural uniqueness, green and enviro homes, use of re-cycled materials, building with straw, barn conversions and the key element, admit it, making a big stack of money upon resale. I do get the feeling from watching TV's Grand Designs that the featured couples are undertaking a back breaking and potentially financially ruinous project because their lives are unfulfilled in so many other areas. I cite the Eastern European model where young and in love partners build a house during their courting years, finish it, get married and then upon immediate divorce they split the reasonable accrued proceeds and start again. Human Society mimics the birds and the bees.....discuss. Solar Panels are beginning to sprout on south facing roof slopes in my area. A very obvious commitment is expressed, by the array of smoked glass rectangular frames, to benefitting the environment but again the best intentions come down to money issues. Currently there are very significant incentives to turn a perfectly good roof into a power plant. Free electricity to the homeowner and a financial return over the long term from selling surplus to the National Grid. Anyone north of Nottingham may struggle to meet the marketing claims for the benefits of photo-voltaic cells. There are organisations who will consider paying rent for your roof to mount panels to exploit for commercial gain the subsidies and grants for solar installations, that is if you live south of Nottingham. I have also come across heat source and air source heat pumps in new build housing. The former involves drilling into and tapping the natural heat in the ground to provide a warmer inflow of water requiring less energy from normal gas, electricty or oil fuels to boost to conventional temperature. The latter can be likened to a windmill in a box and absorbs heat from the outside air. People north of Nottingham, again, do not get too excited by this alternative technology. Under floor heating is in fashion again after 1500 years of limited uptake. I am not convinced of it's longer term acceptance by the English who really like radiators as bum-warmers and impromptu clothes dryers. All of these innovations relate to heating. Perhaps the greatest benefit to the environment would come from a similar level of sales and marketing for disposal of waste and effluent. The Chinese have a very healthy approach to disposal of human waste. It is spread on the fields to fertilise crops and enrich the soils.Historically, the night soil from our own towns and cities was removed by cart to be deposited beyond the built up area. Muck Garth is frequently shown on old maps. In this country, the first whiff in the air of anything less than the fragrance of rose petals causes uproar and complaint whether originating from farming activities or a freak wind blown odour from the local sewage works. A truly ecological approach would be for every house to have a reed bed system for cleansing and dissipation of effluent into the environment. However, this will never happen. Density of new housing is increasing as is an exponential growth in the number of toilets in each house. I must get around to buying shares in Kimberley Clark, the worlds largest loo paper manufacture particularly as even the smallest 2 bed new house has three WC's- cloakroom, bathroom and en suite. This can increase easily to 6 WC's in a bog-standard 4 bed executive calibre detached house if all are en suite.Homeowners also have some firm views on not shitting in their own back yards.  Alternative foul disposal includes a worm based system. Basically, the poop is done into an organic mulch inhabited by worms who naturally degrade the waste leaving an aerated residue. If this can then be put on the garden I am all for it. If the worms are then useable for fishing I will sign up immediately to this system. Perhaps commercial companies will rent out the worms to you and then farm them for sale to angling shops, even if you do live north of Nottingham.

My global answer to the problem of the disposal of human effleunt is borrowed with little or no requirement for tweaking or technological change from an old farmstead way out in the rural areas between Hull and the coast. The two seater earth closet meets all requirements for eco and environmental criteria. The twin holed seat is fashioned from one plank of wood, renewable and sustainable. The compartment is externally housed with ventilated space above and below the door so very healthy and naturally heated. The soil in the bottom of the closet is just soil , nothing fancy and naturally soil fragranced. The closet, being 2 seated can be shared with economies of scale for time spent in the dunny. I could imagine two farmworkers passing many hours of the day in close conversation and shared humility from the experience. After the business is done a fresh spadeful of soil covers the waste. Newspaper sheets, draped over a piece of string on the back of the door will satisfy a recycling ethic. When the closet is close to capacity the contents can be shovelled out and by the late summer there will be a fantastic crop of rhubarb in the garden. It is a win, win proposal on all counts. Of course the well tried and tested operation will have to be sugar-coated for wider acceptance today. The 2 seater could be housed in a small, tasteful shed like structure in the garden or with a link corridor from a conservatory. Dwellers in high rise flats could have the same secured to the outside wall with a shute arrangement down to a ground level collection point. House-boat occupiers would require a small floating dinghy. Of course, those living alone by choice or circumstance can opt for a single seater version. I can see endless possibilities and distinct advantages for the environment through these measures. Of course, there is always the chance that the Intellectual Rights for this innovation may be purchased by those with vested interests in seeing it fail. I fear a backlash, in particular from rhubarb growers faced with a plummeting unit price when everyone grows their own.