Fee Fi Fo Fum

It is important in modern parenting to be truthful but also entertaining as far as bringing up the children is concerned. Sometimes one of these stipulations may be at the expense of the other. This is where the myths and legends are born that stay in the memory of your children forever. They remain fresh and alive because they served to excite, stimulate and to be honest, petrify, young, formative and inquisitive minds at the time.

Even when they reach adulthood, when things gets a bit more serious, this memory resource kicks in and reminds them that ,at heart, they are still children, your children. Their fondest recollections may be based on a complete fabrication of nonsense but that is perfectly fine because they have assimilated all the information themselves and have come to their own reasoned understanding which will serve them well for the rest of their lives.

Take the story told to our three children about the invisible giant who lived in the next street to ours.

He/she/it, not wanting to judge giants on a gender basis, would be sat up on the telephone wires every time we walked to town from our house.

We would gradually pick up speed as we approached the cut through snicket over which the giant had a great vantage point. The children would skulk along, heads down in order to avoid any form of eye contact with the creature. I may have mentioned that people could be turned to stone in such an event. What a ridiculous thing to say to impressionable children. Everyone knows that it is the Gorgons that do that to onlookers. A giant is more inclined to just eat you and grind your bones as a substitute for flour for home baking -possibly a sign of intolerance to wheat products.

Perhaps I should not have provided a running commentary on what the giant was doing as we passed by under his swinging feet but it felt right to keep the children up to date with the behavioural traits of such an uncommon creature for our local area.

The high fencing flanking the snicket, when we eventually reached it, did provide some shelter from the persistent staring and drooling of the grumpy giant and we were glad to duck into the narrow passage after being stuck out in the open of the roadway.

From the relative sanctuary of our refuge we could glance back timidly at the sight of the telephone wire sagging and straining under the great flabby weight of that fearsome and intimidating figure. We always planned to come back by another, much longer but definitely safer route as laden with bulging shopping bags we could be easily picked off one by one.

The giant resided there for many, many years but behaviour and attitude towards us did not improve with familiarity.

As the children grew up and got more independent they did not feel that they wanted to go on the usual trips to the shops with their parents and started to go out with their friends, firstly on their scooters and bikes and then by bus and later by car. The treading of the usual path under the malevolent gaze of the giant was no longer a large part of our lives.

We moved house, a little further away and had no cause to use the snicket as a cut through to town. Many years later I found myself on that street but sadly the giant had upped and left. I conveyed the news to my now older teenage children and we were a bit sad but also optimistic that the giant had moved on to somewhere with a better view than a residential street.

Personally I blamed the telephone company for driving the giant away. I suppose that they have a responsibilty to replace wires where the outer weatherproof cover has separated from the actual cable and hangs down as though under the haunches of a fantastical but clinically obese mythical entity.