Storm Front

Apparently there is a big storm front approaching the UK.

It is difficult to gauge what the Meteorological Office mean by an advanced warning of this type.

Is it code-speak for "uh-oh the end of the world is coming" or just a bit of a hype so that if anything lesser but still massive comes in from the Atlantic then we have been placed on alert.

There is in fact, and as humankind well know through the millennia, very little we can actually do against the forces of nature even if forewarned if not able to be forearmed. King Canute learned the hard way about that.

I have however given an appropriate weighting to the level of public hazard being indicated.

I live almost in the top of the trees, that being explained by the fact that the house is three storey and overlooks a public park.

To the front are some sizeable horse chestnut trees, now considerably lighter in their canopies after having been given a right battering by the local children in search of the crop of conkers and through the natural shedding of the leaf cover .The bedroom window is at middle branch level and I am regularly eye to eye with the resident population of grey squirrels who skip about, always busy and seemingly themselves making preparations for some apocalyptic event, or just hibernation season. One squirrel recently verbally abused me in a manner that both shocked and surprised me. Shocked because I do not recall ever having heard the creatures make a noise before and surprised because I don't think we had met before.

Having quite recently moved into the house and not inheriting any curtains or blinds (bought a sofa and two armchairs instead) there is a fascinating play of shadows on the bedroom wall by the light of the flickeringly faulty streetlamp during the night. Framed in the darkness there is the ebb and flow in the projected size of the boughs of the nearest chestnut tree. If awakened I use the silhouetted show as a sort of counting sheep exercise to try to drop off again. It can be quite effective as a relaxation technique but I am fearful of the terrifying manifestation of a giant squirrel shape looming up as one of their number makes their way home after a night out getting nuts or whatever.

In our few weeks in residence we have had some windy times but with the house being in a staggered echelon of similar properties and orientated north to south we have not yet borne the brunt of any gales or strong breezes.

Modern double glazing is also pretty good at excluding the sound of a storm and it is necessary to actually open a window and lean out to get any inkling of how violent the weather system is. There is a tree at the back of the house on what is our land and that may not fare as well in cyclonic conditions. It is of a weeping variety and with quite a bit of elasticity in its upper parts so that in just a stiff breeze it gives the impression of imminent collapse and failure. It also has no benefit of shelter from the prevailing westerly's and so may be an interesting indicator of the severity of the predicted storm.

Otherwise, I have ensured that the fridge is full and I have a bit of catch-up to do on DVD's and reading if best advised to stay put and sit out the bad weather. This is all well and good if, of course, the power supply remains unaffected so as back up I did panic buy some candles and stock up on torch batteries. I appeared to be the only person of a nervous disposition down at the local stores and stocking up for the event. The local population showed no urgency in arranging builders to check that their chimney pots and vulnerable masonry were well bedded in. I did not note anyone acting as advised to secure garden furniture and loose fence panels. The large DIY outlet did not have a ready supply of sandbags in case of tidal surge but did prominently display a vast array of fireworks.

I suppose that if we are in fact saved from the impending Armageddon it will be more than appropriate to blow something up in celebration.