Play Away

The all white ,unblemished van, excepting the logo of the Local Authority, sped past my line of vision at the roundabout junction.

I did not catch sight of who was sitting up front but upon reading the small print below the logo of  "Play Area Inspection Team" I half expected to have seen two burly employees wearing clown suits or at least with their faces blathered and stained with the coloured pigment from high sugar content Chupa-Chups lollies.
A jolly single balloon on a string flapping around the back doors of the van would also have been a nice and fitting touch.

I can appreciate the need for such a service having experienced some frightful recreation grounds, public parks and play areas during my most attentive parenting period with the children when they were very young.

The graffitti covered climbing frames, swings, roundabouts and see-saws were a testament to poor attention to spelling although the general gist of who was willing to do what to whom and for how much was quite clear and unambiguous. It took some very vague and non-commital explaining to distract curious young minds.

The surrounding area was also a minefield of discarded lager cans, shattered cider bottles, crisp packets and confectionery wrappers. It was a relief to find that alcoholism had taken over as a career ambition from that horrible nicotine drugged smoking lark amongst the local teenagers. I challenge anyone to deny that their local recreation ground figured highly in their courting habits. The current trend appears to be as a sordid venue for sexual exploits given the amount of prophylactics adorning the place like stalactites.

I was understandably shocked to read in the local newspaper that my local Reccy was a major market place for drug dealing.

So, in summary the play areas of today accommodate everything apart from being a venue for actual play.

A posh housing development in a nearby commuter village boasted in it's marketing literature that it featured a fenced children's play area. Not so much a philanthropic gesture as a means of securing concessions from the Planning Authority  in terms of a higher volume of housing, euphemistically termed Planning Gain. The development was in high demand and a good number of off-plan and pre-sales were agreed with a handshake and a non refundable deposit. Unfortunately, under the due diligence of lawyers acting for individual purchasers, the open ended liability for any injury or worse arising from use of the play area would leave all the residents jointly and severally responsible for any civil actions and damages arising. Clients were advised to pull out on the basis of the nightmare scenario. Panic ensued, money and jobs were on the line for the developer. The Council stepped in and took over the playground. Peace, tranquility and order were restored to the universe.

My own childhood memories of play areas are reinforced by a few persistent scars on knees, elbows and face. They were rough and tough areas. Use of a particular item of equipment was strictly on a first come, biggest kid or scary mum basis. There were frequent injuries and maimings for those who unwittingly or intentionally wandered into the reach of an occupied and high impact swing, on either the forward sweep or the back-climb. Trying to get onto a high speed roundabout, without any comprehension of physics, momentum or understanding of giroscopic motion was foolish but a challenge. Use of the stainless steel slide could be sticky and slow or unbelievably fast and this could vary very much on a visit to visit basis. Who could predict what would happen? The see-saw was equally hazardous and many a spinal column injury , snapped collar bone or skull fracture was indeed an expectation of play.

My wife had a problematic tustle with a piece of play equipment as a young child with a consequence being that one of her eyeballs popped out of its socket.

I hospitalised my younger sister in exercising a dramatic dismount of a see saw.

Many a time a playmate cascaded through an array of monkey bars like a ball bearing through a pin ball machine.

In all circumstances, barring paralysis and coma , we just picked ourselves up. I usually cried a bit, tied  a clean handkerchief onto any abrasions or blooded areas and moved on to the next apparatus, if it had suddenly become free.

My last supervision at a commmunity play area emphasised the impact of a health and safety culture. The surfaces under what remained of the apparatus were in a soft rubberised matting. Anything that swung, propelled, slid or elevated had been removed and replaced with a spring mounted caterpillar figure that rocked back and forth. That was it. I have observed a welcome return to activity based play in more recent years with basketball courts, 5 a side football courts and all-weather pitches but the spirit of unrestricted play has been lost for ever. I expect the main role of the Play Area Inspection Team is to sit menacingly in their van and discourage any children from coming anywhere near the play area.

(first produced 2 years ago)