Q

The art of queueing is the speciality of the British.

It is something to do with us being a conservative people. We are naturally reserved and cautious and not therefore prone to becoming too excitable or emotional in contrast to our European cousins and those farther afield.

I find this surprising as a trait in that you would fully expect those living in a cold to temperate climate to want to do something wild on a regular basis to get the blood and body temperature warmed up a bit.

I have been part of a queue today.

It was a typically long straggling line of persons in groups or on their own arranged around the outer perimeter of Hull City's still striking but now and amazingly 12 year old stadium.

The reason?

Well, the release of tickets for the prestigious FA Cup Final at Wembley on 17th May 2014.

Out of a total of in excess of 90,000 seats only a mere 25,000 have been made available for the team supporters and followers. This is a bit disappointing in that more than this number trailed down a mere two weeks ago for the semi final.

Demand and desperation is expected to be high and I hear that some bright spark has already advertised a ticket of face value £55 for more than ten times through the internet market place. Personally the sellers should be tracked down and named and shamed for what is blatant profiteering and gross anti-social behaviour. The pride of a belegured city in reaching such a great occasion should not be subject to what is euphemistically referred to as market forces, the law of supply and demand or in plain speak, touting or exploitation.

I have a 25% chance of getting to the final.

Phil, my honorary brother in law has really gone out to get me there but there is a possibility that he may not.

This is down to the reason for our presence together in the queue on a misty, damp and perishingly cold April morning.

Phil has two passes for the South Stand giving entitlement in the hierarchy of ticket sales to just two. Over a number of successive days this week the other holders have similarly stood in well ordered line. The permutations for ticket allocation have been complex making most of the mumbo jumbo of say, Easy Jet flight regulations , seemingly remedial.

On a basic calculation of say 15,000 pass holders and up to 10,000 corporate seat holders there will be no surplus for general sale at all on the allotted day of May 6th. If you make allowances for say, hospitalisation, births, deaths, marriages, work commitments, kidnap and forced fleeing of an average proportion of the population then a small handful of tickets may work their way back into the system.

The opposing team, Arsenal have been somewhat insulted by their matching allocation in that their average home gate at The Emirates is close to its capacity of 60,000 whereas the KC in Hull is just pushing 25,000 if away fans bother to turn up.

In the typically good spirit of the Football Association the balance of tickets, up to 40,000, are distributed to grass roots organisations for what remains the conclusion of the greatest football challenge competition in the world. I am still however a bit sceptical that there will be a full attendance on the day in that most people find Arsenal a bit boring and the rest are not really sure what Hull is.

I felt a bit sneaky making my way up the outside of the queue but with a coffee in  hand I must have looked like a long serving participant who had just nipped out to try to warm up a bit. I telephoned to find out how far up the line Phil was and he gave me a succinct reference of "just past a green wheelie bin" and "looking onto parking space 182". I was with receipt of this information just walking on bay 187 and Phil popped out from the huddle.

He welcomed the beverage after having already spent two hours in the cold and I helped in pouring in the UHT milk, two twists of demerara and then retrieving a black biro out of my macintosh I gave a bit of a stir. This caused a mixture of horror and  amusement amongst the queueing neighbours and that set the tone for the good natured atmosphere for the following hour and a half.

Those emerging from the distant ticket office having acheived their aim insisted on flaunting the oversized perforated items as they made their way back to the car park.

The progress of the line was agonisingly slow and ponderous. There was however no anxiety or niggling behaviour and no looking out for others stealing a few places. The only thing missing was perhaps a small musical ensemble, North Atlantic starlight and a bloody big and menacing iceberg.

The family immediately in front comprised four generations and their Hull City stories covered most of the glory,glory days of lets face it one of the greatest under-acheiving teams in FA history given the population of the city itself,.

I joked a bit about how much I liked queueing and was this the queue for the Primark seconds sale, for Coldplay tickets or Alton Towers.

Then it started to rain.

Phil and myself were by then just at the entrance to the ticket office and the warmth of the air blowers above the doors reached our frozen faces as though we had just emerged into the sunshine from a period of solitary confinement.

The actual grubby part of the whole process in handing over the cash was a bit of an anti-climax.

Phil pocketed the tickets and we parted in good spirits.

Job done. Well, in reality half the job.

We actually need  a total of four tickets for our proposed expeditionary force to Wembley. Like the same number relating to musketeers I insist that it is all for one and one for all and so I have tried to call in a few favours.

I even asked in the local chippy if they knew of anyone with spares. The hunt goes on...........