The UK Border Agency staff were mightily sceptical at the story provided by the small brown bear as to how he had made his way to Britain.
In a comfort break one of the assessors found at the back of his desk drawer a battered old pocket atlas. The claim that the bear had made the journey from the west coast of South America entirely in a lifeboat was fantastical in the extreme. Using the width of his forefinger after gauging it against the scale rule at the bottom of the South Atlantic atlas map sheet the distance was certainly in excess of 12000 miles if not greater. Add to this the inhospitable climactic conditions of an ocean not too far from Antarctica and a rudimentary knowledge of Capes and Reefs from an enthusiastic reading of Patrick O'Brien naval novels and it was clear that the bear was, at best, delusional and at worst a big liar.
The story recounted by the diminutive creature was one of hardship and tragedy revolving around the decision of his uncle on whom he was dependant for everything to go to a retirement home in Lima leaving him alone.
He had been forced to consider migration to another country.
It was clear in the minds of the Border Agency Staff ,upon taking an inventory of his belongings, that the bear did have the characteristics of a refugee.
He had no real possessions or means of financial support.
The only material items were an old hat, a bit Napoleon-ish if worn askew, a battered cardboard suitcase with a secret compartment and a thick winter coat in the style of a college graduate's duffle coat.
There were no distinguishing marks on the clothing and the only prospect of identification were a sticker attached to to the carcass of the suitcase bearing the words "Wanted on Voyage" and a weather worn and blotchy inked label tied up with string pleading for someone to "please look after this bear".
The general health of the bear did appear robust and the results of a blood test did not indicate any contagious or debilitating illness.
In fact, the laboratory upon providing the results had drawn attention to a very high blood sugar level and more than ample Vitamin C. Upon questioning on this by the UKBA the lab technician speculated that the bear must have existed on a diet existing wholly of a pectin and gelatine based fruit mix- perhaps marmalade.
There was a history of migration to the UK by the compatriots of the small animal and indeed Peruvians made up the sixth largest group of immigrants of Latin-American origin.
In 2001 Government Statistics indicated that 4066 former residents of that country had settled in Britain although they had arrived in dribs and drabs. Over the ten year period from 1997 the annual arrivals to these shores had ranged from a low 65 persons (but no bears) to a peak of 230 (again zero of bear species).
Further interrogation of the hairy creature revealed that he had no real skills to support a case for residency in the UK.
He did not appear to be a political animal and had no real comprehension of the situation in Peru where the country was run as a Presidential Representative Democratic Republic.
There was no record, upon enquiry to the Peruvian Embassy of membership of any party or movement, not even for a hibernating animal, the aptly named National Awakening Party.
A disaffected youth or phase of being radicalised did not appear to be the case and both Shining Path and Tupac Amoru Revolutionary Movement had not counted him in their brotherhood which they did seem very keen to emphasise through the secret network of communications that exist in the grubby co-existence of terrorists and the Security Services.
In all areas of enquiry the UKBA drew a blank.
The bear was no threat nor someone forced to flee. His ambitions were modest, he alluded to a dream of living with a middle class family in a leafy suburban street and developing a close circle of friends and associates, perhaps encountering a few adventures in the process.
He had no dependants back home to whom he could send any Benefits or Tax Credits. He knew nothing of plumbing, electrical systems or working in a labour gang picking seasonal vegetables and fruit. He was not learned or trained in any profession and certainly had no vast monetary resources to help lobby for UK residency amongst the high, mighty and influential.
The decision of the UKBA was a difficult one as it could not be based on any of the tried and tested methods of assessment.
In the interim he was to be transported and detained at the nearest Police Station to the Agency Office.
Thus the small bear found himself at Paddington Green.
The Desk Sergeant, booking the sad animal into custody, was unable to extract an actual formal name for the case file and so simply wrote across the corner of the paperwork "Paddington Bear- to be returned to deepest, darkest Peru".
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