Off yer Trolley

It is not the thing to inflict puddles on supermarket customers.

To this end you will find that most modern car parks serving larger retailing operations have a distinct camber, or drainage fall by which any surface water can easily and with no nonsense be directed into an unnoticeable system of gullies.

The downside is that when pushing a fully laden shopping trolley across to your parked vehicle there is the need to be pretty forceful and determined to tackle the incline. Most adopt the practice of getting a good run up and rely upon the momentum generated by weight and motion of the weekly provisions to reach the boot or hatchback of the family car.

I was crossing one such parking lot at the local Aldi Store when I saw a rogue trolley working itself loose from the grip of its user and rolling across the tarmac on a potential collision course with other parked vehicles.

The lady shopper had turned her back for a moment to transfer the last of her plastic bagged goods into the car and the trolley had taken the opportunity to escape. I felt obliged to intervene and veered off my route to the main pedestrian walkway and intercepted the empty wheeled cart before it could do any damage.

It was, in my minds eye a smooth and seamless operation and I felt most chivalrous and considerate in my action.

The lady seemed to acknowledge my assistance with a hesitant wave which I put down to a combination of shyness and a reluctance to leave her vehicle and its precious load. I thought that it would be silly to take the trolley to her as by all accounts she had finished with it. I waved and gestured, being out of polite earshot, that I would return the trolley to the forecourt of Aldi and park it up amongst the others.

Pleased with my act of good citizenship I made my way through the traffic, humming and content with the world.

About half way between the lady and the front of the supermarket I glanced down at the handle on the trolley. It had an advert sealed inside the plastic grip for some wash powder or other which I nonchalantly read before noticing that sticking out above was one of those holders for a pound coin deposit which used to be commonplace to ensure the return of a trolley. Many supermarkets had done away with the system which was inconvenient and unpopular amongst shoppers but it appears that an inner city located Aldi needed something to retain their trolleys rather than them being abandoned in the surrounding streets or dumped in the canal.

I realised in horror that my newly adopted trolley contained a shiny new pound coin.

This meant that rather than being a gentleman by my act I was really in the category of a thief.

Daring to look back in the direction of the lady I saw that she was just climbing into her car, perhaps a bit bemused at being the victim of a crime.

She would have to leave the parking space by driving past me and so I slowed down and prepared to wait.

The situation now resembled a bit of a Mexican Stand-Off.

I was keen to reimburse the lady but she was reluctant to approach me for fear of what I would possibly attempt next.

Her car was making a most tortuous route towards the exit to the main road. I was not sure whether to just make a run for it abandoning my ill gotten proceeds of crime, the £1 coin or just hold out for a chance to make recompense. After what seemed like an age the car and lady emerged from behind the first row of shoppers vehicles at a snails pace. Perhaps she was also weighing up her options either putting her foot down and careering past me or running me down. I could imagine that in a Court of Law she would be admonished of my manslaughter in the name of self defence and reasonable force.

Of course the coin was firmly locked in the mechanism on the handle and could only be released by smashing into the stack of other trolleys and connecting up to the nearest. I calculated that I would not have time to do this and also apologise to the driver and so fidgeted about in my pockets for a loose £1. I did not appreciate at the time that rummaging about in such a manner may have looked a bit furtive and perverted.

By now the car and myself were level and I made a flagging motion inviting the lady to slow and stop.

Surprisingly and against all reason the driver side window whirred down and I was met by a smiling and laughing face. My antics had fortunately for me amused the lady but may have as easily gone completely the other way.

I sheepishly handed over a warm coin without having to say a word and we parted on our separate ways.

As I left the supermarket car park on my originally intended way I aimed a hefty kick at a sorry looking discarded trolley which felt most satisfying in a strange and justified way.