The Real Tea Party

There is a tipping point for everything.

Depending upon which publication holds more sway, erstwhile ones like New Scientist or The Spectator or less so but more entertaining ones like Punch and The Dandy we have either passed or are fast approaching the tipping point for our natural resources of oil, coal, natural gas and sustainable forested fuels. This is a matter of grave concern for our current generation and somewhat more for those that will follow us if we do not pioneer alternative and viable energy sources now.

However, nothing is as serious as my discovery within the last two minutes that we, as a household, have depleted our supply of tea bags to one single, rather sorry and ragged example. The situation has not been entirely unexpected but we have kidded ourselves in more recent weeks that our massive over supply, gifted or stock-piled at Christmas and in the dark early months of the year would last out well into the summer.

For some inexplicable reason we have taken to consuming vast amounts of tea, ordinary tea with milk. This represents a revolutionary trend and I cannot think why. Of course, the serving of a hot beverage is a stalwart of hospitality and politeness. The spike in tea drinking has not however been prompted by sudden influx of visitors and guests. We have just started to drink more. Psychologists discuss......

We have previously championed the more exotic teas such as the washy and tasteless but healthy green version,spicy and hot aftertasting lemon and ginger infusions and flirted with a fruity selection .This being known to the wider family has resulted in the earlier months of the year in a completely full to bursting cupboard of brightly coloured packets of bags, strings attached or not, organic loose blends, some aristocratically named and fancy packaged teas, some mixes that should never have been attempted and a few jokey and rather irreverent versions such as 'Builders Tea'.

My Mother in Law has acted as the supreme guardian of our tea-caddy and has regularly brought in large boxes of Yorkshire Tea, PG Tips and Tesco's own brand and these have been gratefully received but subsequently plundered in a shameful and extravagant manner. We did slip her a cup of Earl Grey in error after the bags got mixed in with the standard tea. Her reaction was grounded on a love of real tea and short of spitting it out she was most disgruntled with the fragranced cuppa put before her. It was not, she insisted, what should be served under the name of a tea.

In response to the domestic emergency of reaching our last tea bag I have had to revert to drastic measures. At the very back of the cupboard, only reachable by standing on a kitchen chair, I discovered a small rectangular box of loose breakfast tea. It was necessary for me to read the instructions for use because I had gone soft and of addled mind by having been used to just throwing a perforated tea bag in the pot and placing all my faith and trust in the manufacturers for a tolerable strength, colour and reviving experience.

One heaped teaspoon per cup did not seem enough but I followed the recommended amount and the ritualistic practices of warming the pot, allowing 3 to 4 minutes for mashing and then pouring carefully in the absence of a strainer. On reflection it was the best cuppa of the day, the week, the month and possibly the whole year to date. As I downed the last dregs from the mug I came across the residue of the loose leafed tea and remembered why tea bags had come to dominate the market. They are just less messy and so much more convenient.

That last tea bag will be cherished for its qualities, however grubby and stained it may appear....well until the next tea break at about 9.45pm. We may, as a family,  have to fight over it but in a harsh, selfish world that is to be expected. Now, what can we expect when the oil does run out?