Regular

I have lived in the inner city now for just over two years.

It has taken the 24 months to adjust to the lifestyle in the new surroundings after 17 years or so of having resided in a cosy suburban environment. There it was a case of having to jump in the car to get to anything and anywhere but now everything is on my doorstep and within only a short walk.

That can be a good thing but also has it's downside in particular the temptation to nip out on an evening and purchase sweets, crisps and a beverage generally to order of those at home. Such is the convenience that this can be done easily within a typical commercial break in the TV schedule.

As a consequence of my persistent shopping habits I am at last regarded as a local regular by the staff at the Tesco Express Store which is the nearest (3 minutes) shop and this even allowing for their frequent change in personnel and rosters which means someone different at the checkout almost on an hourly basis.

The shop is one of the smaller neighbourhood retail outlets of that Multinational Corporation and although stocking most everyday consumer requirements I do have to, on occasion, go slightly farther afield if they have sold out of a key ingredient or the promotion on two for one chocolate bars has ended.

Less than a minute from Tesco is the Islam Supermarket in a former Kwik-Save premises.

Where Tesco can satisfy my very British urges for snacks and drinks the aisles at Islam appeal to my exotic and impulsive side. Best buys are the basmati rice at £1.99 for a 2kg bag, coconut milk (tinned), large bunches of fresh coriander, fragrant sticks of lemon grass, ugly but moist ginger root and the juiciest limes I have ever come across. All of the foregoing make for our regular saturday tea of thai curry which is a real treat just before settling in for the likes of Strictly, Dr Who and the usual chat show rounds. The weekend visit has made my face known to the Islam staff and so I am regarded as a regular there as well.

My portfolio of local traders also includes the traditionally English corner chip shop, the Indian newsagents, Polish delicatessen, Turkish Pizza parlour, Kurdish mini-market and Latvian hand-car wash.

Something is, however, missing and I have only just come to realise what it is.

I am well looked after for food and provisions but what is absent is being a regular at a public house.

I was too young and busy to contemplate this when at the old house and as I said, the suburban location meant having to drive to a pub which defeated the whole ethos of having a relaxing drink without worrying about blood-alcohol levels with every sip of a pint or pinot.

There are 9 pubs within a 5 minute walk radius of my house which is, in my reckoning, the maximum range that anyone should have to endure where a pub is concerned.

Based on external appearances alone I can disregard four hostelries in the catchment. A scruffy, unkempt exterior does not augur well for a tidy, hygienic and safe internal environment. The reputations of a further two pubs for fighting, drug culture and frequent Police raids led me to pass these over for my patronage. One rather smart pub, sophisticated looking was reputed to be a pick up place for gay men and so I found myself walking quickly past after a brief reconnaissance and did not look back.

The two now shortlisted, by default, could not be more different.

One is food orientated and is well frequented, seemingly enjoying an all day long trade from morning coffee to light lunches, to afternoon cream teas, early diner menu and on to an evening bistro and wine bar.

A lone male would only really be accepted for the coffee morning. There would be sideways looks and much muttering on the later sittings from well to do ladies dining, OAP's resting and nattering, families eating together and the smart,young and affluent night shift.

Not for me this brash new world of the reinvented pub grub, cocktail hour and those on a Tinder date.

That just leaves the one pub where I could possibly nurse a pint for an hour, one evening in the week with anonymity If I choose or ,following a suitable period of induction,  participate in a conversation and that way become accepted as a regular.

I am thinking about going tonight for the first time......wish me luck.