we have not met yet but I thought it would be nice to impart to you some of the knowledge and experience from my own life.
You never know, it may be useful to you at some point, hopefully helpful or at least a guide about what not to do in certain circumstances.
I have drawn on memories and events from a number of points in my life and I have tried to put these in some sort of chronological order rather than on the criteria of importance.
In the first of my Syd Lectures I will cover the crucial period of 0 to 7 years.
Here goes;
Look after your hair, shampoo regularly using a mild soapy mix, Johnson's is a good brand
Dress like a little boy then those commenting casually will not think you are a girl
At the seaside do not try to fill your bucket with water from a perilous slip way
Do not go bright red and feel guilty every time a policeman speaks to you
Too much Sour grape flavour juicy fruit chewing gum will make you sick
Always hold onto a climbing frame with two hands when showing off to girls
Even if encouraged by your peers, do not ask your mummy what "Spunky" means
Playing kiss catch with girls is ok even if you know you can run faster
If pushing a younger child on a large proper bike, do not let go at speed (ask Auntie Susan)
Do not charge money for the neighbourhood kids to feel a fractured skull (as above)
It is right to feel strange when seeing two women fighting on a beach in Norfolk
If a local building burns down, stick to the story that you had nothing to do with it
Faking a tummy ache to skive off school inevitably means having to catch up later
As above, watching daytime TV black and white films is no substitute for an education
Always defend Baked beans over spaghetti hoops
If in a motor scrap yard with your daddy do not fill your pockets with car bonnet badges
The red line on the bottom of the shallow end of a swimming pool means deeper water
Do not remark out loud on the nasal hair of an elderly female spinster auntie
Wear home made hand knitted jumpers with pride , other children are just jealous
Christmas presents from old ladies are exactly what you wanted, alright!
Never allow yourself to be volunteered to be Joseph in a pre-school Nativity play
If you take all of your best toy cars to school on an activity day, they will get stolen
Do not get caught inviting yourself to tea at a best friends house
An electrical socket on a Christmas tree may be finger sized but it is not meant for that
Pets do die
Adult False teeth can sometimes be left in the same drawer you expect to find goodies
A Superhero outfit can be made from nothing and will save your parents a fortune
Wearing a dickie bow tie can be cool
Go with the flow if introduced to playing a musical instrument, excepting a descant recorder
It is normal for hot milk to come out of the nasal orifice
Enjoy the music played by your mummy and daddy. It will be special to you later on in life
to be continued....
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