Milk and Alcohol

It is a word not often heard today but my childhood was one of constant Collywobbles. 

I was a nervy youngster and usually had to be coerced.persuaded or volunteered by others to take part in games, activities, school performances, sports and speaking in public. 

Collywobbles sounds like a gentle and soothing description of a bodily or psychological ailment, almost comic in the images that it conjurs up when mentioned. 

In its normal interpretation it means a tummy ache, butterflies in the stomach, queasiness and a feeling of anxiety in the pit of your belly. 

I was reminded of it a couple of weeks ago when on a radio panel show the name was given to an old traditional drink of milk and brandy which a couple of hundred years ago the poorer of the nation downed to enable them to get through their harsh daily grind in whatever manual labour task they were employed in. 

You can imagine a tipsy workforce turning up en-masse, including children as well if the combination of calcium rich milk and fortifying high alcohol content spirits was seen as a good nutritious breakfast or at least a way of avoiding potentially contaminated foods and water which even in the sanitation savvy Victorian Era were still a major cause of illness and death amongst the working class. 

There is some suggestion that one source of the word is actually the word cholera which was rife in the slums of cities and towns throughout Britain in the 18^th Century and earlier. 

Other etymologists attribute Collywobbles to the medical condition arising from the breathing in of dust from the burning of coal and wood, called colly, again common in both the industrial processes and home life of the Victorians. 

Poor air quality in that fossil fuel powered world could inflict as much damage as the prevailing socio and economic factors. 

It was proven that for those sleeping in a room with many others, as was a typical family unit in the 1830’s working class, the poor atmosphere produced giddiness, drowsiness, mental confusion, headache, vomiting and that was before the influences of dampness in promoting bronchial and other respiratory illnesses. 

Collywobbles could therefore equally be used to describe the stifling atmosphere and the previously mentioned cocktail of milk and alcohol which was regarded as a valid antidote for the consequences of inadequate diet and living environment. 

However, the popular vote for the derivation of this wonderful word is a mashing together of colic as in illness and wobbles, the inevitable outcome of being confused, disorientated and unsteady on your feet. 

My own Collywobbles when young gave me a lot of quality time at home as I could fake them pretty well to be brought home from school in a selection of Teacher’s cars. Those mid mornings and early afternoons developed in me a real passion for black and white films, usually Miss Marple investigates something and chicken noodle soup. 

Looking back now I was a real Collywobbles hypochondriac. 

I still get the same sensations today in my 50’s when I have a difficult bit of work to consider or to speak to a room full of people. Some say that the Collywobbles help you to focus and give you a bit of adrenalin to get you through testing times. On the other hand you could just be reduced to a gibbering wreck.

The same radio show that set me on the path of nostalgia also gave up another interpretation of Collywobbles, that being the reason for a surprisingly poor performance by a sheepdog in a one man and his dog type competition.