Wednesday 19 December 2018

Gert and Daisies

In my sixth decade I find myself doing a bit of mental arithmetic.

20 years ago I was arguably in my lifetime prime but projecting the same period into the future from my current age and I will certainly be quite an old man.

My unfortunate falling down a hole some months ago now did give me a bit of an insight into typical ailments of seniors from reduced mobility to awkward ablutions, rapid fatigue and a completely different attitude of others towards me from my able bodied days.

It was a sobering experience but I have largely recovered from the accident with just a little muscle stiffness and a reluctance to take any chances on potentially slippery or loose surfaces.

So, back to my casual speculation about what I can expect from my frail human body as I approach, hopefully, the last phase of what Shakespeare referred to as the Seven Ages of Man.

I suppose that I am , on his dramatic classification, somewhere between Justice and Pantalone, although that latter term applied in the writings of The Bard to a character obsessed with greed and status which are two attributes that I can honestly say that I have not made my life's work. No Sir.

What I came across recently was an interesting way to simulate old age.

It is a system of clothing and accessories developed and sold by a German Company that recreates on an otherwise fit and healthy individual many of the impairments, restrictions and limitations of advanced age.

The equipment is marketed at schools, colleges, health organisations and manufacturers of aids and means of assistance to the elderly and infirm.

For younger persons it gives a good insight into the trials and tribulations of their elders and perhaps improves them a greater understanding , empathy and compassion towards this older generation. It may mean a bit more respect from youths for a slow moving senior in the bus queue or in the supermarket aisle.

The technical name for the item is a Gerontologic Test Suit or GERT for short.

The brochure for the GERT shows images not unlike a bomb disposal operative or Robo-Cop in his underclothes. The various elements can be attached in isolation or accumulatively to head, torso, main and minor limbs and appendages.

Ear defenders are intended to simulate the loss of high frequency hearing. Goggles are of an opacity to mimic that condition where it affects the lens of the eye in old age and also serving to narrow the visual field.

The combination of these two pieces can also restrict mobility of the head.

Bracing and strengthening in the body suit contributes to joint stiffness and the placing of weights in the fabric creates a distinctive and very real impression of a bent spine and postural weakness.

Other attachments give a loss of grip and muscle power.

The whole thing can produce a disturbing sense of lost co-ordination, confusion and helplessness.

These components of the basic GERT can also be supplemented by accessories such as overshoes to give an unsteady and wobbly gait, knee pads to further restrict muscle movement and glass lenses to reproduce the effects of 6 eye diseases.

There is even a simulator for chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, often called smokers cough and this causes shortness of breathe and wheezing during even the most untaxing, normally,  physical activities such as tying a shoe lace or negotiating a doorstep.

What else can the wearer of a GERT expect to experience?

Well, there are simulations for tremor and tinnitus which can easily develop in old age as the central nervous system comes under attack.

I can see and appreciate the value of this innovative system.

It may be a natural progression from a fat suit or a strap on baby bump although just reading through the brochure is a little bit of a wake up call for what I generally expect to be my most active, energetic and vigorous era yet.

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