Another month and yet another list of dubious word definitions taken from an archive of the long running BBC Radio show of "I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue".
These have been painstakingly compiled by super-officianado Kevin Hale. I am up to the letter "H" which, surprisingly does have quite a few more entries than I expected.
Once again I apologise to students of the English Language for the confusing and misleading nature of these crazy examples.
Here goes...
Hedgerow- feuding neighbours over the shared boundary
Hotpot- stolen drugs
Hunky Dory- a butch fish
Harlequin- one of a group of five motorbikes
Haddock- enclosure for sea horses
Hors Doeuvres- women who tend to hang around diesel pumps on a forecourt
Handicap- working class milliner
Herpes- what she's won prizes for at the summer fete
Hopscotch- a one legged resident from North of the Border
Henna- a bit like a hen
Hoedown- industrial action in the farm workers union
Himalaya- a confused rooster
Harpist- fairly drunk
Haphazard- the danger of haps
Honolulu- civic recognition of a small Scottish female singer
Hamas- what Geordies use to drive in nails
Halitosis- a smelly comet
Hirsute- formal ladies clothing
Humbug- a musical insect
Hundred- illogical fear of Germans
Humphrey- a road free of any speed bumps
Hydrangea- a plea by Tonto in the face of danger
Humpty Dumpty- someone who is humped and then dumped
Hiding- a bell beyond normal reach
Hustle Bustle- 19th Century kerb crawling
Hoarding- a prostitutes microwave
Hosepipe- sailors dancing in their socks
Hob Knob- nasty accident with a cooker
Homophobe- hater of the Simpsons
Hullaballo- how to greet a bear
Hebrew- a Jewish tea bag
Hither- snake with a lisp
Haywain- a greeting in Essex
Hogmanay- cornering the market in paintings by a specific Impressionist
Hindsight- Jennifer Lopez
Hover- trouble with a vacuum cleaner
Hospital- froth from the mouth of a horse
Hysterics- a funny character from Ancient Gaul
Hieroglyphics- better than buying
Hand grenade- an explosive drink
Harvest- clothing under a hair shirt
High Brow- cosmetic surgery gone wrong
Holy Moly- skin blemish in the shape of a religious icon
Hologram- meaningless message
Highway- worlds most elevated Weight Watchers club
Hawaii- an enquiry about your health from a Geordie
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