Scooby Do's and Don'ts

It is often necessary to take a deep breath. 

This can serve to calm the nerves or as a precursor to confronting what could be a difficult or challenging situation in some, as yet, unseen form. 

I am placed in a trustworthy position by being given, on a regular basis in the pursuit of my job, sets of keys by which to gain unaccompanied access to houses, shops , factories and all sorts of properties. 

If the place is empty, as in unoccupied and devoid of furniture then I can look forward to a relatively straightforward inspection. 

However, if I am informed that, typically, a house is lived in but the occupiers are out and happy for me to go in with keys then I adopt the ritual of that deep breath before I push open the front door. 

It can be a case of not really knowing what I may find on the other side. 

A regular problem that I am faced with is to do with domestic pets. 

A conscientious owner occupier is likely to let me know if a pet is in the house and with a special set of instructions to follow. The most common is with an indoor only cat. I am extremely careful not to lose concentration when opening and closing outer doors in case there is a determined escape bid by what is often a timid and pampered feline to find out what the great wide world only previously seen through the windows is all about. 

Dogs present their own special problems. 

A comfortably crated dog is a luxury and I can report that this form of containment and refuge is becoming increasingly common. Being confined behind a wire mesh does not prevent a hound from expressing its displeasure at my apparent trespass into its territory but does give me the chance to do what I have to do and leave without great issues. 

This is in direct contrast to a loose dog shut away in the kitchen or back room. 

Many a time the owners, in giving permission for me to go in unaccompanied have forgotten to mention that a dog is in residence. 

There can be small clues on entering such as a wet doggy odour, a lead hanging on a coat peg in the hallway, squeaky or bouncy balls under foot. 

If I have been walking around the outside of the house then a faithful dog with a protective nature will make its presence known by barking or appearing at a soon steamed up or spittle strewn glazing pane. I can start to develop an understanding straight away by looking friendly and harmless but it may not be until I am in and sniffed at that the animal may be more at ease. 

Houseproud owners often restrict their pet to a small part of the accommodation with the best rooms strictly out of bounds. I may not be aware of this and have, unwittingly, allowed entry to the forbidden zone. 

There is actually nothing funnier than a dog, released from a confined space, having a mad few minutes cavorting about over furniture and carpets which inevitably leaves some traces of paws, claws and hairs. I have on a couple of occasions received a phone late in the day from a homeowner asking if I had let the dog into the lounge at any time in my visit. I usually plead ignorance. 

Two particular dog related incidents are worth a mention. 

The first was just a week or so ago. 

A pug faced cross bred dog, quite a character on first impression was to be found in the back room of a house for which I had keys. It was totally underwhelmed by my intrusion into its small secure environment and looked at me with a bemused and confused look on its face. I had to get past and into another part of the property but it did not move a muscle. 

This lulled me into a false sense of well being and on returning to the back room the dog was nowhere to be seen. It had disappeared from view. 

It took me twenty minutes to eventually find it upstairs, nestled amongst discarded clothing under a bed. It took about the same amount of time to coax it back downstairs using a handful of doggy biscuits that I had found in a kitchen cupboard. It was an exhausting experience and I was grateful to finally lock up and leave that house behind. 

The second incident was a total embarrassment. 

Having introduced myself to the homeowner I started my external inspection and pressed the thumb latch to a side gate to make my way to the back garden. 

The large dog that shot out through my legs must have been waiting for that opportunity, quietly and cleverly. It reminded me, some time later of the old joke that the dog must have been to metalwork classes as it had made a bolt for the gate. 

The escaping dog was closely followed by a now irate homeowner. 

I stood aside only to be confronted by the man who in no uncertain terms insisted that as it was my fault that the dog had absconded I was required to go after it and catch it. 

I had no option but to take on the challenge. 

I spied a happily wagging tail as it made its way up the street. 

The dog was obviously a regular escapee with a set programme of places to visit in the locality, whether to visit other dogs or just to spread its spore in a bid to increase its territory. 

I set off in the same direction hoping for a swift capture but it was not to be the case. 

In the proceeding hour I must have been in and out of every garden in the road. 

The Neighbourhood Watch must have had a field day watching my very suspicious movements. 

On a few occasions I got quite close to the dog as it became cornered in the right angled recess where a conservatory abutted a house wall, on rough ground at the back of a garage, in a bamboo hot tub enclosure, drinking out of a pedestal bird bath, taking a wee in a vegetable patch (the dog-not me), under a childs’ climbing frame, as it ate up something squashed under a wheely bin, menaced a cat under a parked car, lay down panting in a shady gazebo and finally had success when it simply came up to me and licked my hand as if to say "thank you" for the exercise. 

That small show of canine gratitude was actually quite nice as the dog's owner on taking receipt of the hound was still in a sour, grumpy mood and made no attempt at even a grudging acknowledgement of my intrepid efforts.