Misdirection in a Slater's Suit

I am sometimes a bit reluctant to display the contents of the boot of my car to the general public, be they casual passers-by, householders or, heaven forbid, enthusiastic members of the local neighbourhood watch. 

The items are legitimate tools of my daily business but to many observers they may give the impression that I am up to no good whatsoever. 

First out for use is always my set of folding ladders. In compact aluminium they are light and strong giving me the option of a pair of steps or a fifteen foot just off the vertical means of accessing loft spaces, clambering onto a roof, looking over high walls and getting up close and personal to windows and upper parts of a building. They are very good for unfastening a garden gate, for example, by clambering up and leaning over to loosen the bolt or catch. All of the above could be witnessed as suspicious behaviour. 

Second up is a large heavy duty crowbar or wrecking bar. If hung over the rungs of the ladder when walking from car to job there can be an ominous sound of clanging and clattering which is enough to cause the net curtains of surrounding properties to twitch in interest and mobile phones to be reached for with the speed dial lined up to call the police. The bar is very good for prizing up the awkward and often corroded edges of drain hatch covers, easing open painted up doors and windows and teasing up floorboards to get a look underneath. 

Other essential equipment from the car includes a torch, double pronged damp tester, 2 metre spirit level and a briefcase carrying smaller but equally important equipment such as screwdrivers, hammer, stanley knife, plumb line, mirror and a bit of French chalk. 

In the main definition of a specific piece of  current criminal legislation I could be seen as fulfilling most of the criteria of "going equipped".

I quote........

The offence of going equipped for theft can be a serious allegation linked to accusations of burglary or theft. Going equipped is an offence defined by section 25 of the Theft Act 1968.

If you accused of going equipped, the Prosecution must show that you:

• Had a tool or other article in your possession,
• That tool was intended for use in the course of a burglary or theft, and
• You were not at your home

Going equipped is an offence where the key issue relates to what the suspect intended to do with the tool in his possession. People frequently carry the tools during the course of their business or trade, but what defines the offence is the purpose for carrying out a theft or other dishonesty offence.

Common items that cause suspicion of going equipped are crowbars or bolt cutters. When considering the strength of an allegation, it is appropriate to look at the full circumstances of the incident such as whether the accused was carrying out a trade, or the time of day and location of the accused having such an item.

In mitigation I do wear a business suit (Slater Menswear's Best for under £100) and smart shoes and this has given some reassurance to those who might feel that I am up to any mischief. In all of my 30 or so years of going equipped I have only been challenged and called to explain myself a couple of times.

It may be a case of fooling the inquisitive and well meaning with misdirection of a formal appearance because they just do not seem to notice that I am wearing a mask and carrying, over my shoulder, a large canvas bag marked "SWAG".