What the Vicar saw

The quality of the comedy writing by Perry and Croft is perhaps at its best in their Dads Army scripts which were first broadcast in 1968.

There is intelligence in the dialogue which although authentic for the wartime era had a strong relevance to modern day themes and comedic artistry.

There are,  amongst the most well known story lines, a few subtle sub plots which fit well in the overall theme but could as easily be stand alone classics in their own right.

One such example, which is in fact one of my favourites, is embedded in the plot of the episode of "The day the balloon went up" which was the eighth of series three from October 1969.

I do not want to give a spoiler alert about the series of antics and actions in that particular episode but given that we are now celebrating the 50th Anniversary of Dads Army I would feel pretty confident that there are not many in the country who are not familiar with the stray barrage balloon and the attempts by the Walmington on Sea Platoon to try to capture it.

In the minutes leading up to the discovery of the Church Verger suspended from the weather vane in the camouflage netting of the anti-Luftwaffe device there is a superb sub-story.

It starts with drill practice in the Church Hall which is interrupted by the Vicar who is his usual flappy and waffy self.

I have a strong image of the Vicar as I found myself sitting opposite the actor who played him in my local Parish Church one Sunday morning. It was a confusing experience for me, one of those clashes of fiction and reality than can serve to disorientate. I had to stare uncontrollably for a few moments in an attempt to process the whole thing. The explanation was simple enough in that the actor, Frank Williams was on a visit to see his relatives , incidentally being the Godfather of one of my younger brother's best friends.

The Vicar, in the small screen portrayal, was very distressed at having found a rude word scrawled onto the back of the spare Harmonium which was stored up in the Church Tower.

He made the allegation that the culprit must be one of Mainwaring's men in that they were the only personnel allowed in that place in their duties of fire watching during air raids on the town.

The Captain fiercely protective of the reputation of the Platoon, in that he regarded them very much as his own private army, insisted on immediately conducting an investigation into this slur on his men.

A small group made up of Mainwaring, Sergeant Wilson, Lance Corporal Jones, Private Pike and the Vicar make their way up the narrow stone steps to the top of the tower. Private Godfrey has to make a call of nature and is not seen.

The Harmonium casing is checked and there, indeed, is the offensive word.

Mainwaring has the idea , in order to exonerate his men, that they should copy the word in their own handwriting using the original crayon, found in proximity, next to the original on the Harmonium.

The word itself is never actually mentioned but the comedic genius of Croft and Perry gives specific clues as to its nature. The “oh dear” from Mainwaring sets the tone.

First up is Corporal Jones.

Mainwaring bluntly asks, "Have you done that Jones" to which the reply is "What do you mean, lately?". Jones is reluctant to copy the word as he says “what ,now and in public?”

This is followed by the hapless Pike who, to the same question answers " What does the word mean
Mr Mainwaring?” to which the reply is a hasty “never mind that now Pike”

The whole enquiry is spiralling rapidly out of control.

Wilson has all of the squad lined up in the confines of the tower stairwell awaiting their use of the crayon and the Vicar continues to fret as the Harmonium begins to look like a schoolroom noticeboard as it accumulates different scrawled versions.

It is a classic writing ruse with the audience left to make up their own minds as to the offending word as the action moves rapidly on with the cries of the Verger outside of the window.