Counsel

It is always sensible and prudent to consider good advice. Sometimes the advice is given when it is not required. In childhood this is usually the case when a grown up does not really feel that a good telling off is justified for something but Parental Protocol number 334a (minor misdemeanours not causing evident harm to humans or damage to property) nevertheless demands that a short lecture is given with the added value of a sound piece of advice. Other advice, if delivered in a certain tone of voice can be as withering and demoralising as a full scale public dressing down. A bit like a slow insidious verbal poison. The best advice in terms of content and delivery is that between a father and a son when there is no other living soul around to guage the wisdom of the comment or to add their thru'penny worth. In such circumstances it is possible for a father to show off worldly experience, perhaps very well guilded and sugar coated and even a little bit embellished over time being the version of what was imagined as happening rather than the actual chain of events.This does not lessen or cheapen the intention of the advice in any way. Some pearls of wisdom are comical only. They are good to break the respectful silence which often pervades the situation when a father and son find themselves isolated from the noisy family group and on their own in formulating a conversation. As long as the father does not start of with ' Son, back in the day'. The phrase means nothing to the younger generation. The best advice remains in your mind to be extracted as and when required. The stalwarts include ' never eat yellow snow' , ' always check the direction of the wind when going for a wee outdoors', 'If it looks too good to be true it is', 'never sleep in the subway', 'always keep a clean hankie in your pocket, ' you are judged by old people on the appearance of your shoes', 'never disturb a cat when it is eating', 'do not look for a gas leak with a lighted match', 'elder flower and hemlock are quite similar in appearance in the wild but produce a very contrasting fermented wine in terms of quality and social acceptance', 'do not, I stress, ever use screw top lids on home brewed bottled ginger beer...again', 'keep your bike tyres always at optimum pressure', ' badgers have no sense of humour', 'never drink out of a wet glass'. I have taken some liberties in the above but the majority have served me well so far. My father always gave the best,sound advice and calm counsel. For a stupid kid growing up into a hot headed youth and then into an impulsive adult the quiet consideration of my father was infuriating. Although I valued his advice my mind and course was usually, already firmly set. However, he was always right and correct in his deliberations and I accepted his opinions wholeheartedly and with no cause for complaint. Head must rule heart in matters of consumerism, finance and economics. There is plenty of other time for the heart to steer you through life. Such was the wisdom of my father that he would just let me pour out my theory, hypothesis, methodology and justification for something I was planning to do and then listen with patience as I simultaneously talked and reasoned myself out of the whole idea.This was no more evident when I returned home from school, age 15, announcing that I was going to join the army. I had been impressed by a careers lecture on a sixth form army college leading to an Officer Commission. I think I may have started to pack my belongings before coming to my senses. His prudency applied in all areas of my developing life. The first house choice, the mortgage maze, cars being a particular speciality, job and career decisions, a particularly difficult period in my professional life, matters of finance and planning. In his presence and in full respect for his experience I felt again like a small child but in the very best way possible. My often information bombarded and clouded mind, on arriving to ask advice soon cleared and everything was sure and certain going ahead. It is not possible to buy or secure this type and depth of knowledge and practical application and this does leave a very large hole in my life. I have spoken and discussed this matter with my siblings. Indeed many aquaintances of my father have, upon learning of his recent death, confirmed that, amongst many, many other characteristics, his strengths were based on a great level of knowledge, understanding and practical application that could analyse, filter, discard where required and compare all issues in order to give the best and sound advice to those otherwise floundering about in misinformation and confusion. Such an ordered and logical mind does not need to be demonstrative or attention seeking. I never saw my father in a rage and no swearing or even disrepectful words were directed at anyone even if fully justified in the eyes of others. I have unfortunately not inherited my father's best traits and often find myself in a spiral of self destruction through ranting and raving about everything and nothing in particular. At such times I just find a quiet place and reflect on what my father would have said to me. I have enough stored advice from him to get me through just about anything.