Monday, 27 July 2015

Magic Bum

There is a long running radio broadcast show "Genius" hosted by Dave Gorman where members of the public present an idea to a celebrity guest who adjudges whether it warrants the title of genius. The following are the entries from Series One.

The two hooded coat: For protecting your date from the rain. - Winning Genius

The democratic bus: The passengers get to say where the bus goes. - Not a Genius

Taxi driver: Paul Kalli taking shoes as insurance. - Genius

100-metre-high running shoes: To make sprint racing easier. - Genius

The bespoke multi-bladed razor head mould: to make shaving quicker. - Not a Genius

Placing prisoners on exercise bikes attached to the national power grid. - Winning Genius

The science of opposites: Discovering the opposite of an item by examining its function - Not a Genius

Dancing maths teachers: To encourage greater numbers to study maths. - Genius

Build weighing scales into shoes so you can watch your weight on the go. - Genius

Adopt appropriate regional accents for weather forecasts so you know which part to listen to. - Genius

Make the Isle of Wight symmetrical to increase tourism. - Winning Genius

A-bear-toir: Places where naughty children go to have their teddy bears destroyed. - Not a Genius

Dating insurance: Pay a pound per week, and the person who is dumped gets all of the money. - Not a Genius

The torture box: To punish inanimate items. - Winning Genius

Zip-up animal suits: An animal wears the suit, and when it dies you put another animal inside, but it looks the same. - Genius

The conveyer duvet: A duvet cover which surrounds the bed, so that if you pull it towards you, whoever is sleeping with you still has the duvet covering them. - Not a Genius

Gambling ATM Machines: A gambling machine built into all cash points so when you need a £10 you can try and win it even if you only have a few pounds in your account. - Not a Genius

Only Women Voting : Because of the 80 year difference in men being able to vote and women, we should spend the next 61 years with only women voting - Winning Genius

Fizzy Onion Juice : Red or White? Carbonated juice of an onion as a summer time drink. Good with cheese, and vodka. Well we do it with lemons! - Not a Genius

Day of the Week Lotto : An international lottery program where the order of the days of the week are chosen at random. Bonus ball on leap years, and a rollover for unclaimed Tuesdays. - Genius

 Cat Bars : As men have bars filled with dancing girls, women should have bars filled with cats. Thus relieving stress. - Not a Genius

Have swimming lanes built next to cycling lanes. - Not a Genius

Virtual reality headsets for chickens: Genius

Vans delivering fattening food should be constantly moving so that people have to run and get fit if they want the food. - Not a Genius

Wire pianos to lights which are held by members of a choir. When one of the lights is lit , the choir member holding it sings a particular note. - Winning Genius

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