The list comes from a great compilation by a particular fan of the show plus a few enthusiastic additions.
I apologise to actual students of English for this bit of humour which is irreverent, politically incorrect and downright confusing.
Crescendo- termination of child care
Colonade- a fizzy enema
Cruise Control- Scientology
Cabaret- a lot of Taxis
Cannibalistic- a Geordie Missile
Counterpane- an unhelpful worker at a Post Office
Cuticle- sexual harassment whilst waiting in line
Circumspect- point of view of a Rabbi
Custody- belated insult
Capsize- usually 7 and a half
Contraband- United States backed counter revolutionary orchestra
Catharsis- bums on seats in the Church of Rome
Cocquette- a small penis
Convince- the unfortunate swindling of a man called Vincent
County Down- the most popular day time TV show in Ireland
Circumstantial- a really large scale operation on a Jewish Baby
Combination- a country where nearly everyone has a camper van
Cenotaph- Welsh laxative
Cocoa Bean- ex clown
Celibate- a virgin fish
Cannelloni- the opinion of a Scottish Bank Manager
Chiropractice- tour guide school in Egypt
Conurbation- nightime activities of prisoners
Cherry- like a chair
Chairs- a toast by the queen
Canteloupe- inability to run off and get married
Curate- a doctor
Coincidental- matching teeth
Catalyst- a three legged moggy
Collie Wobbles- a three legged sheep dog
Creche- a collision involving cars in Kensington
Claustrophobia- a fear of Santa Claus
Coffee- someone covered in spit
Cloister- pretentious clam
Cauterised- a squinting Cyclops
Circumnavigator- a Jewish Sailor
Cheap- an italian potato fry
Culotte- everyday at the Post Office
Co-Opt- a brainwashing chain of local shops
Concurrent- looks like a raisin but isn't
Countryside- to kill Piers Morgan
Carpentry- a way in for ornamental fish
Cabbage- the language of taxi drivers
Can- can. 2 tins
Custard- to swear after stepping in something
Campanology- a study of tents
Castigate- a nasty accident after trying to climb into a field
Crux- middle class villains
Combat- aggressive marsupial
Comatose- your foot goes to sleep
Contradiction- conversation between Nicaraguan Revolutionaries
Crackdown- where to hide drugs in a hurry
Centrifugal- a soldier falling over
Childhood- young gangster
Colic- sheepdog with an upset stomach
Conclude- an obscene nose
Cantankerous- a chain of shops selling armoured vehicles
Copulate- the time taken for the Police to respond to a call
Caddy- like a cad
Consensus- statistics about the Prison Service
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