Pane Relief

The appearance of a broken house window that be clearly seen from the street does not give the best impression of the resident and no doubt this also detracts from the wider neighbourhood.

In this case the tenant, I shall refer to him as John in order to preserve his dignity, had caused the unsightly damage in perhaps the most freakish combination of events.

The back story goes something like this.

It had been a long held ambition of John to replace his ageing television.

In the market place where the emphasis in televisual entertainment is based on the slimness and functionality of the appliance you could say that John's existing TV was a bit of a dinosaur.

It had at one time, perhaps even for just a few weeks given the rapid progress of engineering and product design, been the top of the range, a desirable piece of kit and prestigious item of furniture to grace the best of living rooms in the country.

The fact that it took John and three of his mates to remove the TV set and man-handle it up the stairs to its resting place in the back bedroom was a bit of a giveaway as to its bulk and obsolescence.

A couple of repair men had been summoned to see if it was capable of restoration but the unanimous verdict had been that it was beyond economic tinkering.

John was disappointed at the prospect of losing what had been a constant companion to him in his leisure time but also excited in anticipation of getting a replacement.

Cost, however, was an issue as his circumstances were a bit difficult at present what with a prolonged period of absence for work through sickness and a tight domestic budget where rent and food took overall priority.

He made for the High Street and one of the increasing number of retail outlets that offer easy payment terms and for a wide range of goods already discounted as they had been offered by and bought from those needing to raise cash.

John was drawn to a large plasma screen television which was being sold for around one tenth of its original list price. Yes, it may have been superseded by newer models with more features and better connectivity but it ticked all the boxes as far as John's entertainment needs were concerned.

It must have taken the use of a delivery service, taxi hire or a favour from a friend to get the massive TV back to his rented house after affordable weekly terms had been agreed over the counter.

I had to walk sideways through the doorway from the hallway into the front room such was the intrusive bulk of the plasma set. It was stood on a low wooden cabinet and completely filled the recess of the window bay. Just behind it was the cardboard packing and polythene layering of the broken glazing pane.

John, a conscientious tenant, explained how the accident had occurred.

He had been stood, just before Christmas, in front of the TV admiring the quality of the picture when he had felt a sneeze coming on. The violence of it took him by surprise and not yet being accustomed to the much scaled up presence of his new bit of electronic equipment he felt safe to let nature take its course after the initial irritation in his nasal passages. What would have been safe practice in the vicinity of his smaller old Telly had now put him in harms way.

The forward motion of his head in sneezing brought the bridge of his nose in contact with the outer corner of the plasma set.

This had the knock on effect of destabilising the long, slim and upright object which wobbled a bit on its base and then fell backwards with an inevitable impact with the glass in the window.

For his pains John showed me a scar at the point of contact and also a large dint in the metal boxing of the TV.

Physical suffering aside he was mightily relieved that the new acquisition had not been damaged.

On the plus side of the strange affair the Landlord had found further faults in  the larger timber window frame and had decided to fit a brand new double glazing unit and that was to be fitted a few days after my visit.

A bit of a win-dow-win situation you could say..